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10 Things You Can Do To Get Over Your Ex

Updated on October 13, 2015

1. Get It Out of Your System

The first thing you should do after a break up is give yourself a full day to mope around, be sad, and cry. Get it all out of your system: the rage, the sadness, the longing. Watch movies that will make you cry and listen to sappy love songs. It’s your official mope day, so do what you need to do to grieve.

2. Remove Reminders

After you have taken the time to mope, it is time to purge. Remove all the reminders of your ex from your home. Pack them up and put them in the attic, donate the items to charity, and return your ex’s personal items. Don’t be vicious during this phase. If you have an item that belongs to your ex, make sure it is returned. Acting out in revenge and destroying something your ex may want to keep can prolong your own suffering. Let it go because you are going to move on.

A Weeping Woman by Rembrandt.
A Weeping Woman by Rembrandt. | Source

3. Clean Up Social Media

After all of your ex’s items have been returned, there is no longer any need to keep up with your ex socially. Do yourself a favor and remove your ex from all of your social media. Leaving your ex on your account will only bring you pain as the other person may start flirting and actively dating. You do not need to know what she or he is doing anymore, so be liberal with the delete, block, and remove buttons. You may also want to remove your ex’s family members or friends at this time, as well. Letting go means letting go of all of it.

4. Do Something New

You’ve moped and you’ve cleaned up. The next step is to actively move on to something new. I don’t recommend playing the rebound game. Instead, take this time to focus on yourself. Build a bucket list and choose something new you want to try out or explore. This could be anything, from taking a course at your community college to getting in your car and checking out a tourist sight you have never visited before.

5. Get Some Exercise

Exercise is not only great for your health, but it can also help get your mind off of things you don’t want to dwell on. You can use exercise as a backup plan for when you are feeling weak and have the urge to contact your ex or, even better, you can add 15 to 45 minutes of exercise to your daily schedule. That way, you are keeping yourself occupied by doing something that is great for your body and self esteem.

The Knitting Woman by William Bouguereau.
The Knitting Woman by William Bouguereau. | Source

6. Make a Personal Change

When you let go of so much, you need to invite something new and different into your life. Take some time to think on the things you would like to change about yourself. It can be as simple as changing your hairstyle or it could be more profound, such as making a spiritual change. Whatever it is you want to change, make it just one thing. One thing at a time ups your chances at success. Succeed in one bit of positive change and you can start conquering the world.

7. Remember the Bad Times

You are sitting at home, alone, and missing the time you spent with your ex. You reach for the phone. Stop. You are about to open up a can of worms that should be left alone to rot on the shelf. Instead of moping over the good times, remember the bad times. Remember the reasons why the relationship did not work. Don’t get yourself worked up and into a hating state of mind. Just reassure yourself that there is a reason why the other person is your ex.

8. Accept What Happened

Everything happens for a reason. You may not know what that reason is right now, but someday you will, if you ever actually look back on this moment. Acceptance is a major part of the healing process. Take some time out when you are feeling sad and practice meditation or simply reflect on all the good things that have happened in your life. Make a list of all of your accomplishments. Pray or practice positive affirmations. When you are able to accept what has happened, you can finally let go and move on.

Reinvent Yourself

9. Set New Goals

After a break up, it is time for you to reevaluate what you want to do with your life. Old goals that you set while you were in a relationship should be tossed away. Sit down with a pen and paper and do some soul searching. What is it that you, and you alone, want to accomplish? Make a list of personal goals and, if you want, a list of work related goals.

10. Flirt

Flirting is the last thing you should consider immediately after a break up. If you dive right in to the crowd too soon after a break up, you may wind up doing something you will regret the ned day. Instead, hold off on flirting until after you have completed at least two or three of the steps above. Finding love is not a race and you don't need another person to help define you. Do some work on yourself, first, and then flash your smile to the world. Keep flirting and dating light and casual until you are absolutely certain that you are ready for a new relationship.


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 18 months ago

      Great Advice!

      Lots of people forget about steps 7 & 8.

      In fact in some ways #8 is so important it could almost be #1.

      You can't "move on" until you "let go".

      You won't let go until you (accept) it's over!

      Romanticizing the past and hoping for reconciliation holds you back.

      It's also good to associate with supportive friends and family members whenever life throws unexpected curves. The feeling of being "completely alone" oftentimes can lead to a deep depression.

      It also helps to keep things in perspective.

      In order for your ex to have been "the one" they would have had to see (you) as being "the one"! At the very least a "soul-mate" is someone who actually wants to be with you! (And vice versa).

      Thankfully there are over 7 Billion other people on the planet. The person you may feel you can't live without just know this: There are Billions of us doing exactly that every day! In fact before you met him or her you were one of us! You had a life before you ever met them!

      Every ending is a new beginning!

      Your future lies ahead of you and not behind you!

      One man's opinion!:)

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