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2 B Honest

Updated on July 6, 2015

Honesty is The Best Policy

To be honest, you can know exactly who the woman is that is after your man, but yet you should never reveal your knowledge. Sometimes it’s best to see how things play out before you go off the deep end. You have a few choices, walk away from your relationship and let this woman have what you helped build, stick it out and see what the end should be or, find a shoulder to cry on should ever feel the need to do so. I will say this ladies; you can do everything for your man but if he is insatiable, then he is always going to want more than what you have to offer. Don’t blame yourself, men are good game players! Some men even have this way of dragging women along a road of infidelity, instead of letting her go so another man could love her properly…it’s disgusting. Women you aren’t innocent at all, how cool do you look holding on to a man’s ankle for dear life!? If the relationship has gotten to the point where he is literally dragging you, my dear it is past time to let him go. Do yourself and him a favor, take your wonderful self on to bigger and better things. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

To be honest, there are going to be many obstacles you have to face when it comes to relationships. You just have to know which ones are worth dealing with. If your partner does the same thing to you year after year with no intentions of changing, it’s safe to say, they will continue to do so, so long as you allow it. There comes a time in every man or woman’s life where they have to make a decision to do what’s right for themselves FIRST. You can’t afford to be everything to a man, who is nothing for you. Know when it’s time to get up, get dressed and walk clean, smooth, off! The problem with men in society today is they get too comfortable with us. We clean the entire house, we cook delicious meals and provide some of the best intimacy on earth. We wash their clothes and bundle their socks. We make sure they have food for work, but yet when we ask them to take the trash out it doesn’t get done. With a smile on our face and pride in our hearts we take the trash out too!! I am here to tell you sweet heart; any man that can watch you labor every day but yet ignores your needs of relaxation is a man who is CLEARLY only concerned with his well-being. You’ll be waiting till Jesus returns if you think he is going to pamper you the way you do him! He already has a mother, play your role to perfection…

To be honest its best to be a woman with a plan. Ok, so you see the entire play bill, you know all the actors and who wrote the screen play, if it is not something you want to be a part of you have the right to get up and walk away. No one can force you to sit and watch something that does not interest you. If you’re a homemaker like myself, I understand how difficult it is to just up & leave a relationship so suddenly. You put your entire life on hold to raise a family, and 10 years later he realizes you’re not what he wants. It’s funny how we as women can put our lives on the back burner just to make sure the men in our lives get on their feet and function properly in society. We love them and help them get on, then they have the nerve to get big headed as if it weren’t you up all those nights praying for him. The irony of it all! My second bit of advice would be to save your money! Every literal dime that you get needs to be tucked away for safe keeping. If he ever does get bold and forces you to make a decision to leave or stay, be ready to leave! Men give women an ultimatum ONLY when they know full well she doesn’t have the resources or support system that she needs to carry on with her life. So never let a man get you to the point where you are so dependent! It’s easier said than done sweet heart but who are you really fooling? If that man doesn’t love you by now…he never will.

To be honest there is nothing wrong with having a few male friends to confide in. With that being said, if you’re going to play the game, you have to expect to lose from time to time. Use sound judgement on who actually is a friend and who wants to be a friend with benefits. We are all grown and can do whatsoever that we please, but the last thing you want to do is get under another man before you get over one. Keep it simple, keep it cute, but allow yourself the pleasure of having male conversation to keep you level minded. Discussing personal business with certain females is a sure way to get your business spread all over town. Men are more proud at heart, they would rather keep the fact that they comfort another man’s woman a secret than use it to embarrass her. However, I will say this…some of these men are NOT to be trusted. They can smell a vulnerable woman a mile away & will use that opportunity against her for their own personal gain. Be wise my dear. Your body will respond to a man that you are attracted to, like the old folks used to say, “You play with fire, you will get burned!” Keep a strong mind and maintain the will power to keep yourself out of situations that could potentially end in more hurt and pain. People talk about sex so casually like it’s not a soul changing experience. Truth is, sex is probably one of the most spiritual things that man and woman can do besides praying together. It’s more than the actual act of intimacy but what transpires on the inside of the mind body and soul when the act is conceived. It’s perfectly fine to have male friends, however, I believe that physical intimacy should ONLY be between you and your lover. I am a woman, so I understand how things happen in the heat of the moment where neither of you are able to say no. I understand the desire to want to be held, touched, and loved. Just make sure while you’re doing all that touching loving and holding, you remember to lock the door ;)

To be perfectly honest there is nothing you can do to prevent a man from cheating if he has it set in his heart to be unfaithful. The way social media and technology is set up today, people don’t even have to be near one another to carry out an undercover relationship. Text messages, screen shots, memes, they all are a part of what destroys relationships today. Please don’t expect your partners’ family to have sympathy for you either, their loyalty lies within their family. If they know that he is cheating on you they will keep it just as much of a secret as he would. Period. Listen to you heart and know when you feel that something is not right. No one is going to be able to make that ultimate move but you! Its either you’re going to be in a committed relationship, or you are going to allow yourself to be in competition with women who have already won. Because let’s be honest, if you are taking care of house & home and he still finds the time to entertain other women, you my dear are on the losing team. Any man that genuinely cares about his relationship will NEVER give another woman the power to damage his relationship with slander. By doing so, he has non verbally said, “she is more important than you, I refuse to let her go.” That’s the bottom line ladies, how many ways does he have to tell you?

Truth be told it’s always going to be difficult to start over, but you have to start somewhere. How about by being honest with yourself. You have to! Does it take you being publically humiliated several times to realize the man you fell in love with isn’t the same man you sleep with at night? You feel the distance, you’ve noticed the change in behavior, even found a few messages…that’s when the pain will start. Your heart will ache, you will lose weight, and the very one who you gave your heart to had returned it in a worse condition. Trust me there will be tears and thoughts of causing bodily harm to a few people, but stop and think about the fact that there is life after death. No matter who comes and goes in your life, you will always be who you are, I hope that you be brave and courageous…to be honest.

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    • IWriteyouRead profile imageAUTHOR

      Kristina Riddle 

      3 years ago from Joliet, Il

      Your comments are appreciated !

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      3 years ago

      "To be perfectly honest there is nothing you can do to prevent a man from cheating if he has it set in his heart to be unfaithful." - Very true!

      Truth be told neither gender is standing on "holy ground" when it comes to cheating. Anyone who has seen episodes of "Cheaters", "Paternity Court", and "The Maury Povich Show" aka "You are NOT the father!" is clearly aware that women cheat on par with men.

      Even lesbians complain about their girl friends cheating!

      Ultimately one has to decide whether or not cheating is a "deal breaker". One strange fact is one truly never knows until they find them self in a particular circumstance. There's a major difference between what one says they'd do in a hypothetical situation and what they do when it happens in real life!

      You'd be hard pressed to find many women who say they would tolerate cheating spouses! And yet it's not uncommon especially among some of the most famous people; JFK, RFK, Martin Luther King, Bill Cosby (also an alleged rapist), and Bill Clinton are among a few well known men whose wives didn't leave them. I suspect those women previously would have stated they would "never" have put up with it.

      As you stated you can't control what another person does. All you can do is determine how you will respond. Expecting someone to "change" is unrealistic wishful thinking.

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them as (is) or move on. The choice is up to us!

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary"

      - Oscar Wilde

      If someone is lying and cheating on you they don't think you're all that "special". One man's opinion!:)

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