ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships

11 Reasons Women Date Married Men

Updated on September 18, 2016

Reasons Women Date Married Men

August 2015 was a revealing month for love. Hackers released data from Ashley Madison, a dating site created specifically for married people looking to cheat on their spouses. With more than 32 million users' identities revealed, it became obvious that most men cheat. Women are unpredictable animal. They do things that sometimes are very difficult to comprehend. They have emotions that aren’t even on the male spectrum. One of those things they do is dating married men. You may wonder why they do it; is it because a man who is already taken is more experienced? Is he seen as able to commit? Is he more desirable because another woman has found him worthy of having? For some, the food on someone else’s plate always looks tastier.

There are many types of women who date married men. Some do it by accident because there are many unscrupulous married men who lie to single women about their marital status. They slip their wedding rings off whenever they are outside their homes. Sadly, sometimes single girls fall head over heels in love before they find out he’s a married man. Though, some girls deliberately go for a married man. What about tactics? How do they do it? These girls whether they want commitment or just sex, adopt a range of tactics, such as showcasing desirable qualities that the current mate lacks. If the man’s wife is cold and unfeeling; she assumes warm, vivacious, and loving mannerism. Others use sex as bait - initially offering sex with no strings attached, only later to expect her man will become so attached that he can’t bear to live without her.

While it sometimes works to their advantage, it doesn’t mean it makes sense. Why date a man that is already attached? Women fall for married men for a variety of reasons. Here are a few of the most common:

Some fear commitment

A single woman may be attracted to a married man because she isn’t ready to be committed to a long-term relationship at the time. Married men are inherently less demanding, and will rarely be available because they already have wives and families to contend with; therefore some single women who fear commitment, and in a relationship with a man who is married have breathing room A married man exacts less time from his mistress, which may be a good thing if the woman has trouble opening up. They are not accountable to him if they want to see a male friend or past lover because it a pseudo-intimate relationship. He can never give his whole self to her and, therefore, she needs not give her whole self to him. True intimacy is being able to have and see all of another person (and giving your whole self to them). Real love requires real intimacy.

Dating a Married Man Is Easier

Another reason is some women may just lazy in a relationship, perhaps, because she is focused on her career or maybe she is attending college and concentrates all her attention on her education or career in her work place. Dating a married man is far less demanding than dating another single or having a live-in relationship. There are only so many demands a single man can make of his mistress and that is the kind of relationship she is not after. Maybe she’s involved in so many activities or maybe she just isn’t ready to settle down. Whatever the case, this type of woman dates married men because they are largely unavailable and she likes it that way.

Sneaking around has its thrills

The sex itself may be lustier because it’s clandestine because as long as it’s illicit and forbidden, sparks fly. Having sex in the married couple’s bed, for example, becomes a daring thrill, full of lust and passion, in a way not possible otherwise. The need to be secretive, sneak around undiscovered, grabbing quick sexual encounters become a huge turn-on in comparison to a dinner date with a single man. Especially for rule-breakers, it’s just more fun being naughty and bawdy.

Competitive Women

Stealing a man’s affection from his wife is a power trip to these women. There is competitive woman who craves the competition, seeing mate poaching as a means to boost her self-esteem. The hotter her rival, the hotter she is, the more she feels superior to the wife in terms of having the qualities that men want. For these women, feeling more superior to the other woman is her driving force. What these women don’t know is that if he were to actually leave his wife or partner to make this relationship permanent, she has to brace herself for a nosedive. What they often fail to understand is men rarely leave their wives and if they do, all they have won is a cheater. He cheated on his wife with her, so how he would treat her with other women.


Like everything in life, the main reason women are attracted to married can be boiled down to the simplest of human emotions; jealousy. The grass always looks greener on the other side, the food on someone else’s plate always looks better than what you have and someone else’s man always looks better than a single guy. The rationale behind that seems to be, if someone wants him, he must have something worth wanting.

