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12 Smart Ways a Married Woman Can Be a Good Wife

Updated on April 27, 2018

How a Married Woman Can Be a Good Wife

Married woman, learn to communicate effectively with your husband
Married woman, learn to communicate effectively with your husband


Akosua Serwah is about to marry her childhood sweetheart Kwabena Amponsah. She has never been married before and so she is apprehensive about the whole situation.

“Some of my friends have divorced after only a few years of marriage. That scares me. I don’t want my marriage to end anytime soon. I want to get married for life. I want to know how I can be a good wife so that my marriage can last a lifetime,” Akosua says.

In this article, I want to look at some of the things a wife can do so that her husband will feel comfortable in the marriage.

1. Have Realistic Expectations

Do not set standards for your husband that he cannot live up to. Rather, set standards for your husband that he can obtain. For example, do not expect your husband to spend every weekend with you at home or buy you gifts whenever you have your birthday.

Setting unattainable standards for your husband will make you put undue pressure on him which can make him frustrated and that can lead to friction in the marriage. Additionally, when your husband is not able to meet the high standards you set for him, you may become resentful and that can weaken the bond of love in the marriage.

So, appreciate what you have and what your husband can give you instead of expecting more. Show gratitude when he makes efforts to meet your expectations so that he will be motivated to do more for you.

2. Communicate Effectively With Your Husband Every Day

Express your feelings and needs without reservation so that you can stay connected on the emotional level. When you are putting your concerns and desires across, speak in a positive tone.

For example, if you want your husband to buy a car for you say something such as, “Darling, don’t you think that buying a car will help this family? Think about it, I will be able to go shopping conveniently and I can take the kids to school, which will lessen your burden.” Let your husband see how he will also benefit and how the marriage will be enhanced, instead of saying something such as, “Yaa’s husband bought a car for her recently! I also need a car! If you don’t buy a car for me, don’t expect me to give my body to you at night!” This sounds selfish and can put your husband off.

Furthermore, learn to listen to your husband. Focus on what your husband is saying when he is speaking to you. Give him rapt attention. Additionally, repeat parts of what he says to you so that he will know you were listening.

By speaking positively and listening to the words of your husband, and other good ways of communicating, you will show him that you respect him and that will help to maintain the rapport in the marriage.

3. Learn to Let Some Things Go

Do not be overly sensitive about the harsh words and hurtful actions of your husband. That will make you get hurt often and that can result in frequent fights which can undermine the stability of the marriage. Some disagreements are not worth fighting over and you just have to desist from turning them into major quarrels.

If you make big issues out of petty irritations, your husband will ignore you when the real issues come up later. Consequently, you may feel slighted and that can cause big fights.

Therefore, try to concentrate on the positives of the marriage and on the good things your husband does for you. At the end of every week, write down the good things your husband did for you throughout that week and ruminate on them. It will make you feel gracious towards your husband and that will make it easier to let go of petty irritations.

4. Compliment Him Often

Compliments are a great tool you can use to enhance a marriage! Yet, some women assume that men are not so bothered when they are not appreciated. That is an erroneous impression—men also like to be adored and praised!

Therefore, regularly, let your husband feel as though he is a king. Tell him he looks good when he puts his suit on in the morning as he prepares to go to work. Convey in a nice manner the fact that you think he is a great father when he pays the school fees of the kids. Tell him he is a great husband when he pays the electricity bills or rent. Do not make him feel as if you are taking him for granted.

You will increase your value in his eyes further if you give him some of these compliments in front of his friends and family members. It will boost his ego and make him feel that you appreciate the fact that he is a responsible man. As a result, his love for you will grow stronger.

5. Be Understanding

Remind yourself often of the fact that you were brought up in different homes under different circumstances and so your view of the world will be different. This will make it easier for you to stomach the idiosyncrasies of your husband so that you can maintain the peace and harmony in the marriage.

Furthermore, do your best to respect his opinions and point of view on matters. Always remind yourself that you may never agree on certain matters and be willing to cooperate and compromise sometimes, especially when you have to deal with thorny issues such as how to bring up your children and how to make time for each other, so that the marriage can move on.

