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15 Signs Your Boyfriend Might Be Cheating On You

Updated on July 27, 2016

Cheaters give off many signals before they get caught. Unfortunately, most of us are so busy with our own lives that we miss the cheating signals and are left dumbfounded when we discover the truth. While you don't have to become a controlling, crazy girlfriend to discover if your man is cheating, you only need to pay a little more attention to what your man is doing. For example, what is he doing differently all of a sudden?

This isn't to say that men can't change on a whim. They certainly can and they may do it for a wide range of reasons, with many of those reasons being positive. For example, your boyfriend may be reading up on how to take more control over his life and how to succeed. He may try getting up earlier, getting more sleep at night, and eating a better diet. If you see this kind of change, get involved and make the same changes with him. If he is doing them to better his life, he will love the fact that you are getting in on it, too. A cheater, on the other hand, will get annoyed with you for even noticing his changes. He won't want your involvement or participation. He will actively try and push you away.

Cheaters show more than one sign of cheating. If your man shows just one or two of the signs below, don't get yourself all worked up. If he shows three or more signs of cheating, then it is time to do some digging to find out what is really up with him.

Mood Swings

When he got up for work this morning, he was cranky as all heck, but when he got home, he was practically dancing his way up the driveway. Later on, his mood took a dip again and he became impatient, frustrated, and grumpy. Could it be you who is making him so crabby? It is possible. You think no further on the subject, but on the other hand you try and do little things to make him happy.

When a man goes through multiple mood swings and it happens day after day, there is something more going on. While it may not always mean that he is cheating, you should take some time out to talk to him and find out what is wrong. It could be stress or problems at work. Of course, he could be unhappy in the relationship and that is not something that just goes away.


A Sudden Desire To Lose Weight

You love your man just the way he is. Sure he might have a bit of chunk around the middle, but you find him handsome nonetheless. And yes, he may not be muscular or defined or even remotely ripped, but he is still sexy in your eyes.

Out of the blue he is trying to lose weight. You didn't ask him to do this, but he is doing it anyway. Maybe it is just a phase he is going through or maybe he just has a sudden, overwhelming desire to get into shape. You give the idea of dieting some thought and ask him if you can join him in the weight loss. He shrugs and lets you know that he could care less what you do.

A man's sudden desire to look his best can happen for many reasons. It could be a personal reason and that he just wants to get into shape. Of course, he could also be trying to impress another woman.

Uses New Phrases

I had a boyfriend who started cheating on me with some artsy fartsy female he met online. I could tell it was happening because he started using new phrases and slang. He went from omg to using fml in his text messages to me and started gaining an interest in working with clay. Excuse me, I thought to myself. Here was a guy who didn't have an artistic bone in his body and suddenly he wants to play around with clay?

When a guy starts using new phrases and slang, your alarms should be going off. It means he has been interacting with someone new and he is testing out the way she talks and texts. It could be that he has a new guy friend, which is okay, but it could also mean he is trying to impress another woman by mimicking her speech patterns. If you notice your guy using new phrases, try and find out the source.

Checks His Phone More Than Usual

This can be a hard clue to pick up on if he already is a chronic phone user, but if you notice your boyfriend using his phone more often, it means that he has someone new to text. It could be a new guy friend or it could be work related, but it could also be a new love interest.

If you see your man constantly on the phone, checking his text messages, stand or sit near him for awhile. If he suddenly stops or makes a point of either hiding the text as he checks it or gets up and moves away from you, then he is hiding something from you. While it is okay to keep some things private in a relationship, such as personal texts from family members, it is not okay if there is a chance that he is cheating. Ask him directly who is keeping him on the phone all the time and see how he answers. Does he seem like he is being honest or can you tell if he is lying to you?


Starts To Like Things He Never Liked Before

What fresh hell is this? You both go to the pizza shop together and both of you normally either order the pepperoni slices or the sausage slices. Now, all of a sudden he is ordering some sort of broccoli white cheese pizza slices. You never even knew that he liked broccoli before and certainly not on a pizza.

That is not all. Later that night you find him watching the first season of Downton Abbey. Okay, you think to yourself, who did a brain switch on my boyfriend?

Men are easily influenced by whoever they are crushing on or having an affair with. They will suddenly try out things they have never done before in order to impress the other woman. If you are noticing that your guy is trying out new things, don't ignore it. Instead, keep a watchful eye on what else he does. Someone is influencing him.

