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"12 Things That Girls Will Never Say"

Updated on September 1, 2012
MODEL APRIL HASSIAK. Photo by Dollen
MODEL APRIL HASSIAK. Photo by Dollen | Source

ATTENTION All males who read the hubs of HubPage writers: (I promise you that you will "love" this story. If you don't, I cannot help you. Sincerely, Kenneth)


Simply said. This hub is about girls. Pretty girls. Girls that you guys dream about. But never able to date. Girls that when searched in Webster's Dictionary, their pictures always end up by the words "gorgeous," "beautiful," and "unattainable."


Girls with names such as "Fifi." Girls named "Jennifer." Girls girls named "Bubbles." And girls with names such as "Sharona," whose beauty is viewed on other level way past mortal minds.

Those kind of girls. Model-material girls. Girls who can just wink and 50 guys spill their plate at the cocktail party. And girls who can just walk into a room and the same 50 guys in harmony forget the great joke they were sharing. Those kind of girls. The girls that us guys get only one chance to meet, date, and if we are very blessed, get to have a long-lasting relationship with them.


Okay. If you haven't followed me so far, this hub is all about pretty girls. And to be fair to my much-valued women followers, this hub is in no way disrespecting you. In fact, you might get a laugh or two as you read this hub that came to me late Friday evening, June 22. (true date).


Please allow me to share some true-blue facts about girls and women . . .


Women are all unpredictable. And honestly, I think men love that trait.


Women say their mind. Unlike men who mostly "beat around the bush."


Women can be very intimidating. When they need to be.


Women know how to "stand their ground." Never assume they are weak.


Women can take on any man, another woman who is treading on her territory, or four-legged beast. And win hands-down.


Women do not require jewels, cars or furs. The nicest and most-thoughtful gift any guy can give any girl is simple respect and a free-acknowledgement that they are his equal.


Now there are many more women-related facts, but I think you get my point. I'm sorry if you don't, because I am fresh-out of programs.


It takes a real man to listen and understand a woman. Not that she or her "sisters in womankind," talk in an unknown, complex code from the Far East. It's just that women, don't you love them, have a language all their own.


For instance. If she says, "fine," in a sharp tone, she is really not agreeing with you, male friend, she is cutting you off at the verbal knees to prevent you from winning the argument.


And if she squints her eyes and says, "duhhh," guys, this means that one of the two of you is not mentally-sharp and it isn't her.


A woman is unlike a man in so many ways even Dr. Phil cannot count that high. She will say more in seven words than us guys say in twenty. Don't believe me? Listen carefully to a woman asking a clerk for a certain dress when she is out shopping. "Size three, beige, above the knee, please," see, seven words exactly. A man will stand and mumble and stumble over what dress he wants for his wife until the clerk sighs in aggravation and suddenly needs to take a rest room break.


One last bit of "women truth." Unlike most men, when women say, "I will "NEVER" say something like that to you," buddy, you can bank on it. A woman is true to her word. I happen to know a few "true" women on and off of HubPages and I can guarantee you that when they say something similar to this statement, believe it.


What I am stumbling to say is that there are "12 Things That Girls Will Never Say," . . .and you guessed it. This is an easy-to-understand list of those things that has been never-before published. Until now.


1.) "Watch a Lifetime Network movie? Are you kidding me, hun? I want you to take me to a tractor pull."


2.) "I'm famished from all of the clubbing. Take me to Hooter's for bite to eat!" "you talk to all those hot waitresses you want. I am beat!"


3.) "I think that your "ex" is the cutest little thing on high heels."


4.) "Hey, the remote if yours. I want no part of it."


5.) "See if you can drink another pitcher of Bud, dear. You are so sexy when you are intoxicated."


6.) "What "ex"? When I met you those other guys just vanished away."


7.) "Why do you want to take me to dinner, then to that stupid ballet, "Swan Lake?"


8.) "I am not a big fan of cuddling."


9.) "Dear, tell me about your day of repo work. Your feelings are more important than mine as well as your job."


