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2 Steps to Get Your Lover's Attention Back.

Updated on February 09, 2017

Do not assume things.

You feel like he is drowning away, keeping things from you, or he doesn't give you the attention he once did. What can you do to be in the spotlight again?

Once upon a time, a wise woman said: "Treat your man like a king and he will give you the world." She couldn't be more right. I know that you do not feel like doing this at all, because he is not paying attention to you, the kind of attention that you surely deserve. Or you have been doing this for so long that you are tired now. So what can you do?

You have to think also about the kind of attention you want from him. What did he do before that he is not doing now? Or what do you feel you need, but you are not getting? Are you giving this kind of attention to him? Because people tend to behave the way you behave with them, reciprocity is in the heart of all relationships.

Do not assume things. Do not assume that he has to do this and that, he has to take you to coffee shops or abroad. You have to do these things yourself, you have to entertain your own self. Try to be confident, not needy. We usually focus too much on what we expect from others, that we forget what are we giving to them.

2 steps

You can begin by analyzing the situation as objectively as you can.

First of all: Observe. What does he do all day long? How does he react to the conversations you open? Does he seem interested? Does he take care of you when you are not feeling good? Has he changed the way he behaves? Or the way he talks to you?

Second thing: Communicate. Even if none of the above has happened, but you anyway feel distant and cold and you seek more from him, communication is the key. You should be able to communicate with him without being afraid you will get a bad feedback, or you'll be treated like a poor thing that all she craves is attention! Communicate sincerely, ask him if he had noticed any change in your relationship, or if anything has changed inside him. Does he still feel the same about you? Is there any reason he has changed the way he treats you? You both should understand that lying, or leaving the conversations of this kind, it's not the way to solve the problem. In fact, it's not the way to solve anything at all! If you can't be open and honest to each-other, why bother at all?

Someone told me that if I believe in something or someone, I shouldn't ever give up on them or him. I took that to heart ..

You are raising the wrong question.

The question "How to get my boyfriend's attention?" "How to get him to do this and that.. ?" Should be else, more self-focused like "What can you do to become the most attractive, interesting, smart, happy person you know?" Once you solve this out and start working on self-improving you'll understand that only the best people can stay by your side. Those who know how to give and get, and how to keep any relationship fresh, those who know how to pay attention. You attract what you are, you attract people that deep down feel about you the same way you feel about yourself. The way you talk to yourself, the relationship that you have with yourself, sets the tone for every other relationship that you'll have in life, no matter if it's love, friendship, or family, or any other kind.

After this, you can come back to the first question "How do you get your boyfriend's attention?", and I think we are on the same page here: he was paying attention before, but there have been some days, weeks, or even months that he has lost his focused, or he has moved his focus on something else that is not you.

It's not that complicated.

Relationships are not that complicated if communication exists. But, if you take it out, and yet he does not change, then I think you should reconsider your relationship, or you can play the game. Become busy. Do not answer every single time he calls. Take your time when writing your reply. Do not tell him everything about your day if he doesn't ask. Live your life. You won't be anymore needing him, begging him for attention, because you won't even have the time to do so. Maybe you will even realize that he has his own life, he is busy too. Go out and do things without him. Share those experiences with others. And sure as hell, he will get jealous. He will feel like something's missing and he will want to get back in your life. He will ask questions, he will want to know about your day, your feelings, your thoughts. He will pay attention. There, you are getting his attention back.

If he does not react to any of those listed above, then it is time to move on, there's nothing else left for you.

From a guy's point of view..

Guys do not get the implications. So if you are feeling something different, if you are missing something, if you want him to behave differently, or do things differently, if you want him to tell you something... Ask him anything. Take him, sit him down and ask him. But don't ask like you're in the police station. Do not try to examine him. You two should have a not complicated conversation. If he begins listing things about why he can't give you what you want, they are justifications, they are not reasons! Do not ever fall for that. If he does want to take care of you, he will. Guys always find a way to give their girl more attention, more love. Maybe he is going through rough times, but once you talk with him, you should be able to solve things out, and he should try a bit harder. If you still feel like he is neglecting you, it's not your feeling, he really is! Time to move on people.

© 2017 Enchi

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