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10 easy ways to improve your marriage

Updated on April 23, 2012

So your marriage isn't what it used to be? The good news is you are not alone. Many people find themselves wondering how things got the way they did. This is a simple list of easy ideas to help you reconnect with your spouse. LOVE is spelled TIME. These tips will help your marriage become all you ever wanted it to be.

1. Date Night- Yeah, you've heard it before, but it works. Take the time to plan a date for just the two of you. Your marriage is worth a night out. Invest in a good restaurant and a great activity. Find a babysitter, book a hotel room, or even go out of town. Taking the initiative to try to make things better is the first step to restoring your marriage.

2. once a week talks (serious talks). I hope you talk often, but how often do you seriously talk about where your marriage is, and where you'd like it to be. Often our spouse would love to make the necessary changes if we'd clue them in as to what we want. These talks may not always be pleasant, but they will lead to real solutions.

3. Doing something special for your spouse (for no reason). Buy her jewelry. Send him a thoughftul text. Bring home their favorite takeout. Sometimes a small gesture can go a long way when we are trying to rebuild trust, love and relationships.

4. Be Honest at all times. If your marriage is rocky at best, there is no room for dishonesty. If your marriage is great, there is no room for dishonesty. When you lie to your spouse about anything big or small, you break the most critical component to your marriage: trust.

5. Take a weekend to do whatever your spouse's favorite activity is. If she loves shopping, go with her. If he loves fishing, go with him. Your marriage needs time together. The easiest way to spend time together is doing what you each love together.

6. Stop trying to change them and start changing yourself. This is tough. We had an idea of what our spouse would be, look like, act like etc when we were young. Today you may not find yourself with what you thought you married. STOP trying to change them. Begin with yourself. How can you improve your role. We all have inadequacies. It's so easy to see their inconsistencies, but they see ours too.

7. Never say the D Word. Divorce isn't for you. Here's how I know. You took the time to ggole ways to save your marriage. If you want to save your marriage, you can. That's not to say it'll be easy or quick (nothing of value is easily or quickly attained). Drill it into your head. We won't talk about divorce. It's not an option for us or our family.

8. Seek cousel. You don't have to spend thousands of dollars for an expensive therapist. There are tons of options out there. Many churches offer free marriage counselling. Pastors spend countless hours counselling husbands and wives of all ages and backgrounds. Don't assume it will be embarrassing. Churches are empty on a tuesday night. Nobody will know or judge you, and if they do, you don't want them in your life. Seeking help shows strength, not weakness.

9. Never criticize your spouse. Don't tell everyone that embarrassing story that underlines their inability in a certain area. Don't tell your mom how awful your wife's cooking is. Your spouse wants to know they can trust you with all of their failures. Instead of criticizing, start highlighting their successes. Everyone loves someone that brags on them.

10. Hug, Kiss, and touch often. Give each other the attention you know you crave. Humans desire attention and affection. Your spouse will look for both anywhere they can get it, if they aren't getting it from you. Often when we are mad we think holding back will teach them a lesson. However this can drive our spouse straight to someone else. Am I saying you should kiss right after he criticizes you? No. Use your head, but open your heart.

I hope these tips help you and your spouse rediscover the marriage you both desire. Sometimes things don't turn out like we planned. Life is full of surprises, but that can be a good thing.

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