6. Admit Your Faults, and Go Even Beyond That

One sign of maturity is the ability to say, “I admit I was wrong and I will do my best to correct my mistakes” when you commit errors. So, learn to remain rational when you have conflicts so that you can recognize and apologize when you realize that you have messed up.

Additionally, learn to initiate reconciliation when your husband wrongs you. Try to save his blushes by admitting that you had a part to play in the whole unfortunate affair so that he will not feel embarrassed.

7. Help Him to Manage His Stress

Some wives make it a habit to present their grievances and requests to their husbands when the men come home from work in the evening. That is a bad time to spring your problems on the poor man!

A good wife gets her husband to talk about his day, sympathizes with him for having such a tiring day, says soothing words that will make him feel relaxed such as, “Honey, I can appreciate what you’ve been through today. That’s what makes you the greatest husband in the world,” massages him, and lets him lay his head on her lap so that he can feel relaxed. Additionally, she gives him a great time in bed so that he will be happy.

Be Romantic

Always try to be affectionate
Always try to be affectionate

8. Be Romantic

Showing affection is very important in any marriage relationship. So, show affection for your husband often. Hug him when he buys you a gift, kiss him when you come home from work, remind him of your love for him often, squeeze his hand when he appreciates your cooking skills, hold his hand or put your arm around his waist when you are in public, and sing love songs to him in your bedroom. Let him feel that he has the greatest wife in the world and he will reciprocate and try to be the best husband in the world!

Furthermore, generate married date ideas and present them to your husband so that you can discuss and implement them to spice up the marriage.

9. Work on Becoming Patient All the Time

Your husband will undoubtedly do things that will annoy you and irritate you. To maintain the stability in the marriage, do your best to be patient when your husband provokes you.

Not only does a good wife try to exercise patience and stomach some of these annoying habits and reactions, but she goes further by learning to stretch her patience so that she can sustain the camaraderie in the marriage which will help to keep the marriage strong.

10. Learn to Control Your Ego

Some wives are full of themselves and so find it difficult to submit to their husbands. This can create disharmony in the marriage and that can threaten the survival of the relationship.

Sometimes, too, some wives let their ego get the better part of them and they treat their husbands with disrespect. A good wife learns to control her ego at all times so that she can perform her role to perfection, which is to be a helper to her husband.

11. Satisfy Your Husband in Bed

Sex is very essential for the survival of a marriage. However, it is one thing that can cause disaffection in a marriage if it is not handled properly. If a couple do not have a vibrant sex life, it can create disaffection in the marriage. In fact, it is one of the reasons why some couples split up.

Therefore, if you want to be a good wife, you must ensure that you make the bedroom an exciting place to be. Do not use sex as a bargaining chip to get things from your husband. Moreover, do not use it as a tool to exact revenge on your husband when he hurts you.

Additionally, plan sex into your busy schedules. And, initiate it sometimes—do not always wait for your husband to make the first move or else the routine will put him off and he may lose interest in making love to you.

12. Pray for Your Husband Often

Intone prayers regularly for your husband so that all may go well for him and so that he can fulfill his responsibilities to you and make you happy.

You may intone prayers such as this one every day, “Dear Heavenly Father, glory be to Your Name for giving me such a wonderful husband. Dear Lord, I bring Isaac before Your throne of mercy and grace this morning. Please protect Isaac as he drives to the office and bring him back home safely. Father, give Isaac peace of mind today so that he can work productively. Protect him from the Evil One and keep him from falling when he is tempted so that we can continue to have a happy marriage. Please bless the work of his hands so that he can always provide for the children and I. Give him good health so that he can continue to take care of his responsibilities. Help him to continue loving me and let his love for me become even stronger. And give him a patient heart and a forgiving spirit so that we can live in love, peace, and harmony. Amen.”


A married woman can be a good wife if she sets attainable goals for her husband, if she does not take her husband for granted, tries to be understanding, learns to become more patient with her husband, as well as if she does her best to satisfy her husband sexual needs. By doing these things, your husband will be happy with you and you will have a healthy marriage.

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© 2017 Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio


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    • UnTalk Therapist profile image

      UnTalk Therapist Phil DeLuca 

      11 months ago from Charlotte NC

      Uhhh I'm assuming all these rules stand for the husband as well....


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