ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

10 Ways How You Cannot Be Evicted From Your Friend's Wedding Reception

Updated on May 11, 2016
The happy couple get the first dance
The happy couple get the first dance | Source

Something brand new

I am experimenting with something new. Brand-spanking new, friends. Just what is the difference in "brand new" and "brand-spanking new?" This has always bothered me. I can appreciate just how sophisticated my HubPages followers are, so I can confess such things without fear of condemnation.

Typical wedding reception scenes

Bouquet toss
Bouquet toss | Source
A creative bride tosses a cat instead of her bouquet
A creative bride tosses a cat instead of her bouquet | Source
Fancy tables for family and friends
Fancy tables for family and friends | Source
The bridal couple's cake
The bridal couple's cake | Source
Guest registry
Guest registry | Source
Beautiful flowers
Beautiful flowers | Source
Groomsmen getting wild
Groomsmen getting wild | Source
The groom finds the bride's garter
The groom finds the bride's garter | Source

My new experiment

Is simply this. This piece is entitled . . .

10 Ways For You Not to Be Evicted From Your Friend's Wedding Reception

and I did not see the purpose of telling all of you the definition of a wedding reception. You all have busy lives with things to do and kids to raise, so by me just going into my lecture will not just save you time, but save what I have left of my fingers.
Here goes.

Smile No Matter What - - even if there are people at the wedding reception who love to drink heavily and argue about the color of Jesus' eyes. A beaming smile on your face and no arguing will "take the wind from their sails" and leave you be.

Watch Your Alcohol - - consumption. Go to the wedding reception with a gameplan. Do not drink too much alcohol. That is the best game plan of all. Even if you are the "County Beer Guzzling Champ," five years running, remember that a wedding reception is not about you, but the happy couple who have just said their "I do's."

Have Cash Ready - - to discreetly hand to people who are frowning at you although you were invited by either the bride or groom. Money talks is more than an old saying. Just slip one of these would-be troublemakers a five-dollar bill and see if he will leave you alone.

Do Not Eat - - as if there will be no more food ever on Planet Earth. The friends of the happy wedded couple will soon notice that you have made six consecutive trips to the buffet table. Eat and drink in moderation.

Be Quick - - to work at being obscure, not the "life of the party." Sit in the dark shadows in the back of the reception room and enjoy your one brew and one plate of assorted meats and cheeses from "Gilbert's Grocery Galaxy."

If Asked To - - dance by the bride, do so in an humble manner, but let her outdo you with her slick, graceful dance moves. Her new husband, your best pal from years ago, will appreciate you not showing him up in front of his family and friends.

Be Very Passive - - with the hot bridesmaids. Some of these beauties drink more than a Navy SEAL on leave and can be very aggressive, so watch yourself when they see you are alone. If they do want to dance with you, agree and then do some slow dancing while telling them the dangers of drinking and driving. You will not be more popular by doing this, but you might save one life.

Absolutely Do Not - - take it on yourself (with or without alcohol) to do a one-man show even if you are the one the wedded couple asked to make the bridal toast. I know that the temptation is evident for you to crack wise and tell funny stories, but a simple heart-felt toast will more than suffice.

Be Helpful - - to those who you know cannot operate a motor vehicle. Volunteer to drive them home. Why not? You can be a good guy and help someone avoid a hefty traffic fine, jail time and having to head to "Driving School" for six Saturdays.

Have An - - "Accountability Partner" with you at this gala event. Just in case you fall prey to the temptation of "drinking like a fish," and showing your butt like a redneck. Have a good friend, male or female to keep a watch on you and before you act stupid, they can quietly walk over and take control of what you are about to do and sit down with you to have a plate of chicken casserole.

Question: Do you like or dislike this new style of hubbing? You may leave your answer in the Comment Boxes. Thanks a lot.

You will love this

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello, Chatty Chat,

      Thank you and I appreciate your time and input.

      If most people would follow a few of these tips, there would be more successful wedding receptions.

      Write me anytime.

    • Chatty Chat profile image

      Cindy 

      2 years ago from Planet Earth

      A very entertaining and informative article.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)