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- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
10 Things You Should Never Say To a Woman
Look guys, we all know that women can be difficult to figure out. That said, there is no reason to make a rookie mistake when speaking to the fairer sex. There are a few things that should simply be off limits when talking with your ladies. Here are 10 things you should never say to a woman.
1. Are you putting on weight
No brainer, right? You might be surprised to know that men will fall into this trap fairly often. You begin to get very comfortable and suddenly the darndest things pop out of your mouth. You may think she has put on a few pounds, but don't dare say it. Not only will she be furious with you,. but you can be sure she will immediately run and tell her friends as she asks them whether you are right. If you are about to fall into this trap, take a breath and ask whether she would like to go to the gym with you. She will appreciate the time together, and you will both be a little more fit.
2. I don't like your friends
Look, she picked her friends, she loves her friends, and your criticism will be viewed as a direct indictment of her. If you question her judgment in choices of friends, shouldn't you also question her judgment with regard to her choice of a boyfriend? Next time just say "we should expand our social circle and meet some new couples." This approach is far more innocuous, and suggests that the two of you are growing in a life together.
3. My Ex used to ...
No you didn't... Never, ever, ever compare your current miss to your former miss (at least not verbally). There may have been things that you liked about that former flame, but your current lady doesn't need to hear about it. Think about this for a moment, do you really want to hear that her previous boyfriend was much better at (fill in the blank). Of course not. You are with her now, so don't even bring up your past relationships. No good can come of it.
4. You are smart for a girl
Well that was a backhanded compliment. How about, "You are smart" and leave it there. Any complement followed by a qualifier isn't really a complement. If you go down this road, why not just say "hey honey, you are in a relationship with a sexist" and leave it at that. If you really believe that girls aren't a smart as men, you probably need to do some work on yourself before you find that next love.
5. This is why women shouldn't drive
Kind of similar to the previous stupid statement. What exactly are you hoping to accomplish by insulting her entire gender?
6. You sound just like our mother
This one is so wrought with danger that you should never even think about saying it. In all likelihood, when you say this, you are pointing out something that she finds incredible annoying about her mom. As a result, you have accomplished two things, first, you are bringing up baggage that should probably stay packed, and second just hit her well below the belt. We are all human and we all have our idiosyncrasies, but we don't generally want those pointed out. This one will put you in the doghouse for longer than you can imagine
7. Is it that time of the month
Ok, so maybe it is. Even if it is, do you really want to start that fight?
8. You look great for your age
If you haven't figured out that women are "aware" of their age, then you may not be observant enough for a relationship. Yes, we can all look better (or worse) than our chronological age, but why would you qualify your otherwise great complement. Just say you look great and leave it there. Tacking on the "for your age" ruins the complement and may very well ruin your night as well.
9. What's wrong
Guys, we all know we should never ask this question and yet we continue to do so. Generally speaking when we get to the point of asking the question, we have a pretty good idea that something actually is wrong. Here is the thing, we are going to get one of two answers. Answer one, "If you don't know, I am certainly not going to tell you." You have just stepped into a no win here. Clearly you don't really know what you did or you wouldn't be asking the question. The danger here, is that if you guess what you did, you will probably volunteer something that has nothing to do with the current situation, and you will expose yet another infraction. The second possible answer is, "nothing is wrong." So here you are, knowing full well that something is wrong and now you have been baited into further questions. There will be a fight once this back and forth starts, so just avoid it.
The next time something is clearly wrong, try asking if there is anything you can do to make her day better. Maybe grab her a cup of coffee and mention that you could tell something was on her mind and you thought the latte` might make her feel better. This will reset the anger and you can work through the issue with a conversation rather than a fight.
10. Are you going to eat ALL of that?
This may come as a shock, but women worry about their weight. Millions and millions of home workout products are sold each year in pursuit of feminine perfection. When you make any statement that can be construed as critical of her eating habits you are attacking her at a very personal level. You just have to understand that women are wired differently and live with it. If she occasionally goes hog wild on a meal, that is her prerogative, and you are best to just shut you moth and ask for a bite.
At the end of the day, women are not quite as complicated as we might think. They are just different than men and a thoughtful approach to how you treat them will go a long way in making life better for both of you.