10.) "No, I don't mind at all if you meet your last girlfriend at Hooter's to console her about her inability to be faithful."


11.) "Do you have tickets to the WWE Wrestlemania, yet? Never mind, sweetie. I will get you ten tickets for you and your buddies."


12.) "Hey, go hunting with your buddies for an entire week and here's my American Express for those cases of beer you will need."


Now I want to offer the men readership of HubPages my deepest apologies for putting them into "dream land," with this list of things that women will never say.


Be honest guys. Don't you sometimes "dream" that your wife or girlfriend would say something similar to this list?


Okay. Just give me time to work on it, and one day you will be calling me the "Sandman."

MODEL SARAH LYNN. Photo by Dollen.
MODEL SARAH LYNN. Photo by Dollen. | Source

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    • profile image

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago

      Hey, George,

      Thanks for your great comment and votes. Please point out these girls you are talking about who do not watch O, We, or Lifetime. I want to write a hub saluting them.

      Seriously.

    • profile image

      Kenneth Avery 4 years ago

      That Grrl,

      You are a very understanding girl. And I might be as bold as to use the word, "unique," as to have an attitude as yours.

      Some girls need your teaching.

    • George Greene Jr. profile image

      George Greene Jr. 4 years ago from California PA

      Very funny ! But I still don't know any women who watch Lifetime movies! Romantic comedies in the real cinemas yes, but not Lifetime or We or O or any of the other networks out there. In fact I know more guys who watch soap opera type shows than women! Such as the WWE and my last girlfriend was a big fan as well so I think #11 might be a possible as well.

      Voted all around up!

    • That Grrl profile image

      Laura Brown 5 years ago from Barrie, Ontario, Canada

      I never minded if he talked to other women. I just would have left if he ever did more than just talk. But, he really did like me so I really wasn't worried about other women. His Mother was a bigger problem. You forgot that on your list.

      I would NEVER say "Let's have your Mother over for the weekend." I wouldn't want her there for more than an hour for dinner and only as long as I was in the home to make sure he didn't promise her anything.

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dearest Rachael,

      Yes, it has been a while. How have you been? Good, I hope. Ive had two eye surgeries since we chatted last. I had retina repair and it wasn't fun. My fibromyalgia and neurothopy are still as painful as ever, but I am plugging along.

      Thank you so much for your comment and yes, DO write that hub about what drop-dead gorgeous man (besides me) will never say certain things to girls. Great move.

      Love ya,

      KENNETH

    • toys-everywhere profile image

      Rachael C. 5 years ago from That little rambunctious spot in the back of your mind :)

      I probably would say 3,4,7, and 11 at some point, haha. But #11, he'd have to take me with 'im. :D Reading this gives me the urge to write about what drop-dead gorgeous men will never say to their girls!

      Hope you're doing well, Kenneth, it's been a while. :)

      --Rachael

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, vibes,

      Thanks a zillion for your sweet and profound comment. #11 is workable, Id say, but the rest, I just went for it. Most men if their girlfriends or wives said ANY of these things, would be so sucpicious that they'd never leave the house. As for me knowing so much about the female race, I DON'T. No man does. He might know some, as I do, but if any man says, "I know ALL about women," walk away. This man is a liar. But WOMEN are the perfect topic of study for great hubs.

      And stories that lead to amazing movies too.

      Thanks again.

    • vibesites profile image

      vibesites 5 years ago from United States

      I might say #11... I may want my guy to spend some time with their buddies doing buddy things, like watching wrestling. The rest are a challenge, lol. Thanks for sharing, you seen to really know so much about the female race. :)

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, trusouldj,

      No problem here. Sometimes "I" surf to LIFETIME and sometimes find a film that DOESN'T SHOW a woman being abused, betrayed, or overlooked for a job promotion. SOME, not all, shows on LIFETIME, if I were a woman, would be offended.

      Nuff said.

      KENNETH

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      bestpoetry . . .I sincerely thank you for your compliment. I appreciate it because I am still a "green hand" at this hubbing thing and all of the support I promise IS appreciated.

