15 Warning Signs: Does My Husband Hate Me?
Signs Your Husband no Longer Loves You
Every relationship comes with ups and downs. This type of flux is totally natural and to be expected, but what do you do when you start to notice signs that something just isn’t right between you and your significant other? These are the signs that your partner, husband, or boyfriend may not be in love with you anymore.
1. He is critical of you.
One of the most obvious signs that your husband may no longer be happy with you is that he’s become critical. Criticism can crop up in many different forms. He may criticize you in superficial ways - such as commenting on your weight, the way you look, the way you talk, and the friends you hang out with. He may also start to speak poorly of the activities you like to do, your hobbies, and the type of work you do - essentially not taking you seriously. Keep an eye out for this type of disrespect. Some people tend to get critical when they themselves are depressed or unhappy, but if your husband is truly being mean towards you, pay attention to other key signs that his feelings may have changed.
2. You two fight all the time.
If you are fighting more than normal or you feel like your husband may be picking all the fights, his feelings may have changed towards you. Sometimes, it is totally normal for couples to have disagreements, times of friction, and to experience frequent annoyances with one another, especially in long-term partnerships when living together. However, if he is getting mad at every little thing you do and you feel like it is not within good reason, you may have a deeper problem at hand. Constant fighting is unhealthy and can add unneeded stress to an individual’s life. If this is happening in your household, it is important to seek help in the form of a relationship counselor or finding support locally.
3. He is verbally abusive.
Similar to constant fighting, if your husband is verbally disrespectful, calls you names, hurls insults at you, treats you condescendingly, and belittles you either in public or private or both, then your marriage is likely in trouble. If he is putting you down, mocks you, or makes fun of you, he is certainly crossing a line. No person should ever make their significant other feel unsafe or call them names. Verbal abuse is still classified as abuse, and if you have children in the household, you want to protect them from overhearing this kind of mistreatment. Consider finding counseling and support.
4. He doesn’t show affection.
Physical intimacy is an essential part of a healthy relationship, but at times, long-term partners can go through dry spells based on life events and normal stressors. If the intimacy has slowed down, there could be health reasons such as ED, depression, low-testosterone, or stress that are behind the issue. If your partner continues to hug and kiss you and hold your hand, you probably don’t have much to worry about, however, if your husband refuses to touch you in bed and it’s not just a phase, he may no longer have affection for you.
5. He has a temper or is violent.
If your husband is violent towards you, then you surely aren’t in a loving relationship and you should get out for your own safety. Physical abuse is never okay, and often people can get trapped in a recurring cycle with an abuser. If your husband hits you when you do something he doesn’t like, it doesn’t matter if he still treats you well the rest of the time, he still hates you if he hits you. Abusers are often good and convincing their victims that they have changed or the abuse will not happen again, but oftentimes, the cycle always repeats. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help and get out for your own safety.
6. He doesn’t spend time with you.
It’s totally normal for two people in a relationship to spend time away from one another and to develop hobbies and friendships apart from one another. Independence in a relationship is normal and healthy, but if your husband makes a lot of plans that don’t include you, you may be on to something. If he often goes out with friends or takes vacations with friends and doesn’t ask if you’d like to join, he may be intentionally avoiding you. Your significant other may also be taking work trips you are not invited to or is away for many nights at a time...this is a warning sign that his feelings may have changed or may not be genuine.
7. He forgets important dates.
If your significant other no longer remembers important dates like your birthday, your anniversary, or your wedding day, he’s either falling victim to a busy schedule and life or he simply doesn’t care. If he used to remember important dates but now he does not (some people are just naturally forgetful), and doesn’t get you anything special for Christmas, Mother’s Day, etc. and any important holidays the two of you once celebrated, he may no longer care for you in the way you wish he would.
8. He blames you for all of your relationship problems.
Another telltale sign that your husband may hate you or is unhappy with you is that he blames you for all of your relationship problems. It takes a mature individual and a mature couple to know that it literally takes two to tango, and if you have a problem in your relationship, it deserves to be resolved after a compromise is reached. Keep in mind that it’s not right if you’re always taking the blame. Your husband may be blaming you every time something doesn’t go right. You may start to think that it’s you and if you simply did what he wanted or be how he wanted, there wouldn’t be any more problems to work through. Ditch this mentally, and either seek out a counselor, or get advice on how to deal with psychological abuse.
9. You suspect or find him cheating on you.
If you suspect that your husband is cheating on you, he may be going out at night a lot, staying out late, coming home from work or the gym late, always on his phone, always going on long work trips, and hardly contacting you when he says he will. This doesn’t always indicate that he is cheating, but if the behavior is new and uncharacteristic for him, something may be fishy. If he has a history of cheating or you catch him cheating, then his feelings for you may not be genuine. As the saying goes, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”
10. He gets annoyed if you bring up the relationship.
If you bring up your relationship concerns and your husband seems to get annoyed, agitated, or avoidant, there is a good chance that he is not invested. You may try to talk about your relationship - whether in a positive or negative light - but you may feel he simply doesn’t want to. You may know things are bad between the two of you, and you may have even suggested that you see a couple’s therapist or counselor, but he still refuses. If he is totally disengaged from the relationship and doesn’t want to work on it anymore, he may be checked out past the point of return.
11. He is not involved in your life.
If your partner has zero concern for what is going on in your life, his feelings may have changed towards you. When you ask him to make plans, like planning a fun day of activities with the kids, he may show no interest, especially if it includes you. He may not remember your hobbies or even the activities you do during the week or day. He may also withdraw from regular family events - especially when it comes to visiting the in-laws. Keep in mind that some people have social anxiety or are just naturally introverted, but if you feel like something has changed in him, you may want to trust your intuition.
12. He goes out and doesn’t invite you to come with him.
If your husband likes to go out with the guys, party, or go grab a beer, but never invites you or introduces you to the people he is hanging out with, he may be avoiding you. He may go out with his friends but also make it clear that he doesn’t want you there. If he’s coming home at 3 a.m. and not even indicating to you where he is, who he is with, and what time he plans to be home, he probably doesn’t care or doesn’t have respect for you.
13. He always seems to be busy.
Your significant other may seem busy all the time. If he always has something to do and can never be free for you or has no time to spend it together just as a couple, he might be intentionally preoccupied with something else or someone else. He may choose to work on days he knows you have off, or plan activities when the two of you would have free time together. If he has a habit of doing this, your husband may be intentionally making him busy to avoid spending time with you.
14. He complains about you to other people.
Everyone needs to vent now and then, and sometimes we share our relationship woes with our closest friends, but if your husband is always complaining about you to friends, family, and coworkers, so much so that word gets back to you of what he is doing, he may be unhappy in the relationship. Unfortunately, it’s hard to believe word-of-mouth, but you will likely be able to tell what is going on by the way people react to you. It may not feel good when you find out what he’s been saying, but it’s important that you know, regardless.
15. He forgets your favorite things.
Most people who are coupled know everything about each other. They may have different tastes and preferences, but they know each other down to the core. They know each other’s favorite food, color, sports, television shows, books, etc. It’s normal to get to know one another over time, but if you find that your husband starts forgetting what you like and pays little attention to the things that make you uniquely you, he may no longer be in love with you or may have grown tired of the relationship.
© 2020 Briar Lewis