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10 Ways to Improve Your Marriage -- Things that Really Matter

Updated on September 23, 2012
Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Together forever?
Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Together forever? | Source

From the day we get married, we know we have to keep that flame alive. Kids will come and Sex life will have to be put aside... for later hours. That seven year itch will be looming on the horizon as expected and shown in movies.

There are so many factors involved in keeping this institution afloat, and it requires lots of commitment and responsibilities from both parties. But putting this chatting aside, how can we improve our marriage... and give it that extra boost? Cars need it, politician need it, so why not us?

We know from the start that we all are not born equal, and if you add sex to the equation, then you have a double task. So, how can we get better at this game of love, and its side effects? I didn't say collateral damage but it was evidently included in the question.

1) Accepting each other ways

Might sound like a cliche word, but is here for a reason: We start to unwrap this pandora box that was left aside after family came around. The only difference is that we take some load from the beginning and we concentrate on reloading ti with 'positive' gearing . We as couples saw the best of each other when we were dating, but living 24/7 and finding certain things out, might want you to revamp the relationship for fear of danger.

We were used to take our couples to the movies and then drop them at their parent's front door. This time you have to open the garage door and take the laundry inside. If you survived arguments and swallowed your pride, then you were on the solid right path to a successful marriage. Pride won't take you anywhere.

2) Help the other and never expect being rewarded

This is the antechamber of true loving. If your couple is struggling at something, like school, cooking or having a hard time raising those kids... then you know, you have to jump in and make your moves. Whe you fell in love it was for a reason. You wanted to love and be loved. Love always gives and don't expect nothing but love in return. Wow, so much love in two lines.

Your partner might not tell you, but she/he has been waiting for those special moments. We believe in passion after love, in hugs after love...and in kissing after done. 


3) Surprises

Is a shame how some couples, literally kill the relationship by not adding some surprising moments to it. Remember how this guy used to think about the roses behind his back, or the teddy bear under the passenger seat? Well, that was when he was playing the dating game. Once you are in, you sometimes feel that signing those papers, were not a good idea after all. But we believe deep in our hearts that love is still around, even though you have to kill yourself at work, you have enough neurons to get this love thing going... unless you are busier doing what you are not supposed to.

Surprises are the intrinsic catalyzers for a day. You need to propose yourself to look for those precious moments to surprise your couple. Just think how rewarding intimacy could become, if you think of surprising ideas to keep your better half interested in you and whatever comes after closing that door. Maybe a poem under her/his pillow? A text message with her real name and not the other woman,,,? You've got me? There is some brain on that head, and it cannot be so selfish! You know your spouse better than us, and we want you to make a list of 3 surprising moments for the day. We can give you a head-start:

  • Check our poetry and get the best catchy phrase to go with your rose
  • Clean the garage for her, and maybe cook one of our hubber's recipe... if you can.
  • You can 'photo-shop' a picture of both, or maybe go back to that treadmill together..!


4) Take that trip together

Get a babysitter for the kids. Save that 'sinking Titanic' for the sake of your kids that could suffer, if you ever think of a future divorce. It doesn't matter where you should eventually end up going. Just Google those "Your trip dot com' websites, and go for it. We know you are smart enough to check that google earth. Maybe take a second or a third honeymoon journey of a lifetime. Is funny how women read all these tips and agree with us. Don't worry cowboy, your lady will make you read us twice!

5) Increase that respect

Your couple might not ask for it, but a little of consideration, might rekindle that worn out and tiresome relationship. Just think about how vulnerable we really are. You can help around the house as we said. You had a mother who always wanted to be respected by your dad and did the best to raise you. Relationships are as fragil as those rose petals; the more you squeeze it, the more you can hurt the other part. And let me tell you this one: these tips are from the heart. We don't need to do more research, when we want you to be really succesful in your own commitment.

6) Support your spouse, even if they want to go back to school

Many couples got married and left behind a career. Probably your babies needed more than those 9 to 5 time frame. We suggest you to ask your couple, how would she/he feel, if they ever wanted to go back to school? You might be surprised by their answers. If you noticed a positive change in their mood, or those eyes started to shine, then we were right. Parenting takes its toll and we know it. However, dropping a word or two about this issue, won't hurt anyone. Actually she/he might've been putting if off for the longest. Raising a family is expensive and sadly have put so many careers on hold. Just use this rule: What can I do today, to make my husband/ wifer happier?

7) Make it fun

Get funny quotes from those websites. Send her an e-card. Upload a funny picture to her/his FaceBook. Just think how many ideas I can easily come up with. I don't want your spouse to fall for me, she is taken. As I said, be creative and go for it. Still funny how your couple can force you to read us twice...! Crack up some jokes and laugh together. So many tensions will released, it is actually unreal. You can send a card to the other woman as well : your beloved mom. Wait a minute, am I getting paid to make you smile?

8) Be that role model for the sake of your kids

We know kids can learn about life, and even before birth. Have you ever wonder why we love our parents so much? It's because of those sequential vivid moments from our childhood. As parents we have a tremendous responsibility in our hands. As a head of that cell of society, we are entitled to make thoughtful decisions. Kids don't ask for that trip for mars, not yet though... They want to see you as their eternal hero. Spouses fall in love again over and over, when you take care of the whole family and keep yourself in charge. You are already in, and that means it takes two to make it truly happen.

Your kids will remember every single move of yours in detail. Most of us in here, were kids, and can write stories that we can remember as tough they happened yesterday. Can you imagine that? For me that's really scary at times. I cannot even imagine my son writing about me in here... 20 years from now?

9) Intimacy

How can we write about it and not get banned? Probably we can be like AEvans, and use her smart wording.

