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10 Ways to Keep Your Spouse Happy

Updated on July 13, 2018

As Time Goes By, You Have to Work Harder to Keep Your S.O. Happy.

We all know how relationships start out, there's that little "spark," that gives you butterflies. You feel warm all over, enamored with the very idea of your new boyfriend or girlfriend. Every moment is spent with the one you love, showering each other with gifts and tokens of appreciation. Then, something happens.

The spark begins to fizzle out.

Suddenly, the relationship isn't as magical or as exciting as it used to be. You're starting to bicker and argue more, and hanging out together just doesn't feel the same anymore. A part of you starts to feel like maybe this relationship isn't right for either one of you. The problem is, you love this person and you aren't even sure where your love for one another became so complicated.

This is a normal, and common situation for most, if not all couples.

Don't worry, you're not alone. Relationships take work, patience, and understanding if you hope to remain with your significant for a long period of time. One major reason relationships fail is that couples stop showing each other that they care, and appreciate one another. If you live together, this is especially important to keep your spouse happy.

Sometimes we go through more than just a rough patch, some couples do find that they have irreconcilable differences. However, if you believe there is hope for your relationship, and you're not ready to give up the person you love, the tips below can help you get you back on track.

1. Compliment Each Other Often.

When you first got together, you and your boyfriend or girlfriend probably couldn't get enough of each other. You were constantly telling one another how much you loved their personality, how different they were from other people you know, and how attractive you found them.

After awhile, it becomes less and less often that we offer a kind word to our girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, or wife. This can often lead to feelings of insecurity and doubt in the other person's mind about how you feel toward them. You can never go wrong with just saying "that looks nice on you" or "I like your hair that way." It makes a big difference, and makes your significant other feel valued.

2. Don't Stop Giving Gifts and Small Tokens of Affection.

Valentines Day isn't the only time of the year to shower your spouse with attention, you should do it just because! Sometimes it's good to know that your loved one is thinking of you, and you can remind them that you do in non-verbal ways. This doesn't mean that you have to take them out on an extravagant date or spend a whole paycheck on a piece of jewelry.

Gifts don't have to be expensive.

Pick some wild flowers, cook them a meal, or leave them a cute note, just put a smile on their face. Go to CVS or Walgreens, print out a few of your favorite photos together, and glue them to an empty card. This costs less than $10 and only takes a few minutes.

It seems cheesy, but your special someone will love it.

3. Spend More Time Apart

When you get used to being around each other all the time, it can get pretty irritating. It doesn't mean that you don't them, it's just that we're human beings. While we are social creatures, we all need our own personal time and space. When you're fighting and nit picking at each other constantly, you might try to fix it by spending even more time together.

Spending too much time together can backfire.

I'm no psychologist, and certainly not a marriage counselor, but I can tell you from personal experience...even couples get tired of each other. Your boyfriend's habits didn't bother you when your relationship was only 6 weeks old, but 2 years later you really start to feel like you just can't stand him; every single thing he does gets on your nerves. Your girlfriend's shedding, counter full of makeup, and monthly mood swings are starting to drive you nuts.

If any of this rings a bell with you, you should know you aren't alone. You don't have to break things off with your significant other, just sit down and talk about it. After a few weeks of seeing each other less, you'll start to miss them again.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

4. Focus On Your Individual Goals and Needs.

When you're not on good terms, your mind easily moves into a negative state.You start to think about all the bad times and wonder if you're really happy. In some instances, there may be a serious underlying issue that needs to be resolved. However, sometimes we just need to take a step back and start focusing on ourselves.

Read more, sharpen a new skill, do something that helps you redirect your energy toward bettering yourself. Either you’ll find a way to make it work with your signifcant other, or you’ll find a way to move on.

5. Take a Road Trip.

If you‘re able, try to take time off work, let’s say a week. Pick a destination, set up a hotel reservation and spend some time on the road. Go somewhere that makes you fee care free and have a good time.

