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9 Characteristics of a Good Husband You Must Know
What Are Some Characteristics of A Good Husband?
What characteristics should a good husband have? Four characteristics of a good husband which I want to discuss in this article are: He gives his wife space, tries to improve his communication skills, shares his wife’s domestic load, and remains faithful to his wife. These are four good characteristics of a good husband which I want to share with you.
Characteristics of A Good Husband
Give Her Space
Some husbands have too tight a hold, as it were, on their wives. They do not allow their wives to make friends. They do not allow their wives to socialize, or go to social gatherings. They enjoy their wives’ company so much that they do not want their wives to have girlfriends or boyfriends, fearing that the affection of their wives will be divided.
But you need to allow your wife to make the necessary social connections so that when tragedy strikes your family, she can easily fall on her social connections to support you. It is a wonderful characteristic of a great husband.
Conversely, if your wife is the shy type, or sticks to you like a hungry leech and does not want to make friends apart from you, encourage her to make other friends. Female friends can be invited to the home as often as possible. Have parties for her so that she can meet new friends. Encourage her to join associations or groups which promote the activities she enjoys doing. You do not need to go to the same social functions together. Encourage her to go for some social functions on her own, so that she can meet new people and make friends with them.
He Tries To Improve His Communication Skills
Effective communication is one of the most important qualities that enhances continued growth of your marriage. When there is good communication in a marriage, it creates an avenue for disagreements to be discussed and resolved, plans to be shared, and an opening for romance to be improved, thereby ensuring that the marriage can succeed.
Due to the upbringing of men where they are taught that “A man does not cry’’ or ‘‘A man does not show his emotions,” many men like to bottle things up when they are disrespected or when they are angry. They keep quiet, and try to hold back. But that is not good for marriage because when you hold things inside of you, it is bound to come out, and sometimes it comes out in insults, violence, or revenge.
One good characteristic of a good husband is that he does his best to keep the channels of communication open, and makes efforts to improve the way he shares his thoughts and feelings, and the way he actively listens to his wife.
If your wife does something that you do not like, let her know immediately. Discuss thorny issues, instead of keeping quiet, walking away, and feeling resentful of your wife. Later on when your wife asks you if you are okay, you tell her, “I am okay. Everything is fine.” And yet in your heart, you would be angry.
Give vent to your spleen by letting it out of your system. Free your mind to her. And then try to make the necessary compromises to ensure that the marriage goes on.
It is disgraceful for a husband to extend his hand to hit a woman. But some husbands, out of frustration and because they do not give vent to their spleen and discuss issues openly with their wives, do that.
It requires a lot of courage at times to voice out how you are feeling because you feel that when you tell your wife how you are feeling, she will be upset. But you have to do it so that the issue will be resolved for peace to be maintained in the home.
The manner and tone of your voice can make your wife lose interest in an issue. Talking in a lecturing or patronizing way can make her resentful, and she will not want to hear the message you want to put across. Anger, coldness, irony, sarcasm in your tone will also put her off.
Learn to speak to her as your equal partner in the marriage. Speak with respect. Let your speech honor her. Compliment her often. Appreciate the efforts she is making to support you.
Improving your communication is one of the top characteristics of a good husband and you must endeavor to keep working at making your communication better.
He Shares Her Domestic Load
Another characteristic of a good hubby is to share domestic duties with your wife. Helping your wife with the household chores shows that you love her, and it is one of the characteristics of a good husband according to the Bible.
You can make your wife’s burdens in the home easier by putting things away after using them. For example, you can decide to put your socks away when you remove them, instead of expecting your wife to come and put them where they should go.
After a husband and wife have both worked all day outside the home, should the wife alone bear the burden of work in the house while the husband relaxes?
The Bible counsels: “Husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies” (Ephesians 5:28). If at the end of the day you are tired and want rest, it is likely that your wife feels the same way, perhaps more so. It is appropriate and loving for you to lessen her burden. If you want to be a good, godly husband, then do your best to lessen the domestic burden of your wife.
Look at the positive side of helping her. She can reserve some energy for marital relations. Let this motivate you to give her a helping hand at home.
He Is Faithful To His Wife
It is an exceedingly wicked thing to be guilty of unfaithfulness to your wife-- in any way, shape, or form. Some men cheat with other women and with their coworkers because they say their wives have too many negative issues. You have shortcomings yourself, don’t you? You want to be appreciated for your good qualities, even if they are not always evident, and loved in spite of your failings, but why should you assume it is any easier for your wife?