Have low self-esteem

Insecure woman feel beautiful and powerful when they can steal the attention of a taken man. Quite simply, it soothes their ego to think that they are more desirable than another woman. They may have low self-esteem and feel they’re not attractive to more suitable partners. If they select a man who already belongs another woman, they won’t have to face rejection should the relationship end.

Married men have shown they're willing and able to commit

If women’s commonest complaint about dating men is that they resist settling down, it figures that they have been attracted to someone who has signed up for a legally binding romance. By this he has demonstrated a capacity for commitment. Of course, there's a big problem here: If he’s willing to cheat with you, there's no guarantee that he won't cheat on you, too. The proof is in the pudding, so to speak.

They are more grown-ups & often more finically secure

Sometimes women go after married men because they believe them to be more financially secure, emotionally stable and experienced than single men and more able to offer more emotional and financial support. The general consensus among these gals is that if he can take care of an entire family and keep a wife happy, he’s the kind of guy she wants. Statistically, married men are more likely to be educated, more likely to be working, to have an income, to be responsible. She doesn’t have to take her chances with a single guy who is just getting his life together.

They make them feel good about themselves

Some women get a feeling of power and a boost in self-esteem when they sleep with a married man believing if a married guy flirts with her, texts her, or sleeps with her, he’s taking a major life risk to be able to enjoy her company, so I must be really special. These types of women feel that if they can take another woman’s husband away from her, she is pretty and desirable. She feels he’s got a lot to lose, but he’s choosing to be with her. It’s a huge rush for her self-esteem, which suggests that the single participant may be feeling a bit insecure to begin with.

They are occasionally just compatible

It does sometimes happen that a married person stays with their partner in infidelity when in a loveless marriage. Consider Prince Charles and Camilla, LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian, and of course, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. They’re simply compatible. Even if the new couple doesn’t last forever, their pairing may have helped the married person escape a situation that wasn't working. A mistress cushions the blow of divorce. It’s just one of the many motivations for having an affair—or participating in one.

Some women are just immoral

Such women don’t care about the sanctity of marriage. They don’t care how many children are at home. Her objective is to win this man at any cost. Sex is her greatest weapon and she will use it for all its worth. The logic goes something like this: if he has a wife at home and is cheating with me, I know he’s not cheating on me. And the sex is great because it’s new, adventurous, no strings attached, etc. These women are the most sexually adventurous of all the women who date married men. They are often willing to perform sexual actions that he can’t get his wife to do. She is bold and confident, both of which are attractive to men, especially those in a long term relationship that has gone bad. She may have decided never to trust a man. They are unpredictable and could threaten to call the man’s wife during the first big fight they have or sends you illicit text messages exactly when you told her not to. They can rack any family because they are in it to win at all cost. That doesn’t mean she will stick around though, after winning her conquest, she may go off in search of the next battle.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Chuksm profile image

      Anthony Modungwo 17 months ago from Benin

      Thanks ladybroken for your comments. They agree with my views.

    • profile image

      ladybroken 17 months ago

      yes dont do it...not worth the headaches....they will lie to you ...tell you he loves you and tell his wife the same thing

    • Chuksm profile image

      Anthony Modungwo 18 months ago from Benin

      dashingscorpio long time. I quite agree that some of this affairs lead to marry no doubt. Examples abound like you mentioned but most cases it doesn't lead to marriage but a lot of complications in the lives of those concerned. Someone is always a victim of such relationship.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 18 months ago

      And lastly sometimes two people just connect.

      "I met (the right woman) at the wrong time...."

      When actress Julia Roberts hooked up with her now husband Danny Moder he was married. Julia has now been married to him for 13 years.

      Singer LeAnn Rimes had an affair with her current husband, actor Eddie Cibrian while they were (both married).

      Naturally these are both exceptions to the rule for most mistresses.

      Sometimes women date married men whom they use to date!

      Maybe they were high school or college lovers who went their separate ways and years later they reconnected on social media after one or both of them had married other people. (Emails, texts, phone calls, and then meetings..)

      These days there are a lot of (exes) who cheat with each other.