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16 Reasons Why Women Cheat

Updated on October 25, 2016

Why Women Cheat

Men are known to cheat more than women. However, not all betrayers are men, in the contemporary world many women are into cheating. They are often better at it, and less likely to be caught. According to The Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, “Nearly 50 percent of married women and 60 percent of married men will have an extra-marital affair at some point in their marriage.” When you consider that these statistics are nearly double what they were 10 years ago, it is clear cheating is now commonplace.

The Executive Editor of KnowMoreTV, Charlene Bert wrote in a blog on March 7 2014 that, “American women are among top cheaters….Victoria Milan reports it saw 37 percent spike in female members around and just after Women’s Day celebration last year. The site also surveyed 4,000 of its 4 million members (in 33 countries) and the US is #3 in terms of greatest number of cheaters.”

So if you think you are safe because your wife couldn’t possibly be cheating on you, maybe it’s time to take a close look at your relationship and maybe ask some hard questions. What is the motivation of starting and maintaining an affair? Why is infidelity increasing and what is can be done to possibly check the trend?

The advent of internet has made having an illicit affair easier than before. There are many dating sites even for married people; Married-looking-for-affairs website, AshleyMadison.com is the undisputed leader. All have women and men signing in in droves.

An Igboukwu Customary Court judge in Aguata Local Government Area of Anambra State in Nigeria, Mrs. Chinelo Egili, wept on Wednesday April 30 2014 while presiding over a divorce case. She lamented the rising cases of divorce in the country. The customary court judge said women must devise ways of keeping their marriages, saying no marriage was ordained to fail. She was presiding over a divorce case between Mrs. Chizoba Ezekwo and her husband, Eze Samuel Ezekwo. Samuel dragged his wife to court over alleged extra-marital affairs. The judge said when a marriage broke up, children who are the products of such union bear the brunt.

There are many reasons for infidelity such as revenge, boredom, the thrill of sexual novelty, sexual addiction. But experts say that a huge majority of the time, motivations differ by gender, with men searching for more sex and for attention and women looking to fill emotional void. Every affair is different, so is every woman’s reason. Women are more likely to have affairs because of loneliness. Below are reasons why women cheat:

