- Gender and Relationships
15 or More Things That Make Gorgeous Girls Look Awful
Can you image this girl
Dressing up in a gorilla costume and stand near the highway handing out free coupons to "Clara's Chicken-Rama?"
Women, I am all for you
Can women do the same things as men? Yes.
Are women doing the same things as men? Yes.
Case closed. No argument.
No, wait. Stop. There are still "those" two areas that stick out like a nasty gash you got in a bar fight because the Carolina Panthers cost you a bundle and you, in a drunken rage, shouted, "Cam sold out," and an ex-Navy SEAL (who got out of this elite organization just that morning), named "Ben," took you out with one mild elbow smash. Although he did feel sorry for the damage to your face, "Genny," the senior pole dancer was busy trying her best to get "Ben" to take her home due to her '97 Camry being in the shop.
Does this beautiful girl
Look like the type of girl who would work on a whaling boat?
Can you see this girl
Working on a logging crew?
The fight is not over for women
The two areas I mentioned are these: Equal pay for women and suitable punishment for a woman's ignorant male co-workers who think that sexual harassment and all of their vulgar innuendos are considered flattery to the women victims they terrorize.
If someone would solve these two gaping problems, the world would be a harmonious place. I truly believe that.
I confess that a lot of my hubs deal with women and their various issues and how us guys need to re-educate ourselves regularly on how to respect, admire, and appreciate them. I do not mind writing about women as long as women do not take offense at my hub stylings.
This video makes my point
This lovely girl
would not look working in a coal mine.
Before venturing further, let me issue this warning to you, the women are just now checking out this hub: Familiarize yourself with other hubs that I have written. You will surely see an under current of tongue in cheek with a dash of drama. If you do not realize the nature and style of my hubs, your feelings will be hurt. You've been fairly warned.
Let's all step back, take a breath and a swig of my new health drink: "Veggie-Smash," made with a certain tomato-based drink named after an eight-cylinder engine mixed with a hot sauce named after someone named "Frank," some cayenne pepper sauce topped off with a spoonful of super-hot sauce that I call "Diamond Dave's" which is total insanity sauce. (I hope you were able to decode the brand names) and enjoy while learning . . .
15, Maybe More, Things That Make Gorgeous Girls Look Awful
No women were harmed during the production of this hub. Nor was any phrase or idea meant to put any woman or women's group, or the very-appreciated Navy SEALs in any light of embarrassment.
Gorgeous girls look awful as sin when they . . .
- Try their little hearts out trying to plow a plow with an old fashioned plow and a mule named "Bob."
- Smear mayonnaise all over themselves and then walk out on stage in a skimpy bathing suit a state-sponsored beauty pageant.
- Try as they may to climb a tree without the aid of boot spikes, boots, or protective overalls. These ladies are all dressed "to the nine's" in their designer dresses and shoes.
- Have their hair stylists attach small bells throughout their gorgeous hair and they walk around shopping malls shaking their pretty heads and doing mime routines.
- Compete against each other in a "Pecan Pie Eating Contest."
- Belch loudly without covering their pretty mouths after they eat all they can eat in this "Pecan Pie Eating Contest."
- Dress "fit to be killed" as if they are headed out for a wild night of partying, but they choose to wear waders instead of those pretty heels.
- Gather in groups of five and stick their heads (and most of their bodies from head to waist) under the hood of some stranger's pick-up truck. Note: Some guys might find this scene appealing, but a gorgeous woman with her face completely covered in grease is not a pretty sight.
- Enter dog shows with their girlfriends as their pet poodles.
- Spend most of one day painstakingly dressing like a guy who is employed by the city sanitation department.
- Wear burlap sacks that were used to ship garlic from Italy to San Diego. To make matters even more hilarious, these same gorgeous gals in burlap enter posh eateries and try to get a table.
- Try their hand at raising pigs complete with mud, feed, pigs and awful-looking overalls to wear while tending their swine.
- Chewing tobacco, dipping snuff or smokeless tobacco in public or private.
- Intentionally gaining weight and then working to get in a designer gown that they once wore to gala balls and social events.
- Allowing a make-up tech (with a drinking problem) to do their make-up before the most important fashion show of their careers. Can you say "Sweets, you look just like Emmett Kelly?"
- Trying to wear a hippo costume that does not fit and then try to entertain a large group of children at a child's birthday party.
- Spending bales of cash on plastic surgery to get their tummies to be made larger as well as their ears, necks, and butts.
"Ben" and "Genny": The Epilogue: "Genny" lies a lot and the gag about her '97 Camry being in the shop is one of her most-used lies to get guys to take her home. Truth is, "Ben" might have been one of the best Navy SEALs, but his only weak area was his gullibility.
There is no way you can tell me that
This beautiful woman could ever play the part of a tree seen in the classic "Wizard of Oz."