ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

10 Signs On How To Recognize a Good Listener

Updated on February 6, 2011

Do You Know What To Look For?

A good listener is worth their weight in gold and one of the most important foundations in a relationship is for both partners to be good listeners.

So whether you are already in a relationship and are looking for a good listener to use as a role model or if you are looking for the love of your life and one of your criteria is someone who is a good listener, it is always good to be able to recognize a good listener. So the following are ten signs of a good listener:

You Can Feel That The Listener Is Fully Present And In the Moment With You:

You can tell the difference between someone who is fully in the moment with you versus someone who has their mind on something else is when you are talking to the unfocused person you will get an urge to rush through what you are saying versus when you are with a person who is totally focused on you, you will feel at home and that you have all the time in the world to say what you have to say. With a person who is totally focused on you, you will almost feel like sighing because you feel so supported and because you feel like you are truly the centre of their attention.

The Listener Will Keep Eye Contact With You:

The listener will keep constant eye contact with you, only looking away on occasion to prevent staring or awkwardness.

The Listener Will Nod, Smile And Give You Auditory Feedback:

A good listener will nod, smile and give you auditory feedback such as "Mm hum", "Yeah" "I see" or "No, really?" in a sincere and interested way to encourage you to continue and to indicate that they are listening.

The Listener Will Encourage You To Continue Talking:

As you are talking, they will encourage you to continue talking. For example they will say things like "That's really interesting" or "I find that interesting, please continue "or "I'd like to hear more."

The Listener Will Parrot Back What You Are Saying When Appropriate:

Every once in a while, a good listener will parrot back what you say to indicate they are paying attention and that they are right in your story with you.

The Listener Will Only Finish Your Sentence When Appropriate:

A good listener will only finish your sentence when the timing is right, not to try to rush you through your story or to help you out when you are at a loss of words, but to show that they are on the same wavelength as you.

The Listener Goes By the 80% Listening, 20% Talking Rule:

A good listener knows that the art of being a good listener (whether that is because they just intuitively know or because they are actually aware of the rule) will listen approximately 80% of the time during the course of the conversation and spend only 20% of the conversation talking.

The Listener Will Keep The Conversation Focused on Your Topic of Discussion:

There is nothing more annoying than to open a conversation with someone and they change the topic on you in the middle of what you are trying to express. This often happens when the person gives you an example about themselves to show that they understand what you are saying but then they keep going with their example or take the opportunity while the attention is on themselves to switch topics. A good listener if they feel the need to use an example to back up what you were saying will keep it short and will return the conversation back to what you were talking about.

The Listener Will Ask You Thoughtful and Open-ended Questions About What You Are Talking About:

A good listener will ask you thoughtful questions that will lead you into opening up into further detail about your topic of discussion. For example, they may say something like " So you work in the Marketing Department, tell me about some of the duties that you are in charge of or what specifically are in you charge of or what aspects of your job do you love?"

The Listener Knows How to Empathize With You:

When a good listener feeds back how you are feeling, their description of the feeling or emotion will actually match how you are feeling. If they are off, they are dedicated to finding out how you are truly feeling versus throwing out a bunch of descriptions of how you are feeling in hopes of eventually guessing the correct feeling or emotion.

If you recognize a good listener in your life, tell them you how much you appreciate them. If you are still looking for a good listener to come into you life, it is both worth the search and the wait, because not only will they create a wonderful communication foundation for your relationship, they will always make you feel special and supported in expressing yourself.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      DoveFreexrolo 2 years ago

      I see you share interesting content here, you can earn some additional cash, your blog has big potential, for the monetizing method, just search in google Ð K2 advices how to monetize a website.

    • profile image

      Chieglili 5 years ago

      I helpful to obtain on top of lifestyle although as of late I've truly established a weight.

    • profile image

      TouNiDan 5 years ago


    • profile image

      calebstorkey 5 years ago

      Neat- I'd never come across the 80/20 rule applied to listening, but that would make good sense.

      Also love the reference to open ended questions. It's a tough one to realise how quickly I can go back to poor habits of listening, especially when life is busy and too rushed.

      I dropped a few other points on this subject here

      I missed out the focus that the listener will keep the conversation on your topic. Thanks for that point.

      Enjoyed reading this and look forward to more of the same! Thanks

    • profile image

      Philips bright 6 years ago

      Wow! This is so remarkable, i never knew that i can be a good listener like this, until the day i read the writte up of mr. Writermel. infact you are the messiah of my listning. Thanks for your rescue.

