- Gender and Relationships
11 People You Shouldn't Date
Do you know?
- That there is one case of divorce in every 36seconds in America?
- Married people have a higher life expectancy than people who are single or divorced?
- Statistics show that men have 48% chance to fall in love faster than women (28%) at first sight?
- The richer the couple are, the more likely they are to fight often?
Whatever relationship you may be into, the bottom-line is for you to wake up every morning with joy in your heart. The chief reason is for you to be happy! Every living thing has the instinctive tendency to move from places of displeasure to places where they find pleasure. If happiness is not what you are getting from the relationship you are in, then you may want to consider a breakup! Everybody deserves to be happy, you inclusive! When you see these signs, you should peach your tent far from the sight of displeasure!
A friend was hurting badly because his girl told him she was done. Now, that was not the problem! Breakups are periods most of us have experienced. The issue was her reason when I asked her if she could give him another chance. My conversation with her established that it was time my friend moved on. She said she didn’t want the relationship in the first place and that she had to stoop down very low to accommodate him into her life. As far as she was concerned, he wasn't good enough for her and they should not be seen together. Why would someone even do that? Never date a person who feels he is doing you a favour by dating you. They make you feel worthless and paint a picture that nobody else can date or marry you! They make you feel you are unfortunate and that they were created to help you out of your misery. Narcissistic traits may even be a psychiatric disorder! Never allow anyone to steal your joy, never date anyone who thinks he or she is there as your only helper! If the person you are dating makes you feel cheap, useless or good for nothing, he is not for you, YOU SHOULD LEAVE!
It’s hardly possible for two people to be in a relationship and not have offences. Offences may not be in repeated occurrences in a healthy relationship but they are normal and sometimes they may even build stronger bonds after the issue had been dealt with. There are people who seem to be interested in your errors. They keep a record of the many times you have offended them and remind you each time of the same. You feel bad when they do that because you thought that you two had passed beyond that issue. They repeatedly peel your healed scars each time you offend or do something wrong. The truth is, you will always do something wrong (because you are human and to err is human) and you will always be reminded how wicked you have been. Stay with them and remain unhappy, or take your leave and secure your happiness!
It’s okay to influence your mate but when you are undertaking a deliberate attempt to change your mate, something is wrong. I was in a relationship in which the girl repeatedly made me know that my head was balding. I didn’t choose to be bald, in fact, I didn’t like it. She insisted I had all my hairs shaved every three days. In order to please her, I did just that! True Love allows your lover to accept you the very way you are, he doesn’t try to manage you, he doesn’t try to change what you look like and he just accepts you the way you are. If you want to change your mate by all means (even if you think it's for their good), you are no longer a lover, you are a manipulator...and that is not love, it is witchcraft! If your mate cannot accept you the way you are, then he is not meant for you!
You are madly in love with someone but just before you made your move, you realized they were going through a major episode of pain. Hey! Before you go ahead, you need to know that it’s not okay to date someone who is still hurting. It is a lost cause! At the end of the day, you will be heart broken. Allow her(him) to heal, allow her to come out of her shell again and then you can make your move. It is not as if she will turn you down if you make your move right away, she may even say yes but you will be dating the wrong person. Wrong in the sense that that person is going through a psychological crisis. A wounded person is an attention seeking person and an emotionally vulnerable person! You will never know her true nature until she becomes healed. When that happens, it will seem to you that she changed but she never did, she merely got healed! It’s okay to care for her during this period but never let your emotions get too much involved until after her period of healing.
The Wet Blanket
Ever met someone who seems to enjoy boring holes in other people's bubbles? This is the wet-blanket! They belittle your dreams, make a mockery of your aspirations and tell you that your goals are not possible. They don’t bother to see the possibilities of what you are trying to do, they just rule you out. If you marry them, your dreams and aspirations are as good as dead. When someone you love makes recommendations about your ability or gives you a path on the back as you pursue your dreams, it goes a long way in encouraging you and energizing you to see those dreams come true! In the same way, if all you hear from the one you love are echoes of impossibilities, you will hardly have the zeal to get started! The sad thing about the wet-blanket is that, their actions and words are not aimed directly at making you feel bad or destroying your dreams,they are simply negative and pessimistic by nature! A lot of them develop this nature through the kind of experiences they went through as kids! You can’t change them!
Everything is all about them! They want the sex whenever they want it whether you share the feelings or not. They are in the relationship for what they can get and not what they can give! Love is about giving! You can give without loving but you can never love without giving. As a matter of fact, the proof that you are in love is in your giving! You give everything: your time, your peace, material, money, advice, listening ears e.t.c. You simply give! Where all you are doing is receiving and not giving, you are not in love, you are in something else! Run away from such people who want to take advantage of the love you have for them! Love is a mutual give-give relationship between two people. Where there is Give ‘n’ Take relationship, it is parasitic! Soon, the relationship will end when the giver has nothing more to give!
The Never Wrong
From their name, you already know them, they are never wrong! They are always right! Apart from this, their partner is always the wrong party in any dispute! They never own their own problems because the problem is always caused by someone else and if you are their wife or husband, you are always the “someone else”. If the relationship is not working, it will never be their fault because they have been flawless in doing their own part! When you date this type of people, it will always be from one misunderstanding to the other, happiness is short lived and there are more days spent in sadness!
Someone Who Loves Another
Sometimes we face odd situations in life and we just wonder how crazy the world could be. You are in love with someone who doesn’t love you but loves another. I have been in this situation before! She loved me but my heart was with another! It’s a lost cause! As impossible as the situation is, the one in love will try to do whatever necessary to make him lover her! There is nothing you can do to win in this situation! It’s a win-lose scenario. If you find yourself loving someone who loves someone else, just walk away unless you want to be the side-chick! But why would you want to be a side-chick when you can be the main chick for someone else who truly loves you?
The Obsessively Jealous
There is jealousy in love and it’s okay for your man or your lady to exhibit some jealousy especially when someone seems to be encroaching! But when the jealousy becomes a monitoring one, it transcends the borders of normalcy. Obsessive jealousy breeds distrust and distrust breeds many more things that will cripple the relationship faster than a physical fight! There is healthy jealousy and there is unhealthy jealousy. Unhealthy jealousy makes you check his phone to see who called, who he had been with while you were away, makes you want to have his social media login information and makes you unnecessarily want to shield him from the world! It is not healthy and it will eventually kill the relationship. There have been reports of people being killed by their lovers out of obsessive jealousy. When you see the signs of obsessive jealousy, please run as fast as you can, you don't even need to breakup in person, you can do that through a phone conversation from several miles apart.