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100 White Lies Men Tell Women

Updated on April 18, 2016
Source

Small White Lies

Men and women lie all the time, but in this article it's all about the little white lies men tell women whether it be a friend, a girlfriend, a spouse, or even their own mother.

Many of these are exaggerated and aren't meant to be serious, but they do happen and I'm sure you know at least one person who has said some of these lies.

In fact, I bet there are worse examples that you've heard before that aren't on this list. Keeping that in mind, there's no need to get offended because a lot of these apply to women as well so chill.

100 Excuses Women Use to Reject Men

Anyway let's break it down and give a shout out to all the men who may have used at least a few of these "white lies" (spoiler: they've all done it).

White Lies 100-91

Nobody really wants someone stick skinny right?
Nobody really wants someone stick skinny right? | Source

Let the Countdown Begin

100.
Baby, I love you
99.
I would never cheat on you
98.
I promise I'll call you tomorrow
97.
Yeah I was gonna go, but I got this awful headache
96.
Sure I'll pick (insert child's name here) from school
95.
You look so beautiful
94.
Have you lost weight?
93.
You're so skinny
92.
No you don't look fat, stop it
91.
I won't have any drinks tonight
 
 

White Lies 90-81

We're really good friends
We're really good friends | Source

The Lies Keep Building

90.
I'll just be gone for a few minutes
89.
No I'm not engaged/married
88.
I've never seen this woman before in my life
87.
That's not my Tinder profile
86.
Why would I ever use Grindr, I'm straight
85.
Of course I'm not gay
84.
I left my wallet at home
83.
She only needed my help and nothing more
82.
I was just giving her a ride
81.
My parents? No they live very far away from here

White Lies 80-71

This Isn't on My iPod

Keep it Going

80.
I have my own home/apartment
79.
My Mercedes is in the shop getting repairs
78.
I barely drink at parties; I'll only have one drink
77.
I didn't know she was underage
76.
You know I would take a bullet for you
75.
I'd do anything for you
74.
No I don't listen to Katy Perry
73.
Why would I ever like Lady Gaga
72.
I hate chick flicks so much
71.
I've never seen (insert chick flick film here)

White Lies 70-61

See you look fine without makeup
See you look fine without makeup | Source

Tired Yet?

70.
I can't stand women who dress like that, it's disgusting
69.
I would never look at another woman
68.
No I wasn't looking; I had something in my eye
67.
I love flat chested women; they are so confident
66.
I work out like all the time at the gym
65.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call; I was on my run
64.
You look so pretty in the morning
63.
Stop, you look amazing without any makeup
62.
Me and my ex haven't talked in forever
61.
Me and my ex-wife have been divorced for a while

White Lies 60-51

It ain't easy pretending to be, I mean being a doctor
It ain't easy pretending to be, I mean being a doctor | Source

Almost Halfway There

60.
I don't have any children
59.
Did you know that I was a doctor/lawyer?
58.
Oh yeah I graduated from college
57.
He's not my friend, he's a jerk
56.
I would never act like that guy
55.
Most guys are so immature; I'm the complete opposite
54.
Feminism? I support it 100 percent
53.
Yeah I would quit my job and watch the kids while you're working
52.
I support every decision you make
51.
You have a dog/cat? I'm a huge pet lover

White Lies 50-41

Don't Ignore the Signs

Okay I'll Be Honest

50.
Your hair looks really great
49.
You dyed your hair? Wow, I love it
48.
That outfit makes you look so thin
47.
Please stop! I don't find your friend attractive
46.
I love all of your girlfriends; they're so nice
45.
I'm too old for video games; they're so juvenile
44.
Why would you think I got arrested before
43.
I've never been tipsy while driving
42.
I'd rather get to know you first
41.
Getting intimate is the last thing on my mind

White Lies 40-31

I swear it wasn't me!
I swear it wasn't me! | Source

No More White Lies

40.
Me a virgin? That's a good one
39.
I've only been with like two girls my entire life
38.
Yeah I get around (yeah right)
37.
I love kids, and I love being around them
36.
I'm a total family man
35.
I would never watch that filthy trash
34.
No I wasn't on those sites; it was one of my friends
33.
I can't meet your parents today; I have the flu
32.
Why would anyone spend so much money on something so dumb
31.
This new laptop? I got it really cheap and barely spent anything

White Lies 30-21

OK, I'll just come back to work tomorrow then
OK, I'll just come back to work tomorrow then | Source

Please Don't Hurt Me!