  • When a woman has lots of close male friends, she is likely to cheat. A significant number of affairs begin as close friendships with members of the opposite sex. The relationship may be platonic at the beginning, but chances are, it won’t stay that way. The closer the woman is to her platonic male friend, the more likely it is that he will eventually end up becoming her lover.
  • Just like in men, when a woman has friends who are cheating on their mates, she is very likely to join. Never underestimate the power of peer pressure. Adults are susceptible to it, too. If a woman has one or more close female friends who are cheating on their husbands, she may eventually start cheating, too.
  • All women seek for attention. They love any man who gives them emotional support. A woman who constantly craves attention may cheat on her mate if she feels she’s not getting enough attention from him. She will be easy prey for any man who showers her with attention he feels she deserves. Women are suckers for affections and compliments. Women fall for compliments and flirty touches really easily. A woman thrives on being the center of attention at all times, she is sexually vulnerable to any man who fawns over her, or makes her feel like she’s number one. I know a couple that have no children. They both work hard so they can have the good things of life and the prestigious lifestyle they believe will make them happy. The only problem is that they are working so hard to accumulate wealth that they are neglecting their relationship. There is no romance in their marriage and any emotional attachments are to the things they have acquired over the years. The wife complained she was lonely. What do you think, will happen when a woman feels lonely and no emotional attachment to her husband? She goes looking for emotional attachment elsewhere. “I cheated because he was giving me all of the things my husband wasn’t –attention and affection. I was lonely, not connected, I didn’t feel close to my partner, and I was taken for granted,” Mrs. Peters lamented. Her marriage had grown cold, and her husband complacent. Her relationship was good in many ways –financially stable, secure, friendly –but lacked passion. She was hungry for compliments and longing for passion. So she looked outside the marriage for someone that would make her feel relaxed, free and feminine. She needed someone to pay attention to her. Some women are easily bored. A woman who is easily bored, or who leads a dull, routine life may cheat on her mate just to alleviate her boredom or add some excitement to her life.
  • Some women are highly materialistic –gold-diggers. A materialistic woman is likely to have an affair with a wealthy man because of the materialistic things he can provide. She can easily be seduced with jewelry, designer clothes, lavish vacations, or the cash to buy these and other expensive things.
  • There are women, who are thrill seekers or risk takers. There are women who like to live dangerously; they’ll cheat just for the thrill of it, or for the excitement of doing something forbidden, or for the challenge of seeing if they can pull it off without getting caught. They view infidelity as other people would view a high risk sport. They get attracted to men that make them feel good. You have heard of men who are serial cheaters. They cheat for the thrill of it. There are women who are thrill seekers also. They may love their husbands, would never entertain the thought of leaving him but they need some excitement. A woman who is a thrill seeker wants to be wanted, to feel sexy, as if she turns her husband on every time she walks in the room. When she loses that feeling, she goes looking for it outside then. She has a reputation as a ‘party girl’. If she’s the type of woman who runs with a fast crowd or parties all the time, or hangs out until the wee hours he night, her lifestyle makes her vulnerable to having an affair.
  • If a woman’s husband has cheated on her, she may try to even the score by cheating on him in return. Many women who have been victims of infidelity will indulge in retaliatory cheating or what can also be called revenge affairs. Some women have a feeling that there is no better way to get back at a husband who has cheated than to cheat themselves. It is true that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. If you want to bring the worst in your wife let her doubt your fidelity. I know a woman who had been a devoted wife and mother. She had spent years putting her family and marriage first. She caught her husband with his young lover and was hell bent on getting revenge. She slept with her best friend. So, if you are cheating on your wife do so knowing that, she may end up playing ‘tit for tat’. Nothing is more surprising or harder to deal with than finding out your devoted wife has decided that what is good for the goose is good for the gander.
  • Women who are substance abusers are much more likely to end up cheating on their mates. Female alcoholics are susceptible to infidelity because their inhibitions will be lowered and their judgment impaired. Female drug addicts may sell their bodies for drugs. Either type of woman is likely to cheat without realizing what she’s doing.
  • The sexually deprived wife is very likely to cheat. If she isn’t getting satisfaction at home, don’t be surprised if she goes looking for it outside the marriage. Women cheat when they are unhappy in bed. As men age their testosterone levels drop. When this happens, they become less interested in sex or develop sexual dysfunction and are unable to perform. When this happens, a wife ends up with a husband who would rather watch football or movies at bedtime than have sex with his wife. He would rather do anything other than take the chance of trying and then not being able to perform. He withdraws from his wife instead of discussing the problem and coming up with solution to the problems.
  • Women who want to leave the current relationship may cheat. They may want to get caught so as to have excuse to get out. They must have mind up their mind to the relationship.
  • There are men who withhold sex as a form of punishment. Men who don’t communicate their dissatisfaction with something their wife has done but punish her by withdrawing from her sexually. Whatever the reason is, ignoring the sexual needs of your wife creates situation for her to cheat. When a woman feels her husband no longer wants her sexually, she feels deprived and uncared for. When this happens she becomes emotionally vulnerable. These are feelings that may spur her into going outside the marriage to find what she needs.
  • Women can be sex addicts, too. In the past these women were referred to as nymphomaniacs. This is a medical condition that requires professional medical help. In her mind, sex is not connected to love. Sex is just a game in which she gets points for every man she beds. Even though she may be in love with her partner, she’ll have sex with as many men as possible because she is insatiable.
  • There are women who have sex drive greater than her partners. If a woman’s sex drive greatly exceeds the sex drive of her husband, or her spouse is lacking in bedroom skills, she’s very likely to cheat on her mate. She’ll find another man to make up for her mate’s deficiency.
  • If a woman has had lots of sexual experience, or has had lots of sex partners before settling down, she will find it extremely difficult to stay faithful to just one man.
  • For a woman who has cheated before and got away with it, she is most likely to cheat again. That old saying, “Once a cheater, always a cheater” will apply if she cheated in the past and didn’t suffer any negative consequences as result of her infidelity. Also if she cheated before and didn’t get caught, she’s more likely to cheat again. The same applies if she cheated and her mate readily forgave her without holding her accountable for her infidelity.
  • If a woman is extremely egoistic, any man who feeds her inflated ego can easily get her into bed.
  • Some women suffer from low self-esteem. If a woman suffers from low self-esteem, she will be easy prey for the man who flatters her, make her feel good about herself and boost her self-esteem. Some women become nothing more than a mother, housekeeper, and wife who keep the family running, smoothly. This condition makes some of them feel frumpy and unattractive. Their self-esteem is in gutter. They no longer feel sexy, beautiful and desirable. If women in these state meet men who compliment them, show interest in them emotionally, and tell them they are beautiful, men who look at them and see something other than mothers and wives, they are likely to cheat. Women who are having issue with low-esteem are sitting ducks for men like these. They may find themselves willing to throw caution to wind in order to find validation they need and are not getting in their marriage.

Charles J. Orlando wrote, “After all, marriage is a legal and/or spiritual binding of two people, but if commitment isn’t there and loyalty becomes a matter of subjectivity or convenience, the marriage already nonexistent. Cheating then becomes a symptom of a secretly failed marriage.”

