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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
20 Things Wives Should Never Say to Their Husbands
Since I just wrote an article on 20 things a husband should not say to his wife, I thought I would be fair and give a little advice to my fellow female friends. Women can be just as clueless and heartless as the men. Here is a list I have come up with based on personal experience (my mistakes), observing the healthy and unhealthy marriages of others, and doing a lot of reading on marriage. I'm putting these in categories, but many of them could fit in more than one. These are sure relationship busters if you use them often. Let this be a lesson to us, ladies.
1. "If you loved me you would ______."
2. "You don't love me, otherwise you would have done/not done it" (when your husband doesn't do something you ask or expect).
3. "So and so's husband does/doesn't do _______."
4. "You are so clueless."
5. "You're doing it all wrong."
6. "It can't be that hard to fix a _____(fill in the blank)."
7. "You look like such a dork in that _____". This can be said playfully with no ill intent and some husband's might chuckle along. It can also be said seriously and hurt his feelings.
Nagging terms to avoid like the plague
- If you would just...
- Why can't you...
- You always...
- You never...
- You should/shouldn't...
- You're supposed to...
Nagging to convey inadequacy
8. "You're supposed to love me as Christ loved the Church." This is a true statement; however, you can't nag someone into loving you that way.
9. "Husbands (or fathers) are supposed to ____(fill in the blank)." This is raising the bar of your expectations, and it's nagging.
10. "You're supposed to be the spiritual leader of the home, so why aren't you leading?" This is something between God and your husband. It's best to pray for him privately and be sure to do your part by respecting him.
11. "Why can't you just get another job (or ask for a raise)?"
Dividing friends and family
12. "Him again? He's such a pig (goon, jerk, dork, geek)," Said when your husband invites his best friend over.
13. "My mother (father or parents) warned me you'd do this."
14. Your mother (or father) is __________." The blank is always filled in with an unflattering or unkind name or character defect.
15. "You're just like your mother (father, sister, brother)." Not said in a complimentary way, it's insulting.
16. "I shouldn't have to tell (or ask) you. You should just know what I want (or think, or need)." Men are not mind readers, and they don't have women's intuition. They have men's intuition and the two aren't even close.
17. "Do I look fat in this?" No matter what he says it's going to be wrong and he'll be in trouble. So decide for yourself or ask a friend.
18. "I know I promised not to spend ____ (fill in the amount) without consulting you, but these were on sale and I saved $____." You don't like it when he does it to you.
19. "You always..." or "You never..." It may seem like always and never, it may be predictably common, but always and never are not always and never.
20. "Jennifer's husband just got a raise and he's only worked at his company for five years." Comparisons like this hit the husband below the belt.
"The contentions of a wife are a continual dripping."— Proverbs 19:13