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15 Signs a Guy Doesn't Like You

Updated on May 5, 2015

Intro.

We've all been there and we've all questioned ourselves as well as a guy we like. Whilst every person is different and every case can be different, there are some strikingly obvious signs that a guy is not interested in us. Even shy guys will make a good effort when he's trying to impress you.

Just because a guy isn't interested in dating you it doesn't mean he's not interested in friendship or that he actively dislikes you.

1. He Doesn't Want to Meet Up With You

If a guy really likes you he is going to hang out with you, he will ask you to hang out and he will be quite forward. Even shy guys are quite eager so if you are the one to ask him and he doesn't agree, brushes you off or makes excuses, he doesn't see you in that way, or it may be too soon. Even shy guys jump at the chance to hang out with you one-on-one even if it's just going to the shopping centre, to see a film or walk your dogs together.

If he never asks to hang out with you, this is another sign. Especially so if he is hanging out with other people, including girls. If he can make time for them and ask to hang out with them, he can certainly make time for you if he wants to.

2. He has No Interest in your Daily Life.

If someone likes you they're going to want to know what you've been doing, how you are, they'll ask questions and seem genuinely interested in what has been going on with your life. If they're on social media they're going to want to follow you, like your posts, share your stuff, comment to you, message you, send you things they think you might like. If he isn't doing any of that, makes any kind of rude remark about it or doesn't take an interest in what you've been doing recently then he just doesn't like you like that.

An interested guy is a guy that wants to get involved, learn things about you and spend time with you even if he is shy.

3. He Makes your Hangouts a Group Activity.

If a guy really likes you he's going to want some one-on-one time with you even just doing basic things. He wants to spend that time alone with you so he can try to impress you and gain your full attention. If you ask him to hang out and he turns up with a group of other people, he always invites others along or he's always on the phone, texting or messaging people online when you're together it's a very strong indicator that he doesn't want to be alone with you because he doesn't see himself in a relationship or close friendship with you. He's using other people as a blocker to put distance between you, this might be especially strong if he senses that you like him and he doesn't want things to get awkward between you, or he just doesn't want to flat out tell you he doesn't see you that way.

4. It's All Online

Ever had a guy messaging you a lot on Facebook, texting you a lot, sending you emails, etc and it never seem to go any further? this could be for a couple of reasons:

1. He is in a relationship and is engaging in flirting with you for entertainment.

2. He is bored, waiting around and messaging you because there is nothing else to do. E.g. he is contacting late at night, openly states he is out, waiting for someone or bored.

3. He views you as an online friend only and doesn't see a further relationship with you.

If a guy is really interested in you he's going to want to meet up with you, call you, text you, spend time with you and arrange things for you two to do together. If he's not following through with any plans he may be a fake profile, or if you know him, he's likely just viewing you as someone to chat to online but not pursue anything further with.

5. He Takes Ages to Reply.

If you really like someone you are going to message them back as soon as you can, you're going to text them, you're going to want to have a conversation with them or at least make some contact just to feel reassured everything is okay between you. Guys are exactly the same, they like to know they're being thought of and they like the attention just as much as girls do.

If you're the first to message and, not counting the fact he's genuinely at school/work/out for the day, and he takes a long time to reply, doesn't reply at all or replies at an odd time e.g. late at night, he's just not into you. If he only replies to you or seems to talk to you when he's waiting around for something, he's bored, he's travelling somewhere, it's likely there's nobody else to talk to or he's just looking for a way to kill them. If he was interested in you he would consider your feelings and reply much sooner.

6. He Makes Snide Remarks About You or Things you Enjoy.

This is a huge hint that he doesn't like you. When you like someone you will put on your best face and smile, you won't say rude things and you won't try to demean or degrade someone. If he is forward about dropping hurtful comments or poking fun at you, there's a good chance he doesn't like you in that way. Forget the playground arguments or little boys pulling the hair of little girls because they like them, when you're a teen or an adult this is not the case.

Examples would be him commenting negatively on something you enjoy such as Facebook or your Tumblr, your Instagram or some other internet profile you have. Perhaps he openly states you are looking for attention or you're desperate, lonely or that people who use some of these sites are stupid. Has he ever made a joke about your appearance? if he likes you he is going to compliment you and not titter about your clothing choices, your weight or suggest you may look better in some other way. Other ways of him making snide remarks are sneering at things you enjoy, openly making fun of you, or acting in a superior manner towards you/things you enjoy.

7. He is Too Private

When someone is being overly private they are putting up defence barriers against you. When a guy does this it typically means he doesn't know you very well and doesn't trust you. Even if you have been friends with him a long time and he doesn't go into detail about his personal life, his family, his feelings, etc, it usually means he doesn't want to talk about them with you. Now, if this same guy has lots of friends or close friends, it shows it is not just his way, he is doing this to protect himself. If this guy won't tell you much about himself even after talking for a while or seems vague/nonchalant, he isn't interested in you. This also links in with him not taking an interest in your life so he doesn't want you to take an interest in his.

8. He's Making Excuses

Whilst lots of people are very busy and have stuff to do, if he really likes you he will make time to see you and be eager about it. If he's dropping off the face of the planet when you ask him to hang out, he's throwing all kinds of excuses out of the pot or he's flat-out ignoring you they're clear signs he just isn't interested in you.

A perfect excuse is that he's really busy, it's not something you can question easily so he can get away with using it. It's also not hard to avoid using social networking or answering the phone when he's "busy".