Women cheat because they are missing something. Mrs. Jackson said she loved her husband, a businessman; but couldn’t understand why he dropped back from their relationship. He was committed to passion and romance when they dated but had recently become all work and no play. He was too busy for her, with travel and his company taking all his time.

It is unfortunate that when men begin dating a woman, they put in lots of effort, they treat the women tenderly. Once the women succumb, they stop putting in that effort, but they still long for affection. They want to be desired, seduced, and connected with on a regular basis. So many men seem to be missing the point. They start strong, having a decent sense of how to capture women at the beginning but upon entering a relationship they are unprepared for the long haul and investment a successful relationship demands past the dating phase.

What all men must realize is that women are women before being wives and mothers. If a man stops bringing passion and effort to his relationship and stops treating his wife as a desired woman, he shouldn’t be surprised when she feels forced to fill her needs elsewhere.

If a woman cheats on a man for what emotional reason should he want her back?

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    • Chuksm profile image
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      Anthony Modungwo 23 months ago from Benin

      I quite believe you that women in the past were more faithful and committed to relationships. The feeling of self-independence and greed helped to affect modern women readiness for lifelong relationships. Read this stories in my blog, http://chuksm.blogspot.com/2015/12/worlds-oldest-m... However, I still feel that you can still get a good woman to have relationship with if you give it another try. Don't give up. As there are many bad women so are there many bad men. And as there are many good men so are there many good women.

    • profile image

      TheTruth55 23 months ago

      Most women today just Don't know how to be faithful to just one man anymore unlike Most of the women of years ago that were very Committed to their men as well. That is how i lost my wife that way since she was the one that Cheated on me which i was a very Good husband that loved her very much and was very Committed to her as well which it wasn't good enough for her, and i really thought at that time that i had finally met a good woman that i really Loved to have a family which Never happened since i never had children either. Now all Alone and have no one is hard on me, especially now that the Holidays are here. And with much more women today that are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, narcissists, and very money hungry, really speaks for itself why it is very hard meeting another Good one these days for me which i really Can't blame myself now that many women today have certainly Changed for the Worst over the years. And when you really think about it, Most women in the old days were Never like that at all since it was so much Easier for our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles that had it so much Easier for them finding love with one another since the times were so very different back then compared to today. And the ones that were very Blessed by God to have a good marriage with their family, really have so very much to be thankful for too. They really should go to church to pray and thank God for having the Gift of life that many of us would've wanted as well which really does beat being Alone which i am sure many others will certainly agree with me. Most women in the old days had to really Struggle to make ends meet along with many of their men which there was No such thing as a high maintenance woman back then either unless they came their parents that had a lot of money to begin with that spoiled them. So it is very sad how women have Changed over the years since Most of them are the real cause of Divorces today since they Cheat so much now more than ever. My aunt and uncle were very Blessed to have a very long lasting marriage which they are starting their 68th year together since it was really meant to be for them. For me the Holidays really suck now which i certainly know i am Not Alone. Peace.

    • Chuksm profile image
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      Anthony Modungwo 3 years ago from Benin

      Thank you dashingscorpio. You wrote so elaborately on the issue and I am quite impressed. You are quite right. Some cheaters want to eat their cake and still have it back. I will be grateful to read your comments on other hubs.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      Voted up and useful!

      The goal of any cheater whether it be men or women is to hold onto all that is "good" in the primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side. They're goal is perfection or to have it all!

      Most cheaters have no desire to go through a messy breakup or divorce. They don't want to replace one relationship with another. They want to "complement" what they already have. Fill in the gaps of what's missing.

      You made an excellent point about how much easier it is to connect with strangers in order to cheat. It used to be your spouse had to sneak out to meet a stranger. Today they could just as easily do it on their laptop at home while you're sitting in the next room. Some sites like Ashley Madison are specifically designed for married people looking to have an affair. A lot of folks look up old boyfriends/girlfriends on Facebook to rekindle days gone by, and there are countless other ways of connecting with others to have an affair such as at work, business trips, the gym, during "girls night out" or some couples believe in having (separate) vacations/getaways with their "friends". The further one gets away from home the less inhibitions they tend to have. This is especially true if they're in a party atmosphere.

      Every woman wants to know that she "still has it". By that I mean (other men) besides her husband thinks she's "hot" or attractive.

      It raises their self-esteem to (know) if their man left them that they could (easily) find another one who was interested in them. Deep down no woman wants to believe her man is the only man that finds her attractive. This why some women love to "flirt" with other men for (fun).

      An old Impression's song states: "The same thing it took to get your baby is the same thing it's going to take to keep her." We'd all do well to remember that line.

      However what's most important is for one to (choose) a spouse that shares their (same) values.

      After all the only people we can "control" are ourselves. Ultimately both monogamy and cheating are (choices) the "individual" makes regardless of their circumstances. We can't make choices or decisions for others.