If you have been married more than four years and think, maybe, probably, perhaps your sex life sucks, then you need help for real. We make suggestions in here, simple as that. We cannot test the product as salesmen for our own benefit.

Sex is a like a teenager. It's waiting for you to use your imagination. Young generations get bored easily and can walk away on you any minute. So, if you haven't been taking care of business and your spouse is not saying anything...? You better star watching those Sex and the City re-runs. Sex is crucial in your marriage. Is like the water for the flowers. Furthermore, is like the oil for your engine. If you haven't check the oil level lately, then the heat might be showing up in another car's dashboard. How do I know all these? Common sense.

I wish I could be more graphic, but there you have those counselors and Kamasutra books with wonderful 'positions' for that job. You need to re apply though.

Women are romantic to death. If you want, you can look for that Victoria's Secret Master card, that you put away 10 years ago, and buy some exciting lingerie. Seafood recipes make wonders when you want to reach the final frontier. Be bolder as no man has been before.

10) Thank the maker for your family... and your marriage

This is really overlooked, and is a shame. From movies like "Is a wonderful life" to chick flicks with no sense, we as humans look for moving stories. Spirituality is a must deep inside. Giving birth is one of the biggest miracles. Love is just a gift from our creator, and we need to thank him for what we are. I'm not preaching in here at all; It's just reality. How many of us want our parents to be in our lives forever? How can we see our spouse as beautiful as before with this miracle called vision? Who eventually decided your union? Maybe fate? Is there a stronger reason for us to get marry, besides sex and love? I don't need to be a philosopher or a theologist to advice you in these matters. Just keep Love alive and kicking.



Submit a Comment

  • DDE profile image

    Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

    A marriage deserves all that and more most marriages are by choice and if one is unable to accept their partner in their marriage they should move on. Helpful and informative.

  • Lord De Cross profile image

    Joseph De Cross 6 years ago

    Dave Mathews, you are so right. Nowadays young generations take that commitment lightly, and the consequences come down on them. You did add a very important thought.

    I hear you Jackie Linnley,

    Oh Joan..! She and her daughter might have to interview them both. Kurt is really the man!


    Wow! 1967 the year of the apollo 8. You are certainly right! Marriage involved family and sacrifices. Congrats! on your marriage.

    @ Alipucket,

    Like your banners and your statements! Surprises are..and make a huge difference in a couple's lives. I bet you would love to improve your relationship...!


  • alipuckett profile image

    alipuckett 6 years ago

    I love your idea about surprises! Even something little makes a huge impact!

  • tillsontitan profile image

    Mary Craig 6 years ago from New York

    We need to be eternal heros! Not only to our kids but to each other. Vacations are nice but it's the little day to day things that matter. Knowing when a break is necessary, knowing when to jump in and when to stay out. From the beginning "accepting" is so very important. That flirtatious boyfriend/girlfriend can turn into a humdrum husband/wife very quickly...don't let that happen....your advice is so right. Lastly, as you close your hub, thank the almighty. God gave us all we have including our wonderful relationships/marriages. (married 45 years) Voted up. Thanks for SHARING.

  • Jackie Lynnley profile image

    Jackie Lynnley 6 years ago from The Beautiful South

    Yes I have seen her and very impressive. Whatever she is doing Joan Rivers should check it out. My laugh for the day, lol.

  • Dave Mathews profile image

    Dave Mathews 6 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

    lord de cross: Marriage is not and has never been just a licence for two people to sleep together for some fun sex, but that is usually the only thing in the back of the minds of most marrying these days. They totally forget the promises they made before each other before witnesses and before God, especially "Till death do you part." As soon as the ceremony is over its off to have fun.

  • Lord De Cross profile image

    Joseph De Cross 6 years ago

    Just ask Susan,

    We are happy for you. By teling us or leaking us some info... we can tell, you guys are going to last in your relationship. Have a good one!


    @ A.A. Zavala, Good point brother; you don't need to be blound by a piece of paper, but some women feel more secure with it. Just saying, you know?


    @ Adventure Colorad,

    Welcome to hubpages. Good to see you commenting! These tips are common sense advice, but some just overlook the essence of the matter. Thanks!

    @ Cardisa, I hear you Carolee! Those uninvited friends are always around...sort of 'chupacabras' with the thirst of a free ride. Hope you and your couple get your vacation together soon. Don't you think so?


    @ Jackie Linnley,

    Have known them forever. Kurt used to be on TV, when Disneyland would present those terrific shows like Lassie. They must've found a good way of keeping that flame alive. Goldie is in good shape by the way. So there might be a secret behind all that sex appeal.


  • Jackie Lynnley profile image

    Jackie Lynnley 6 years ago from The Beautiful South

    Some very good tips. I love Goldie and Kurt, great choice. I picture them laughing every day.

  • Cardisa profile image

    Carolee Samuda 6 years ago from Jamaica

    Very Good, Lord. My spouse and I have never taken a vacation together because we have animals that cost a lot of money and our Jamaican country boys are known for stealing goats, so we have put off some of the fun activities until we can figure a safe way to leave our animals even for one night.

  • Adventure Colorad profile image

    Adventure Colorad 6 years ago from Denver,CO

    Excellent tips, if only more people would take the time to work on their marriage!

  • A.A. Zavala profile image

    Augustine A Zavala 6 years ago from Texas

    All these are good points. The image used for the hub is of Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. They've never been formally married, so is their relationship successful because they aren't?

  • Just Ask Susan profile image

    Susan Zutautas 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

    The only thing on your list that we are lacking in our marriage is #4. Not out of choice but other reasons. Excellent hub LORD!


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