15 Ways to Turn Your First Meeting with Your In-laws Into a Train wreck
It's really very simple
just do everything perfect and your in-laws will instantly love you. I am not telling you a lie. In-laws, although human, can make or break your marriage. And more dark news: Most couples meet each other's in-laws prior to the wedding, so you had best practice "kissing-up," or "kissing-butt," for you are going to need it.
In-laws getting along. What a pipe-dream
The first three ways to make your first-meeting with your in-laws a train wreck:
- Do not spill hot chocolate on either the father or mother-in law, then lick it off like a dog. This stunt says, "I have no manners whatsoever."
- Visit the restroom "after" you meet the in-laws. Why? You are very nervous and you might not wash your hands or you might have toilet tissue sticking out of your pants, any fateful-thing to cause your in-laws and husband/wife unneeded embarrassment.
- Do not sneeze into the faces of your in-laws. Two things will happen if you do. One, you will infect them with your head cold and two, things from your nose will be on their faces.
What a peaceful dinner with in-laws
The "Get acquainted dinner"
- Do not serve, without asking, super-hot chili to your in-laws. Just because they are Hispanic does not mean they eat hot foods.
- Do not forget to move your sewing materials, needles, pins, thread from the chairs your in-laws will sit. Can you imagine the wedge that will be made between you and your in-laws when your mother-in-law sits on a sharp pin?
- If you serve fresh oysters, lobster and shrimp, be extra-careful when removing the shells from these delicacies. You do not want the shells to fly from the shell-crackers into the eyes and faces of your father and mother-in-law. You will never live this down.
A cruise is perfect to get to know your in-laws
- Do not (if you are a girl) wear a short skirt, flimsy-blouse on the outing with your in-laws. Your father-in-law may be 56, but he is still a healthy heterosexual. (look at the old geezer in the photo gazing at his lovely daughter-in-law.)
- Do not drink too much and let your speech get slurred--telling your horrid secrets you made while you were in college.
- Do not forget your manners and start calling your father-in-law, "Nedd," which would have been forgiven, but his name is, "Jedd."
In-laws love to be respected
Relaxing in the evening
- You had best look at all of your photos that you and your future-spouse have taken since dating. Then hide or burn, depending on how pornographic they are, the photos that your spouse will surely get out for his or her parents to see.
- If you have a criminal record, confess this to your in-laws. And I will tell you why. It is best to start-off with a clean-record and being honest. What if by some means your in-laws find out about your shoplifting charge you got while a senior in high school? Sure it was just a dare from friends, but it can come back to haunt you.
- If you are for some reason, in an angry-mood, hide it. Act as if your in-laws are the best people you have ever met. If you do not take care of this sour-mood, here is what could happen: "Jedd," your future father-in-law: "Missy," would you pass the salt?" You: "What? Are you an invalid?" So get to work and do not be in a bad mood, even if you are on your period, act friendly.
Happy in-laws mean a happy wedding
Marriage ceremony/reception blunders
- Please do not forget to have your father and mother-in-law to be escorted to their seat. If you forget this vital-detail, they will be standing, looking foolish, and growing more-angry at you for being treated like trash.
- At your wedding reception do not have your in-laws seated in the very back near the kitchen door. Another blunder that will always be brought-up at holidays.
- Tell your husband to not drink so much and there is a reason: What if he gets "slammed," and runs over your parents as you drive-off to a new life?
Let this piece be your guide
as you prepare to be wed to your best friend who will be your companion, hopefully for life.
- Look carefully at each part of this story.
- Check to see that you are not weak in any of these areas.
- Make a list of what you and your future-spouse are going to be doing with your in-laws and write down each detail as so you will not make a tragic social blunder when you meet them.
- In-laws understand pre-wedding jitters for they were once pre-newlyweds once, but still,, you have to do your part to make your first-meeting a success.
And from me, Congratulations on Your Wedding Day!