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10 Secret Ingredients of a Successful and Happy Marriage - Save Your Marriage

Updated on July 17, 2011

The Lovely Loving Relationship Starts Here

Everyone step into their marriage life with thousands of dreams and hopes. But only few succeed till last. Many shatters in the middle way, especially in this modern era. The couples blame each other for the failure. They don’t have time or patience to sit and analyze the issue and make things straight.

But, trust me, maintaining a good relationship with your husband or wife is not a big task at all, if you can follow the below 10 points. Marriage is not all about compromises. You don’t need to compromise anything, if you build the bond in between you by using Love and Trust.

So, let us step into the steps of life, the guide to guide you through a successful life of marriage.

1. Let the base be LOVE and TRUST

Whether it is an Arranged Marriage or Love Marriage, let Love and Trust be the base for the majestic building called Marriage. Without this basement, how strong you believe the building is, will collapse slowly when days pass.

No one can live without love, and a life without love is meaningless. Also, a love without trust is like sailing on a sea in an old boat. Anytime a hole may burst in and sink the entire boat. Trust your partner and build a strong relationship

2. Understanding

Everyday is not the same and every moment is not the same. We all are human beings and to err is human. Everyone will go through the mood swinging phase. Our mood swings from happy to sad to fear to pain and so on… Your partner might be upset today because of an incident happened at office, which you didn’t happen to know. So, if he/she comes home with a grumpy face, don’t make up a story immediately that he/she hates you and has no love to you. Just try to understand and act accordingly. A warmth smile and a sweet hug may bring him/her back to normal and open a path to share the reason.

So, just understand and give time.

3. Accept

Expecting one to change completely for us is ridiculous. Of course we should have some give and get policies in life. At the same time, one should be ready to accept life as it is. True love does not expect one to change for oneself. It accepts what you are, just as you are.

Life without expectations is meaningless. But life full of expectations will ruin the entire future. Draw the line of limit. Expecting your husband to come early on your wedding day or once in a month, and take you for a dinner is not a bad or beyond a level of expectation. But expecting him to do the same everyday is not a feasible one.

So, reduce your expectation, be practical and accept the reality. Your marriage will bloom.

4. Little Patience

A few moments of patience will save your entire life. Many marriages are broke down, due to the loss of “Few Moments” pause. Life is full of ups and downs, and obviously, issues will come in between any couples in any form. It could be in the form of relatives, family members or friends. Sometimes, it could be a financial problem or just a day to day activity change.

Whatever the issue is, if you show patience for a few minutes at least, and let the flame to slow down and your mind to calm down, you may find lots of paths to travel and solve the issue. You may get new ideas to win the situation. But 75% of couples are not doing this. The moment they get angry, they just shout at each other and threw the blame and nasty wounding words on each other, spoiling the entire situation, which could have been handled in a better way.

Are you going to say something against? Wait. Just wait for a few minutes. Breath in and breath out completely. Relax. Now, yes. Start saying your points. You will feel the difference.

5. Quality time

This is one important factor for successful marriage, which is getting reduced between couples in this mechanical life, loaded with work. Most people are not aware of how to balance their work and life, and mix both. I have few friends, who open their laptop as soon as they enter the home and continue their work. They don’t even spend a time with their partner to know what she did today or a moment to learn what their kids have to share.

In the homes, where both husband and wife go for work, the kids suffer more without getting this Quality Time, to enjoy with their parents. Quality time does not mean that you have to take a month off from office and go for some beach resort for vacation. Of course, that sounds more good. But, if not possible, at least spend 15 minutes in a day to share and talk with your spouse. Have a candlelight dinner at home, just tell the funny incident that happened to you on your way to work or just ask her how she feels after joining the new job. I am sure, you have a loads of topics to share between you.

6. Keep it Fresh

One thing that is more visible among couples is, fading of love in the marriage life, when time passes. In the early days of marriage, they spend more time together, they care to notice even small changes in each other, love to roam out together. But when time passes, the integrated activities get reduced slowly and sometimes vanish completely after some time.

I have a friend, who cried her heart out to me saying that her husband didn’t tell a word about her new hairstyle, which was so obvious (she changed her long hair into a very short one). He once used to notice even a small changes in her, like she changed her ear ring or the dot (also called as Bindi in India, placed in the forehead of the Hindu women in India). So, she complained that he changed completely and has no love towards her.

But, I am damn sure, he is not hating her or got some other affairs. It is just fading of interest when time passes. Keep your love and marriage fresh, as it is the day one you met your love. You will feel young and romantic. Your life too will be a great success.

7. Never Give up

No man or woman in this world will tolerate comparisons. Never ever do the mistake of comparing your wife with Julia Roberts or Demi Moore. Same way, don’t tell your husband that he is no way a match to compare with Tom cruise or Brad Pitt.

Also, never give up and talk about your spouse, especially in the presence of others. Nothing in this world can hurt him/her more than that. A simple sentence to your guest like “Oh I know her. She always do this mistake” may break your marriage in long run, even if not in the next day.

“Appreciate at the back, but blame or complaint only to the person”. This word suits not only for friendship, but for also those who wants to successful in their married life.

8. Breathing Space

Most couples expect that their partner should not have anything in personal and should share everything with him/her, whether it is a new friendship or a new email id. But as I said earlier, expectations beyond a limit may shatter your life.

Don’t irritate him asking questions like “What you did to your old shoe and when did you get this new one?”. Give a breathing space. Don’t peep your nose in each and every silly matters. This may stop him/her from sharing even real, worthy matters with you, as you may turn as a silly person in his/her eyes.

9. Unconditional

Marriage fails when your unconditional love turns into a conditional one. If you marry some one with some pre conditions in your mind, then just note in your diary that your marriage will fail soon, as conditions may change at any moment of your life. Change is the only constant thing of life. So, if you are conditional and not ready to cope up with changes, you may fail in your life.

If you marry some one because she is beautiful, then the marriage will blast, if she loses that beauty. If you marry some one because he is wealthy, your marriage is built on money and not on love. It will drain up, if he loses all money.

A marriage built on love, with only one condition that “I love you and be on your side without any conditions, no matter where to live or how to live” will live happily ever after.

10. Share, Care and Express

Though I said, don’t expect your partner to share each and everything with you, it is always lovely to share all matters with each other. So, instead of making your partner to expect you to share, why don’t you do it on yourself, on the first hand?

Care is one thing, everyone loves to get in their life. The happiness they feel when they knew someone is there to care them, cannot be bought by any money in this world. Just show them, you are there to care until the world ends. You will feel the joy inside you.

Another big point, which I love to tell as a conclusion also is, “Not everyone is blessed with the magic power of understanding you, without expressing yourself”. I know my own dad, who loves my mother very much and he cannot tolerate even if she gets sick for a day. He will be too upset and cannot concentrate on any of his work, if she is not healthy. But I never seen him saying or expressing his love to her in words.

Of course, in their days, saying “I love you” is too dramatic and I bet, no Indian couple who got married some 20-25 years and above might have told this to each other. But they live happily for ever, because they had the other point “Understanding” each other, just by their eye movements.

But in this modern world, when people are racing with each other, there is no time to sit and understand the indirect expressions. So better to say “I love you” and don’t take chance.

Do you still think that your marriage fails?


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