Claims He Wants More Time Alone

In all honesty, I am all for alone time. I think that more couples would survive each other if they gave one another more alone time and time to work on hobbies or crafts. However, there is a difference between a bit of alone time and disappearing for hours or even days at a time.

If your boyfriend asks for a bit of alone time, by all means give it to him. It could very well be nothing. He might have things he is trying to figure out or he could just be working on his car. On the other hand, if he wants more alone time than time spent with you, a problem is brewing. It could be that he is trying to end the relationship with you or that he is interested in someone new. Instead of ignoring the elephant in the room, confront him about it. If he wants out of the relationship, tell him you are willing to let him go.

You Start Catching Him In Lies

He told you he was going to stop over at his brother's house after work and that he wouldn't get to see you until tomorrow evening. That is nothing new and you have no problem with him spending time with his brother, but you see his brother later on at the sandwich shop with his wife. You ask him if your boyfriend stopped over at his place and he looks puzzled for a moment. He tells you that he hasn't seen his brother for over a week. Hmmm... Your boyfriend told you two days ago he was there and that he would be there tonight. That's two lies right there. What else is he lying to you about?

When your man starts getting caught up in lies, you can't ignore the situation. Confronting him will probably only bring about more lies, so you will have to decide for yourself if you want to remain in this relationship or move on with your life. You can't stay with someone you can't trust.


Takes A Shower Before Bed

If your boyfriend always takes a shower before getting into bed with you, then move on to the next sign. If he just suddenly started doing this, read on.

Some cheaters think they are being nice or considerate or even sneaky if they take a shower before getting into bed with a longterm girlfriend. They are also hoping you don't pick up on a "strange" scent. The shower change up is something that is easy to dismiss and ignore, but what if there really is something else going on?

When your man starts taking showers before getting into bed with you, hop in with him. Smell his neck to see if he smells like another woman or sex. If all is clear, maybe he is just taking a shower to feel good when he gets into the clean bedsheets. Or maybe it is to cool off. Not all changes are bad and some can easily benefit both of you.

He Is Spending More Money

He has always been a bit tight on money, refusing to spend it on anything he finds worthless or stupid, but recently he has been blowing through his cash. You think that maybe he is just finally spending some of his hard earned money on himself and that is great.

Some of his purchases, however, are making you kind of nervous. He is buying some high end flashy stuff, the kind of stuff he would never buy before. It is almost as though he is trying to show off for someone, but who?

There can be numerous reasons why your boyfriend is suddenly spending cash. He may have had a sincere change of heart or he may have been saving up for a great big shopping spree just for the fun of it. He could also be trying to impress another woman. Keep an eye on him and his behavior. If he shows some of the other traits on this list, it may be time to ask him if the relationship between the two of you is over.

Has New Or Private Social Media Accounts

Social media has created an atmosphere where cheating is easy and carefree. Anyone can go online, be any kind of person they want to be, and start hamming it up with other people. Flirting happens all the time and sometimes those online pokes turn into real time pokes with zero guilt attached.

Should your boyfriend suddenly block you from his social media accounts or if you find that there seems to be a few messages missing on his board, he may be cheating on you. Some people chose to ignore online flirting and think that it is harmless. As a person who has been cheated on thanks to social media, I can say that without a doubt online flirting is not harmless. It can easily turn into something much more.

Do some serious soul searching if you believe your man is cheating on you through online accounts and decide if you are going to continue to turn a blind eye towards it or if you are going to let him go. Forget about changing him or monitoring his accounts. You will be wasting your time.


You Can Smell Perfume On Him

He has been at work all day and when he gets over to your place, he flops down on your sofa. You snuggle up next to him and he puts his arm around you. You bury your face in his t-shirt and take a deep inhale because you love the way he normally smells. This time he smells different. You can almost smell perfume on him or is it incense? He has a sweeter or floral scent to him. You inhale again and, no, you are not imagining things. Well, you think to yourself. Maybe he picked up the smell from a store or he got a new air freshener for his car. He could have used different soap at work. It is late and you don't feel like making a big deal out of nothing so you let it go.