      God bless you.

      KENNETH

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Mom Kat . . .thank you for your sweet candor. I thrive on honesty from my followers. You ARE a follower, right? Well, if not, I beg you to do that today. I would love it. And I have a hub coming soon entitled, "Things I Love . . ." simple in headline, but filled with things that I have kept hidden for years . . .please read it when its published and give me a critique.

      Thanks, KENNETH

    • trusouldj profile image

      trusouldj 5 years ago from Indiana

      I like LIFETIME personally.

    • bestpoetry profile image

      bestpoetry 5 years ago from Pakistan

      Yeh you did a great job, it's a good and helpful topic

    • Mom Kat profile image

      Mom Kat 5 years ago from USA

      I meant my "challenge" in good fun - I could tell that it was a good humored, lighthearted hub :)

      I'm not offended in the least.

      You did a great job :)

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, Gypsy Rose Lee,

      You are a sweetheart for your comment. I do sincerely appreciate your time and wonderful words.

      Visit with me anytime.

      Kenneth

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear Catgypsy,

      I wish I knew more about girls, but honestly, I do not think that God made women for men to know 100% all about them. After all, you are all very mysterious and lovely creations.

      Honest.

      KENNETH

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, Jaye,

      I appreciate you laughing at my list. I do mean I appreciate that with my whole-heart. Like I have said in the past, if I can make ONLY ONE of my Friends on Hubs happy, I am happy.

      KENNETH

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, Melonyy,

      Thanks a mil' for your kind input. As long as MY FOLLOWERS approve of and like my stories, I am very happy.

      Kenneth

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello, Dear Sunnie,

      Thanks for YOUR liking this offering. Me? Smart? Nahhh. Just been around women for 58 years and I just happened to marry a woman. She is the inspiration behind this. Thanks, Sunnie for your sweet comments.

      KENNETH

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, Mom Kat,

      first of all, I sense that you were a tad offended at my list. So I offer you this heart-felt apology. This was purely in humor. Not a serious hub. And I am very impressed at your doing this for your companion . . .not many women would do this. You are to be commended. I am serious about that.

      KENNETH

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      @ bridalletter, you are 100% right. I should have clarified, but I am a man and that explains the error. LOL. Thanks for your comment that I loved.

      KENNETH

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Loved this. Great hub had a few chuckles but you are so right. Passing this on.

    • catgypsy profile image

      catgypsy 5 years ago from the South

      You know so much about women! Very funny hub.

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 5 years ago from Deep South, USA

      That's a very funny list, Ken! I laughed out loud as I read several of them. Those lines are NOT likely to be heard coming from women's lips....

      Jaye

    • Mellonyy profile image

      Mellonyy 5 years ago

      You are extremely right, what need a woman-simple respect and a free-acknowledgement, nothing more.Thanks for sharing!

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 5 years ago

      Kenneth you are so funny..This was spot on..how did you get so smart? hehe..Thank you for the smiles..

      Sunnie

    • Mom Kat profile image

      Mom Kat 5 years ago from USA

      Cute, but... I'm calling "challenge" on #12.

      My hubby doesn't hunt, but he does fish and I have, on more than 1 occasion encouraged him to go on a week long fishing trip with his buddy.

      I don't have a credit card to hand him, but I do make a special trip to the store for him & buy anything I can think of that they guys would want to snack on & eat while they are out camping and fishing.

      And yes, I will even stop off at the liquor store & stock him up with beer - good beer, because I can't stand the thought of him drinking cheep beer.

      I've gotten him tackle, bait, gear... the whole nine yards when it comes to his favorite hobby & spending time with his best buddy.

      ~ I'm an odd duck, I know, but it's only a few times a year that he asks; so I figure it's the least I can do.

    • bridalletter profile image

      Brenda Kyle 5 years ago from Blue Springs, Missouri, USA

      Very cute and very shareable. The funny thing is i would rather my boyfriend go to hooters than a bar. Those girls are just working for cash tips, not for a date.