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17 Things Woman Should Know About Online dating

Updated on October 12, 2017

Things Women Should Know About Online Dating

Online dating is a good thing. You get to meet people and have a chance at love. Online dating has been around for decades, but it is still gaining in popularity as a way for people to find relationships. When Pew Research Center first polled on the activity in 2005, few Americans had online dating experience but today 15% of U.S. adults report they have used online dating sites or mobile dating apps. In recent time online dating has become an acceptable form of meeting potential partners. Dating is complicated enough on its own; when you add in the confusion of online dating sites, it can be just plain intimidating. But it's easier––and more fun!––than you think. Digital technology and smartphones in particular have transformed many aspects of our society, including how people seek out and establish romantic relationships. If you’re interested in trying one of these sites out for yourself, there are a few things you should know about dating etiquette so you won't do anything you might regret in the future. Furthermore, you will have a better idea of how to act in certain situations and what to do when a given situation arises in course of your adventure. Take a look at these twenty three tips so you’re prepared for the adventure of online dating.

Anyone and everyone is on dating apps

The landscape of online dating and dating apps is actually evolving rapidly into a universe of niche markets and audiences and you have many options such as Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, OkCupid, The League, Happn, Coffee Meets Bagel, PlentyOfFish, Match.com, eHarmony and more. Once upon a time, there was a stigma associated with online dating. Online daters were regarded as people who were super desperate for love or hermits who were unable to socialize or whatever. For the young generation who has grown up with the Internet, there is little or no negative stigma attached. Each app and website has its own pros and cons. Figure out the sites that meet what you're looking for and sign up. If you are not satisfied, you can always delete your account and start fresh somewhere else.

There’s a Dating Service for Every Type

No matter what the type of dates you want, there’s a site for it. Are you a Democrat or a Republican? Protestant or Catholic? Latino or African-American? Before investing in a paid subscription, be sure to look beyond the big name sites like Match.com and eHarmony, especially if there’s a characteristic you seek.

Make your move and be brief

When it comes to online chatting, you should try to grab the attention of your partner. It is important to let them know that you actually read their profile and took an interest in it. Phrases like "I noticed that", "you mention that" and so on are used when making your move. Describe something that interested you in his profile. Try to avoid making physical compliments because they are cliches in the world or online dating. And keep it brief. According to statistical data, the shortest messages get the best response rate; the reply rate goes down as messages get longer. The first message shouldn't be longer than 200 characters.

It’s a commitment

Online dating takes a lot of time and commitment. You need to sign up in a dating app, fill in your bio and select and upload your profile pictures, search through profiles, send messages, and then sort through your responses. And then you need to figure out what your response will be. All of these things require some time and commitment. It takes just as much time to date online as it does to date in person. The difference is that it’s easier to meet people online. You can't just download an app and expect some magic smartphone fairy to do the rest of the legwork for you.

Too many options

This is one of online dating's biggest drawbacks. When people have a virtually unlimited number of options, it becomes difficult to make a choice. Unfortunately, many dating sites highlight traits that don't matter in the long run. That could mean you miss the best opportunities while you keep dating people you don't really like. In addition, most of the profiles on the site are inactive; meaning some of the people you think would be a perfect match for you are not active or is a free member and may not be able to respond to you. And this basically makes them inactive. There is also the problem of decoy profiles. Some profiles you see on online dating sites are not real. Some online dating sites use decoy profiles to keep you on their site longer — it is a business strategy. Some online dating sites even respond to messages sent to decoy profiles. A better strategy is to just know that a decoy will not interact with you long enough to form a date or get involved. Don’t feel discouraged when people stop responding to your messages. It could simply be because you were interacting with a decoy. Knowing ahead of time that this sort of prank exists will save you some heartache.

Be upfront about what you want

Don't play games. If you're no honest about what you want, you won't find it. Telling the truth is the backbone of every new relationship. If you're thinking about playing hard to get, online dating isn't a suitable play field for you. Your time is precious, In case someone sends you a message, you shouldn't wait to respond immediately if you are interested because by the time you send your response, they might have got involved with someone else. In the world of online dating you never know how many women the man has contacted, and how quickly the others may express his interest. And don't waste time on somebody who isn't on the same page as you. If you contact someone and haven't heard back in a week, it is alright to send them a follow-up email. If you don't get an answer after the second attempt, you should assume they're not interested and look for someone else.