6. Be Clear and Honest About Your Feelings.

When things aren’t going well, the worst thing you can do is bottle it up. While you shouldn’t dwell on bad feelings, that doesn’t mean they don’t need to be expressed.

Always say what’s on your mind, but try to be as courteous and respectful about it as possible. This can be difficult if you’re still very heated from an argumen. Take time to cool off and address the problem.

7. Never Leave An Argument Unresolved.

When you‘re attempting to convey your thoughts in a respectful way, it doesn’t always go as planned. Initially your spouse might respond defensively, and as we know misunderstandings can become serious disagreements in a hurry.

If the conversation does go south, dont escalate, walk away until things settle down. Then revisit the subject, leaving the problem unresolved only results in resentment.

8. Do The Things Your Partner Enjoys Doing, Even If You Don't.

Even if you and your spouse are just alike from the food you enjoy to your taste in movies and music, there are going to be differences no matter what. You won't always want to do the same things that your significant other wants to do for fun.

Guess what? You have to.

Okay, you don't have to, but if you really love the person you're with, you should at least try. Let's pretend your boyfriend loves football, and you have zero interest in the subject whatsoever. He brings home 2 NFL tickets for you and wants to watch his favorite team play. Just grin, bear it, and go! Who knows, you just might have a good time.

If you're girlfriend wants to take you to an art museum, but you know you'll be bored out of your skull, just go. It's an hour to an hour and a half of your time, and she wants to share something she enjoys with you.

Now, if they ask to go streaking through a street crowd, that's definitely something you can refuse to do on all occasions. As long as it's reasonable, try to make an effort.

9. Admit When You're Wrong.

We all know that when we make a mistake, the right thing to do is to step up and own it. The thing is, that's often easier said than done in relationships. In the heat of the moment when a person feels embarrassed or hurt by a situation, it can be difficult to put your pride away, especially with simple misunderstandings.

Let's say you came home from work feeling exhausted, hungry, and in a terrible mood. Then, your spouse does something to further aggravate you without realizing the impact it may have had on an already bad day. You snap at them, raise your voice or say hurtful things.

This scenario happens all the time, we've all done it. Once you've cooled off though, you need to pick up the pieces and make things

10. Say "I Love You" As Often As You Can.

When you've been with someone for months or years, you get used to living life on your own while the other person is at work or out somewhere. You go to the grocery store, the gym, work, and school, all the while knowing that you'll get to see your significant other at home later on.

The truth is, once we've parted ways with our loved ones, we never know what's around the corner. You can never say "I love you" too many times, it's a daily reminder that life is short and that we should appreciate the people we love while they're with us.


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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      20 months ago from Chicago

      Avoid doing a "bait & switch"!

      During the "infatuation phase" of a new relationship or marriage oftentimes people bend over backwards to impress and please one another. Conversation and laughter comes easily, cards and token gifts are given "just because", sex if off the charts, and the word "no" is seldom if ever used because no one wants to risk doing or saying anything that may turn the other person off. It's only natural for an inexperienced dater to believe he or she has met their "soulmate".

      However once there is an "emotional investment" or "commitment" people start to feel it's (safe) to reveal their "authentic selves" without the (fear) of losing them.

      It's almost a cliché to hear someone say:

      "He/she is not the same person I fell in love with."

      Gradually they stop doing all the things that caused their mate to fall in love with them.

      When we change our circumstances change.

      All the tips you're giving and advice often given to couples to keep the magic alive are all things they naturally did in the beginning!

      Love is like a garden. Nurture it, it thrives: Neglect it, it dies.

      It's easier to maintain a fire than it is to reignite a spark!

    • dredcuan profile image

      Travel Chef 

      20 months ago from California

      You created the best list ever! I totally agree with everything listed above. Overall, I think the best thing to keep the love burning between partners is to stay friends. I believe that if I no longer understand my partner in an intimate relationship level, I need to understand my partner at a friendship level. This approach will help set boundaries in our relationship like giving my partner some time to go out with friends.


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