Ignoring your question. If he's openly ignoring you when you ask to hang out or changes the topic, he just doesn't want to hang out with you and doesn't want that inevitable awkwardness or argument about it. He's trying not to hurt you and at the same time he's still trying to keep you civil with him or keep you as a friend.

Another way to brush you off gently is to make it all about him, that's he's shy, scared of ruining things, he's nervous, etc. Whilst some guys are very nervous, if he likes you he is still going to see you on the first or second ask. He won't want to avoid you, especially not for too long as he'll be afraid you might go off with someone else. If he's brushing you off, making excuses about himself and saying it's not you it's him, he's trying to very kindly tell you he doesn't want to hang out.

9. Negative Body Language

When you're interested in someone you're going to smile at them, make eye contact, stand close to them and be open and kind. When someone is giving you unwanted attention you will not smile, you will appear apathetic, cold and distance yourself.

Negative body language indicators:

  • Crossed arms.
  • Shoulders tilted away from you or he's leaning away entirely.
  • Lack of eye contact.
  • Lack of smiling, expressions and laughter.
  • He appears stiff, awkward or like he's trying to not touch you.
  • Turns his back to you or looks away.
  • He appears physically aggressive.
  • His attention is glued to his phone, another person or something else.
  • He puts distance between you when you walk and he stuffs his hands in his pockets or keeps things in his hands to avoid touching you.

10. You don't know his friends or family.

This applies more to if you have been friends for a long time or you really like him and have been connecting well. If he's keeping you away from his friends or family there is a reason behind it.

1. He sees you as a friend, but not a close friend or someone to be in a relationship with.

2. He already has a girlfriend that they know about and you are a side chick.

3. He's not ready for commitment or doesn't see a future with you.

11. The Conversation Is Not Flirtatious

If you like each other the conversation will turn flirtatious or even intimate in some cases. If the conversation from him seems awkward, bland, lacks any flirtation or it doesn't go on for very long it's a strong sign that he's not interested in you in that way. Good chance if you have initiated some flirtation and he hasn't responded well or at all, means that he feels things are awkward between the two of you and doesn't want to outwardly say anything. The dreaded :P smiley is one of the most powerful indicators when you're trying to flirt and he is gently brushing you off that he does not see you as a girlfriend.

Now if he is flirting with you online or by text but not in person this typically means he has some interest and wants to keep you where you are, but he can't/won't pursue you. He might be in a relationship, choosing between you and someone else or he's just bulking himself up for his friends or to satisfy his own ego. Even shy guys will drop some flirtatious hints in person as well as through text that they like you.

12. He's Rude.

When you like someone you're going to say things in the kindest and sweetest way you can, this counts for written and verbal contact. You don't want that person to think you're cold, nasty, rude or bored of them and want to keep sending subtle invitations to come back and talk. If he makes comments to or about you, he's cold, he doesn't reply much, he gets snappy with you or is just rude in general he doesn't like you. Manners cost nothing. The first way to make someone back away that is sending unwanted messages or contacting you in some way is to be rude to them to shut them down and make them leave you alone. Men are very simple, if he's rude, he doesn't want you to chase him.

13. He Openly Talks About Other Girls To You.

Guys who like a girl aren't going to be bragging about all the women they have slept with, all the ones they fancy, all the ones that fancy them because they don't want to come across as dirty, as players or as unable to commit. They want to put on their best front for you. The majority of guys know that bragging about past relationships, talking about women they fancy and especially commenting on other women's bodies in front of you is going to put you right off of them. Let's face it, decent guys don't behave like this, however, this is one way to put you off of him without things turning too awkward or him having to hurt you. Guys don't like rejecting girls and they don't like hurting you in most cases so if they can drive you away by building up a perfect woman in front of you it will put you down about yourself and put you right off of him.

Alternatively, if he's talking about another girl in an overly fond way, chatting about who he likes, etc in a more casual way this may be him missing signals that you like him and he's viewing you as a friend. If it seems innocently done, he probably doesn't know you like him but now you know that he likes someone else.

14. He's Being Really Negative About Himself.

If he's continuously putting himself down, acting like you're too good for him, talking about his looks and how girls don't want him, about how he's so shy and depressed and he has all these problems with everything, he could be trying to put you off of him. Some guys who genuinely do have problems and are not ready for a relationship will chase girls and play this card in hopes of attracting you in further to pity him. Whether it's the first or the latter case, you do not want to chase someone like that. Chances are they are prone to unstable relationships, are not ready for a relationship and may not even really be interested in you as a person, more likely to satisfy their own ego.

15. He Chooses Other People Over You.

If you ask him to hang out and other people do and he chooses them, he cancels your plans for other people, he's hanging out with other girls and making a show of it, or he's ditching you at the last minute for someone else it's a very strong indicator you are probably much lower down the scale than second best. He's putting them ahead of you which means he has little to no interest in hanging out with you or being close which does not happen if someone really like you. If he's picking someone else over you he's not trying to make you jealous or get a reaction out of you, he's doing it because he genuinely feels they are the better choice.

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      Amber Gardner 13 months ago

      I am guilty of #14.

      I will throw out that I'm colorblind. Stricken in the neck and paralyzed. I can't speak, we couldn't even have a decent conversation. lol.

      But it's all true, and for that reason I know that any man who shows me interest is not going to be interested for long, and so I go straight into deflecting their advances this way...among many.

      They shouldn't feel bad. It's not rejection, at least not in the real sense.