30.
I've been working on that diet this whole week
29.
I haven't had any pizza; you know I care about my health
28.
We're not lost at all, and I don't need to ask for directions
27.
We don't need to call anyone, I can fix this myself easily
26.
Well I would say I'm above average in that department
25.
Women have told me in the past that I'm amazing
24.
I don't have an anger problem
23.
I've never been to therapy/counseling
22.
Fired? No I decided to quit this horrible job
21.
The boss loves me; I'll probably get a raise soon

White Lies 20-11

With this ring, I...wait what?
With this ring, I...wait what? | Source

I Don't Wanna Sleep There

20.
No I don't work at Taco Bell; I'm a manager
19.
I make six to seven figures annually
18.
My parents are very wealthy
17.
Looks don't mean anything to me
16.
Yes I'd love to marry you one day
15.
You want that ring? Yeah of course I can afford it
14.
You're pregnant! That's fantastic
13.
Oh you're not pregnant, that's okay don't worry
12.
I didn't know she was your sister/mother
11.
You are such a good mother

White Lies 10-1

You Still Love Me Right, Right.....Hello?

10.
That's nasty, who would burp or fart in public
9.
Marley & Me didn't make me cry; I had allergies
8.
I could probably bench like 300 or 350 no problem
7.
I love your family; they are the best
6.
I don't care if you've never been intimate before
5.
You've had how many boyfriends? Oh that's okay it doesn't bother me
4.
Money doesn't mean a thing to me
3.
The only thing I care about is personality
2.
This game is the most important event of the year
1.
You're right; this game isn't that important

Are There More Lies?

Well that's a pretty lengthy list, but there are so many additional lies that could've been added on. Seriously some of the lies I've heard people mention are creative and impressive. They've turned it into an art form (an immoral art form).

So do you agree with this list? Have you ever told one of those lies before and if so, did you get away with it?

If you did, then count your blessings because women aren't fools. They will find out and get you eventually; you'll probably pay for it in the morning or at night with your back aching from sleeping on that old couch downstairs.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this list and once again don't take any of these "lies" too seriously because it's not meant to be taken offensively. Well thanks for reading if you did, and have a pleasant, honest (or dishonest) day.

The Truth Lies Beneath

What's the worst thing to lie about?

See results

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    • kbdressman profile image

      kbdressman 2 years ago from Harlem, New York

      Too funny! I think you forgot a few though:

      "I'm over my ex."

      "Of course you can finish your degree even if we get married."

      "I'm sorry."

      "I swear that was the last time."

      "I'm not interested."

    • AndrewHil93 profile image

      Andrew Hill 2 years ago from Leicester, United Kingdom

      LOL @ "I swear I'm not gay!"

      I'm always telling my misses this one, it isn't a lie though. ;)

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Great hub Chris. Pretty extensive ist but there are so many lies it's impossible to cover them all. I admit to using a couple..in a good way..or intentionally so :)

    • Chriswillman90 profile image
      Author

      Krzysztof Willman 2 years ago from Parlin, New Jersey

      Thank you and I agree those are a few gems. I can't believe I forgot "I'm sorry", that has to be the biggest one on there.

    • Chriswillman90 profile image
      Author

      Krzysztof Willman 2 years ago from Parlin, New Jersey

      There are probably 1000's of lies out there so I agree. Well as long as it's used in a good way then by all means lol.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image

      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      This is a pretty funny list. And a painful one when it brings back memories of lies told. I dated a guy for months and he never told me he had an ex-wife and child. Now someone has to do the lies women tell.

    • Chriswillman90 profile image
      Author

      Krzysztof Willman 2 years ago from Parlin, New Jersey

      Thank you and that's awful and way up there with the worst of the lies. It would be an interesting contrast between the lies men versus women could tell.

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 24 months ago from Home Sweet Home

      wow, almost 50% of them are common phrase use by men!

    • Chriswillman90 profile image
      Author

      Krzysztof Willman 24 months ago from Parlin, New Jersey

      I've definitely heard many of these too to the point where they've become cliches of themselves.

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