Focus on the profile not pictures

Try to ignore the pictures at first and just focus on the profile of the person you are interested in, and then take a look at the picture once you have a better sense of who the person is. Compatibility in relationship is not based on good looks but on character. The problem most women searching for who to date online is that they judge based on looks and don’t make an attempt to contact people who could be great matches if they met in person. If you go beyond looking at the outward appearance then your chances of success will dramatically increase.

Profile picture

Your adventure with online dating starts with your profile picture. The purpose of the profile picture is to let people know what you look like, so you may as well pick your best shot and from the best angle giving the viewer an accurate glimpse of what you really look like. A girl with a sharp picture will get a lot more attention because good profile picture says a thousand words and is arguably much more important than anything written in your profile. Choose a headshot in which you are smiling. You have to make sure that the picture truly represents you. Post between three to five photos only. It might also be a good idea to have a full body shot so that people will see what you really look like even if you think you don't look perfect. It gives the impression that you have nothing to hide; self-confidence is one of women's biggest assets and is always appreciated by men.

Your profile

It can seem difficult to stand out in so many options available to online daters; the best way to do so is by creating an engaging profile that piques people's interest and makes them want to know more about you. Every little detail counts in the world of internet dating. This will make people more curious and it will offer them a more accurate picture of you. As a rule of thumb, you should forget about sarcasm. This is because in written text people might not know whether you're sarcastic or rude. In fact the rules of modern dating online are quite flexible, but there are some aspects you shouldn't make any compromise on. In order to grab the right guy's attention, you have to be truthful in your profile about what you're looking for in a partner and what you can provide. Telling the truth pays a greater dividend than lying, in the long run. By hiding the truth you are only hurting yourself and possibly sabotaging the relationship before it even begins.

There are some shady people on these sites.

Just like in real life, you are going to come across shady people on an online dating site. Sadly you may not find out their true intentions until it is too late and your heart is already involved. Taking safety precautions is always crucial, whether you're dating someone you met online or in person. There are some things you can do to protect yourself from such people on online dating sites. Before meeting up with anyone in real life, Google their names, look them up on Facebook, to make sure they are who they say they are and ask lots of questions to see if you can find anything that's misleading. It’s hard for people to keep playing games with you for too long. For the most part, online dating is safe; so don't let internet horror stories freak you out. If you agree to meet them let it be in a public place, like a coffee shop, bar or restaurant. Tell your friends or family members where you're going, who you're meeting and what time you expect to return. Keep an eye on your drink. Midway through the meal, go to the bathroom and call or text your friend to let him or her know whether you're OK or feel uncomfortable. If it's the latter, don't hesitate to leave. You also have to be on the lookout for people that are trying to scam you so that you don’t reveal any personal information that a scammer could use to steal your money or identity. It is not sensible to share your bank account information with someone you've only met online. A scammer can be pretty persuasive. For instance, he might want you to send your bank number so he can pay it some money into your account. It seems harmless, but could put you in a very bad situation. When you use online dating services, it's a gamble because you never know who you’re going to meet. Expect some untruths. It’s common for people to lie about things on their profiles, including picture. For whatever reason, there are people on these dating sites who choose to use pictures that are not their own. This leaves you fantasizing about someone who isn’t really who they say they are. Most of the people that use online dating services are truly looking for love. It’s just unfortunate that you sometimes have to deal with the liars, manipulators, and shady people.

Taking it to the real world

Online dating is just the starting point of a relationship. At some point, you're going to have to meet and see if you are truly compatible. It could be scary step and most people are not willing to rush into. One of the online dating rules is that you should have a phone conversation after the first 2-3 messages. Exchanging two or three e-mails is a good way to get a sense of each other's personality. Give him your cell number, not your home number. Or better yet, call him so that you won't have to give out your number at all. See if you have any chemistry over the phone. If there is nothing, then it's unlikely that there will be a spark in person. If there is it's time to meet. The perfect first date is a personal decision. For some, a midday coffee is especially effective. This is a good choice because it gives the date a time frame, since both of you will have to get back to work. Others might prefer a dinner. In this case there is more time and you will get a deeper sense of the other person's personality. In case your date doesn't really look like the profile picture, you shouldn't run; just be polite and keep the date short. When you are talking to someone online and finally meet, it feels like you’ve known them for a lot longer than you actually have and make some women to let down their guard too soon and engage in sexual acts before you normally would, had they met them in real life first. An amazing number of women would come straight over to their date’s house for the first date and are ready for casual sex—no previous date, no coffee, thirty minutes, it’s happening—you would find it hard to believe.