It is real easy to pick up scents from other places. Candle stores and soap stores leave a pleasant scent on you, even if you just quickly walk through the place. If someone was burning incense, that scent would stay on him, too. It really could be absolutely nothing, but then again there could be another woman. Look for other signs before worrying too much.

Clears His Browser History

He has been on the computer for over 2 hours now and you need to get on to do some of your banking and pay the end of the month bills. You let him know to tell you when he is finished. A half hour later, he tells you to get on, but that he needs to do some more research when you are done. You ask him what he is researching and he says something about car parts. Alright. You don't need to hear anymore because you barely know a thing about cars and you head over to the computer. You sit down, check your bank account to make sure your check is showing up, and you begin paying the bills. In about 20 minutes, you are done. You figure that maybe you will check out that site you were on yesterday and you go into the history to find the URL, but what is this? The browser history has been cleared. You dismiss it, figuring that maybe he is trying to keep the computer from running slow, but there is also a nagging suspicion that maybe something else is going on.

Does New Things In The Bedroom

After all the time you and your boyfriend have spent together, you have your own way of doing things in the bedroom. There is a routine to it and there is a method to the madness. You thought you both had tried all the positions he was interested in, but apparently not. Last night he did something totally new and unexpected. Not that you are complaining, but where did that position come from? You have to admit it was pretty awesome.

Sometimes guys try something new in the bedroom to change things up and that is great, but there are those times when a guy learns something new from another woman. When that is the case, he is testing it out on you to get better at it. Before automatically assuming that he is cheating, see if he shows any of the other cheating signs. If not, then be happy that he is spicing things up in the bedroom.


Starts To Dress Better

Your boyfriend is a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy. You have tried to get him to wear some nicer shirts, but it was not a battle worth fighting so you left him to wear whatever makes him happy. Now he is suddenly trying on nicer shirts that have been sitting in his closet for about forever. He even mentioned going out and getting some new clothes yesterday. The difference is night and day. He is starting to look more trendy. You like it and think that he is making this great change just for you.

Listen, if he didn't want to change what he wears for you before now, then why do you think he would suddenly start wearing nicer clothes? It is probably not for you. It could be that he wants to look better and feel better about himself. Maybe he is becoming more mature in what he wears. Or maybe there is another woman he is trying to impress.

He Strays From His Normal Routine

Whether we admit it or not, we all have a daily routine. It could be that we get up and go, go, go until it is time for bed. For most of us we work, relax, and then do something entertaining like go out or watch Netflix. A few people are fortunate to have more free time and even they have set routines that they follow pretty much every day.

What is your boyfriend's routine like? Does he get up, shower, brush his teeth, and leave to pick up breakfast on his way to work? How about when he comes over after work or on the weekend? If he would make a sudden change to his normal routine, would you notice it?

Most of us wouldn't notice a slight routine change and if we did, we wouldn't think much of it even though it can be one of the many signs of a cheating boyfriend. On the positive side of things, he just might be switching up his routine to better himself or to get better organized. Watch him and see if he shows any of the other signs of a cheater.


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    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 

      18 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama


      Fantastic writing by a very wise writer. I loved all of your tips on what to look for about cheaters.

      You nailed it, my friend.

      Thanks for sharing this Much-Needed hub.

      Write me anytime.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      2 years ago

      "He Strays From His Normal Routine."

      Essentially any "sudden change" could be a sign he's cheating.

      However it's really not about him but it's about (you).

      Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself.

      If something doesn't (feel) right to you it's probably not right for you.

      Unless you're someone who is naturally insecure, jealous, or possessive then you should (assume) you're right! Now what?

      One has to decide if cheating really is a "deal breaker". There's a difference between life and the hypothetical.

      Oftentimes we become suspicious of our mate cheating because (we) are unhappy in the relationship or marriage. However many of us don't consider being "unhappy" as a just cause for ending a relationship or marriage.

      It's as if (we need someone to cheat or abuse us) in some way in order for us to " justify" walking away. Being unhappy should be enough of a "deal breaker". In fact the irony is many people who cheat claim to have done so because (they) were unhappy! Happy people don't distrust their mate.

      Even if it turns out that he {isn't cheating} and the new changes in his behavior remained it's not likely to make you jump for joy.

      If you suspect your mate is cheating one thing is for certain you no longer (trust) him or her! There's no reason to continue to be with them.

      One man's opinion!:)


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