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11 Reasons You Stay in a Relationship You Should Let Go off

Updated on June 22, 2017

It can be quite difficult to come to terms that a relationship is failing, about to end or just over. But some people keep on hanging on in spite of the obstacles. In some cases it is worth it, but in others it is time to let go. Why do people some people keep holding on to the person although a normal relationship is not evident, here are some reasons.

1. You love him/her- Their love and feelings for the person has clouded your judgment of what is taking place, what you value, the qualities you were originally looking for and how you should be treated, respected and appreciated.

2. You want to be in love with the person you wished he or she was and they are longing for the relationship they hoped they can have. - but in reality, he/she is not that person.

3. You are waiting around and hoping because you believe he is going to change OR he/she made you a lot of promises to change, but has not taken any real action.

4. Another reason, You believe you can Change him/her.

No one can change another individual. We can offer our opinion to him/her, suggest they do things but the decision is really up to the person. They have to see the need for change, desire to change and really want to. It is not wise to take on this responsibility. We should work only on changing ourselves and seeing the areas of our lives that needs improvement.

5. You Do Not Feel you Deserve a Better Person

This sort of thinking can be from words spoken from loved ones like you were no good, ugly, or you do not do anything right, who is ever going to love you, lack of acceptance from peers, or a pattern of other bad relationships. So you settle and believe as long as you are in a relationship with someone that's good enough for them, no matter what happens.

6. Fear - fear of being alone, fear of what their lives would be like without this person, fear that no one else would want them, fear of what the person might do them, fear of letting go, fear of the unknown, fear of going out and seeing who’s out there. If this is you, do not let fear stop, paralyze you from making a life changing situation. Understand that there are better things and people for you.

7. Because This is all you know and you Don’t Know Better Than This.

For most of your life, you have witnessed family members stay in relationships, where there is abuse, drugs, control, manipulation, selfishness, lack of love, appreciation and respect and that is all you know. What is viewed as normal for them is actually abnormal. What you can do to break this mindset and pattern is find real married couples who truly demonstrate love, care and respect one another.

8. You have a great physical relationship, but that's all.

Sex can be very powerful. It can keep two people together for long time when nothing else would. As a result, neither individuals have come to a realization that they only have something physical, but no real relational connection where one gets to know things about the other person.

9. Because of Unmet needs in childhood.

When emotional needs are not met in childhood from parents, whether it is love, affirmation, encouragement, significance, a person looks to a romantic relationship to meet their needs. The relationship is more need based than on building a relationship based on shared values, commitment, working through conflicts, trust and character.

10. Guilt- If this person at first have given them money, helped them through hard times, they feel a sense of responsibility to them, so they feel guilty to leave them of what they have done for them in the past. But in reality, things are not how they were at the beginning.

11. You love the lifestyle- in your heart you know there is no relationship, love or genuine affection, but you love the money, gifts, possessions, and the material things that the individual provides.

© 2014 Janellegems


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    • Janellegems profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from United States

      I definitely agree Hackslap. Thank you for reading my hub and giving your feedback.

    • Hackslap profile image


      5 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Excellent insight! .. I'm particularly in agreement with points 4,5,6, 10 and 11 .. low self-esteem, guilt and fear of being alone (especially if you've never been single) are major contributing factors that people (especially women..) tend to remain in relationships they know are killing them (metaphorically speaking)...

    • Janellegems profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from United States

      I totally agree Ryem. Thank you so much for your comment and reading my hub.

    • Janellegems profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from United States

      Definitely I agree MsDora. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

    • Ryem profile image


      5 years ago from Maryland

      This hub reminds me of some of the unhealthy relationships I had when I was younger. It's never worth staying in a relationship that is more convenient than fulfilling. Great write.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks for pointing out these reltionship mistakes. It really hurts to be disconnected, but better deal with the pain and get better.

    • Janellegems profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from United States

      Thank you so much Nadine. I absolutely appreciate you linking my post to your hub. Thank you for comment.

    • Janellegems profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from United States

      That's true DDE. Thanks for your comment and for stopping by.

    • Nadine May profile image

      Nadine May 

      5 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

      Great hub on the eleven reasons why people should not stay together. I had just finished my 10th chapter on a novel I'm writing and posted it on Hubpages when I came on your hub on relationships. I decided to link your post in my last hub. Well done!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Interesting and very useful. Romantic relationships are not all worth staying in for and can ruin oneself.


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