You may not find love on your first try

There is so much fuss about online dating in modern time, you might get the impression that once you post a profile you will be flooded with numerous potential partners and that meeting them will be blissful and devoid of awkward moments. You are wrong. Nobody is swiped right on 100% of the time. If you send someone a message and he doesn't respond to you, and you shouldn’t be discouraged. If at first you don't succeed, don't give up. Be patient. Maybe that person hasn't checked the app in a while. There are so many possibilities in life to spend your life with the right guy. Dating site etiquette can be easy when you start to understand how it works. All you need is a little bit more experience in the field. Rejection in online dating is emotionally exhausting. Do research on what methods have worked for other people, talk to your friends about what worked for them, and apply your knowledge to all your future endeavors. Dating isn't easy, but like with most things in life, practice makes perfect. These experiences will teach you what you want and what you don't want in a relationship. And you won't settle for anything less.

You have the right to say no

Just like someone won't respond to your message, at some point you likely will ignore a message yourself. And that's perfectly in order. When it comes to online dating, never say yes just to be polite. If someone asks you out and you're not feeling it, say no. If you don't want to talk to someone, don't. You don't owe anybody, much less a complete stranger, an explanation for your actions. It is your life. If they don't respect your boundaries, don't hesitate to block the individual.

You don’t have to lie about how you met

If you're lucky enough to find that special someone online, you don't have to lie about how you two met. Online dating is practically the norm now. Because if you can’t imagine telling your friends and family members you met your special friend on a dating site, you might want to stick to the old-fashioned way of meeting someone.

Becoming exclusive

After dating for some time, it is necessary to discuss how serious both of you want the affair be. Until you actually have this conversation with him, you should assume that he is still out there, dating others. Although you may have given up on your profile, you can’t be sure he has done the same. The best thing you could do is be upfront about the relationship getting too serious. If he's not ready to be serious with you, you can continue dating. If not you can decide to break up.

Breaking Up

If your relationship fizzles after a few dates, e-mail is not the best means to end it. It is better to make a phone call or meet in person. This will give you the opportunity of explaining yourself in a more personal way.

The ability to predict long term compatibility

Some people within and outside the industry doesn’t believe the claim of some of the major dating sites that they can predict whether a man and woman who have never met can be happy together. Predicting the compatibility of couples that is already living together with fair amount of accuracy is understandable but how complete strange couple will stand the test of time is something entirely different. No one has ability to predict with reasonable accuracy the compatibility of two strangers because before two people have come together, there are so many things not known about them. No one knows how they’re going to handle stress together so the claim by dating sites predicting whether two people will hit it off on a first date is a pretty amazing innovation.

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    • Chuksm profile image
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      Anthony Modungwo 11 months ago from Benin

      dashingscorpio you have done it again; giving a quality contribution. Thanks. I only hope our combined effort will save most women from shady online daters.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 11 months ago

      Excellent online dating advice!

      "Just like in real life, you are going to come across shady people on an online dating site. " - This so very true!

      The same shady people who are online are the same one's offline.

      The bottom line is (you) are responsible for the choices you make.

      Each of us gets to (choose) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      It's up to you to have your own "mate selection screening process".

      Much like a company looking to fill a position: Not everyone who sends in a resume gets a call from the HR department, not everyone who gets a call from HR gets passed onto the hiring manager, not everyone who has a phone interview with the hiring manager gets invited for a face to face interview, and not everyone who gets a face to face interview is offered the position! You too should have "mate selection" process!

      Too often a lot of online daters actually HATE dating!

      This causes them to RUSH through the process or commit to an "exclusive relationship" without knowing they're compatible!

      Going out with every guy who simply asks you out is the quickest way to experience "burn out". It's important to have a set of "milestones" that a person has cleared which qualifies them to spend time with you.

      In other instances people just "assume" they're a couple because they've had a few dates. As Anthony states in this hub. Have "the talk"!

      "Until you actually have this conversation with him, you should assume that he is still out there, dating others." - Absolutely!

      A company interviews (multiple candidates) in hopes of finding the ideal person for the position! A job hunter should also continue to submit their resume to multiple companies until they've been offered & accepted a job!

      It's also a good idea to (research) various sites and apps as well as read reviews before selecting one. They're not "all the same".

      Some sites target various demographics or niches based upon age group, race, religion, hobbies/interests, sexual orientation, and political affiliation. If any of those are a "must have" for you then you might want to go with a site that is a niche dating site.