- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
10 Signs She's Cheating
Women cheat; sometimes as cavalierly as men have been known to do. Not all women, obviously (and no, not all men, either) but more than you'd think. Especially in this day and age when monogamy is categorized as passe by those women who think sexual liberation and sexual infidelity are mutually exclusive terms. For the purposes of this article, we're going to skip the analysis of why they do or don't cheat, because that's not why you're here. No, you're here because you want to know what you ought to be looking for if she's got an extra man on the sly.
Before I get to the signs, however, do realize that none of these items are, on their own, proof that she's getting up to something; they may simply be signs that your relationship is going downhill. So don't go crazy and accuse her of anything unless you've got more evidence than just a nagging hunch. If you can spot several of these in one go, it's time to sit your woman down and have the talk. The following signs are in no particular order:
Why Women Cheat
1. No boot knocking.
Lots of couples go through dry spells in the bedroom, some lasting years. In some cases, this isn't a significant issue; in others, it's the elephant in the room. While it certainly doesn't mean she's cheating if she refuses to get wild in the sack, it could be a sign that something is amiss. You see, while men will often sleep with their wives and mistresses in the same day, most women will not sleep with the person they are cheating on. Some will, but most wouldn't be able to cope with the guilt.
2. No interest in your whereabouts.
If you stay out all night and stumble through the door at dawn reeking of alcohol and your woman doesn't even bat an eye, that's a sure sign that something is wrong. Most women, even the non-nagging type, would be well-annoyed if their man pulled that. Tell her you're going out with the boys for 3 days in a row and see how she reacts to you coming in with the morning paper. If she doesn't even notice you're back, you've got a woman whose thoughts could be on someone else.
3. Her friends/family are suddenly uncomfortable around you.
Many women will confide to at least one of their friends, or perhaps a sibling. These people, while being sworn to secrecy out of loyalty to her, are still very much unlikely to approve of what she's doing. Which means they'll probably feel quite badly for you, and may even have trouble looking you in the eye when they see you. If they're acting strangely, this could be a sign that something is going on.
4. She's always on the internet.
Does your woman spends lots and lots of time on the internet? Lots of men and women go seeking someone to talk to when they feel their relationship is in the crapper. They start out looking for consolation and a little attention, and before you know it, cyberstuff is going on. Unless she's a professional writer or has another job that requires her to be online all the time, you should take notice if she sits up all night online; she could be instant messaging with someone you'd rather not have her instant messaging with.
5. Extreme personality change in either direction.
More often than not, a cheating woman will feel extreme guilt, even if she thinks you deserve to be cheated on. One of the primary ways women cope with this is by either being a total witch, or by becoming the sweetest woman you've ever met. The first character change is due to her being angry at herself and projecting that crap onto you. The latter is from either trying to make it up to you on some level, or trying to conceal it so you won't suspect anything. Either way, neither of these are good signs.
Catch Her Cheating
6. She's always talking about her new friend.
Oftentimes the new man in a cheating woman's life will have started out as a platonic friend. One she's crazy about on the inside and can't stop talking about. If she knows that she's attracted to him, she may tell you it's a woman and not a man, but either way, she'll want to tell you all the wonderful things about this person. Not because she wants to hurt you or make you feel bad, but because she really likes him and wants to tell someone -- and you happen to be in the same house when she feels like talking. Women are chatty, even when up to no good.
7. You catch her daydreaming with a big smile on her face.
A woman in love will often fantasize about the man in question when she's away from him. The same goes for the woman in lust. If you walk into the living room and see her staring off into space with her face all lit up and a girlish grin, she's thinking happy thoughts. If she looks nervous when interrupted from these thoughts, that's a sure sign of feeling guilty, whether she's actually done anything or not.
8. New diet/gym membership.
There's nothing wrong or unusual with either of these things, but if you see this in conjunction with, say, any of the previous items, it could be an issue. This is especially true if she's been a bit frumpy and disinterested in her appearance for a significant period of time. Why? Because it often takes a very significant source of inspiration to motivate a woman to make those big changes. No, it doesn't have to be another man. It could be Richard Simmons, for all I know. It's just one of those things you don't want to ignore completely in case it's a sign of something bigger: She may be wanting to make herself sexy for someone else.
9. You find lingerie you've never seen before.
Going back to that guilt thing, some women will not want to re-use lingerie with a new partner. If you find a new teddy in the laundry room that's clearly been worn, but not with you, this is a sign that something is wrong. Same goes for finding it in the bedroom, even if in a clean state; if she's buying new lingerie, she has a reason for doing so. Ask why you've never seen it before and see how she reacts.
10. New everything else.
Has she just gotten a new hairstyle? Has she updated a wardrobe she hasn't changed in a decade? Is she wearing a new perfume? New heels to replace her flip-flops? Is she a new woman? This is a sign that she's making a massive changes and upgrading her life. It could be a sign that she's preparing to upgrade to a new man, as well. Note: one or two new things means absolutely nothing -- it really needs to be on a grand scale before you read anything into it.