    • profile image

      jackey oumah 6 years ago

      after kuread hii article nmediscover sijakuwa listener poa ju ka na ongea na mtu-chaly au dem- simface. sijajua kwa nini na hiyo imenicoz sana hata sina dem @ 19

    • htodd profile image

      htodd 6 years ago from United States

      This is really great "Sign of a Good listener"

    • profile image

      vivian 6 years ago

      I now discover that I am not a good listener, this article will really help me to become one.

    • profile image

      vivian 6 years ago

      I now discover that I am not a good listener, this article will really help me to become one.

    • profile image

      SanXuary 6 years ago

      The 80 to 20 rule is thrown out if you our a woman right? someone has to talk 80 percent somewhere or the equation does not add up. The test is feed back with out it the conversation was never completed but feed back can be returned at another time.

    • profile image

      naturalsolutions 6 years ago

      I can say after i read this that i am perfectly a good Listener spend their whole time in just listening. Even they have more schedule they will cancel it just to listen to someone. For me, good listener is better than the good adviser. Listener only wants the person let out their feelings in the most simple but i'm pretty sure long conversation way but an adviser gives an advice in just a single idea and information without knowing the real story and unawareness on what things will happen after their advice.

    • profile image

      william 6 years ago

      Great learning

    • profile image

      Rahul 6 years ago

      Very nicely written and cover all the points

      keep writing articles like this

    • profile image

      Nthabiseng 7 years ago

      what an informative article.I've just that I thought I was brilliant speaker but how brilliiant wil I be if i'm not able to listen to others.thank you so much

    • profile image

      Mona 7 years ago

      a good listener does not necessarily have to talk less.

    • profile image

      Nardos 7 years ago

      I had wanna knw aw z gud listener aw has 2 be? It's help me.

    • profile image

      Tejashree 7 years ago provide all this that i could make my presentation

    • profile image

      ishrat 7 years ago

      its agreat help for me as i felt it lacking in wl b highly appreciated if u guide for wen to speak and wen to b quiet.

    • profile image

      tesfahun 7 years ago

      it very good to be a good listener and am trying to be it but i failed so many times ...i won't give up anyhow thanks for giving me this article.

    • profile image

      Sherry 7 years ago

      To be a good listener, one needs to understand the unstated intention of the speaker: to vent, to seekin advice, to chat up a relationship, to confirm their instinct or sometimes bad behavior, etc.? In my experience, many people just want an audience so that they can listen to themselves. So, listen attentively and nod knowingly, and if that is too much of an ordeal, stick it out to the end, but turn off the cell afterwards so that you will be out of reach for a while.

    • profile image

      cookie 7 years ago

      gud article. it vil help in my assignment

    • profile image

      COOKIE 19 8 years ago


    • profile image

      Tigasa 8 years ago

      I'd like to ask whether others think casting your eyes UP when breaking eye contact often gives the impression of disinterest?

    • profile image

      Homer 8 years ago

      Thank you for the information. I really appreciate the message tht you have been post. Hope to see you soon.

    • nadiaazhar profile image

      nadiaazhar 8 years ago from kuwait

      that's so true we all need to be good at listening,it even helps in making good relationships.nice hub.

      best regards,nadia

    • profile image

      vaishnavi Ragunathan 8 years ago

      really very good.....

    • profile image

      Nabil 8 years ago

      Thanks! Great article. hope you wouldn't mind if I'd translate your article into Arabic, would you? cuz I believe that what you've written was such a great object and it deserves distributing. Hope to hear from you :D

    • MaryElena profile image

      MaryElena 8 years ago

      The eye contact piece is right on the money.

    • prasadjain profile image

      Dr.S.P.PADMA PRASAD 9 years ago from Tumkur

      Good article. Features are properly listedout, and explained

    • profile image

      nissa 9 years ago

      This is awesome! I do all the above so that means I'm a good listener! =) But that's what I do best. I listen to people all the time. How do make people listen to my stories? My friends always cut me when I'm telling stories. =(

    • profile image

      WriterMel  10 years ago

      Hi Dottie1,

      Thank you for your feedback.

      I was inspired to write the article after I discovered that I wasn't as good a listener as I thought I was. It was eye-openning, yet very good experience. It also helped me to apprecriate the people who are good listeners even more.


    • Dottie1 profile image

      Dottie1 10 years ago from MA, USA

      Good and meaningful. We all need to become better listeners. Dottie


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: ""

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)