Fundamentally marriage exists to teach us how to love. When you treat your wife as a precious gift and see her as being valuable in her own right, and not as a useful appendage to you, you learn to get outside of yourself and really see the wonder of another human being.
Some husbands use frequent quarrels they have with their wives as an excuse to cheat with coworkers. When you look at conflict between your wife and yourself as an opportunity to grow, you will find an alternative to anger and despair. When you see your marriage as a place where you can learn about loving, when you are not afraid to see only glory but the imperfections you have as well, you will grow up and be a better husband.
So, make up your mind to stay with your wife no matter what comes your way as a couple. When she is doing something which you dislike, let her know that what she is doing is getting on your nerves. Learn to accommodate her imperfections. Deal with issues, and do not run away from her physically and emotionally.
Don’t forget the grass looks green on the other side, but may not be as green as you think. The woman you think is better than your wife can turn out to be worse in the long run. Make your marriage the kind of marriage you want it to be.
Remaining faithful to your wife despite her weaknesses shows maturity, and it is one of the best characteristics of a good husband.
Another characteristic of a good husband is that he forgives his wife when she offends him. A good husband will not harbor ill-feelings in his chest, but will confront his wife with her fault immediately she offends him so that peace can be made quickly to maintain the marital harmony. Not only does a good husband forgive, he also forgets. He does not keep harping on the wrongs his wife did in the past, but decides that, “what happened yesterday has happened, but we must move on as a family unit.”
Shows a Sense of Humor
Life can beat couples down at times when the storms and challenges of living rock the boat of marriage, and sometimes threaten to sink the boat. In such times, a good husband tries to maintain the mental sanity of himself and his wife by making jokes so that the couple can laugh away some of their sorrows. A good husband tries to see the positive side of the situation, and infects the atmosphere in the home with levity so that he and his wife can have a reason to go on living.
He is Mature About Handling Finances
One characteristic of a good husband is that he balances well his spending habits with the need to save. A good husband knows it is his responsibility to take care of his wife and to spend on her, but he does not spend to the degree where he will drive the family into debt. He will always remember that there are bills to pay, and so he will spend within his means so that he can shoulder the greater part of the burden of paying the bills.
A good husband will team up with his wife to draw up the family budget and make sure he and his wife spend within reasonable limits of that budget.
A good husband is a knowledgeable consumer who does research before he purchases items so that he can know where the family can get the best deals that can save money. He also makes sure he records all his purchases in a month in his checkbook so that he can keep track of expenses, and prevent overdrawing from his bank account.
He is Not Selfish
A husband who thinks of himself all the time, and only thinks of ways he can satisfy his needs, but does not care about the needs of his wife, is not a good husband.
A good husband thinks more of his wife and her comfort, than he thinks of his own comfort. He is constantly thinking, “How can I make my wife more comfortable in this marriage? What habits do I need to work on so that my wife will find it easier to live with me? How can I give my wife more so that I can make her happier than she is now? What are the sacrifices I need to make so that my wife’s life will be a bit easier?
He Must Be a Courageous Soldier
A soldier in active duty on the battlefront endures a vigorous life. He cannot enjoy a life of ease; he must be ready to do what the commander orders. Just so, the good husband is absolutely focused on his wife and his responsibilities to her. He does not allow many distractions to let him lose focus of giving his wife quality time at home. He does not spend hours on end with friends just talking about women, or sports, or drinking with them, whilst his wife is in the house feeling lonely.
At home, the good husband puts aside the newspaper he is reading wife, or stops watching the program he is viewing on television, to give his wife attention if she so requires.
A Few Things You Can Do to Be a Good Husband
- Allow your wife to have some interests of her own. Let her network and build relationships with other wives, especially wives in your neighborhood. Allow her to pursue her dreams and passions, if they will not lead to a breakup of the family.
- Improve the way you talk to your wife. Speak to her in a respectful tone as your equal, and not in a condescending manner, as if you feel she is your servant.
- Do not just hear your wife, but listen to her. Give her attention when she wants to speak to you. Stop whatever you are doing and give her your whole focus so that she will feel she is special to you.
- Forgive her when she wrongs you. Remember that you have also wronged her, and let it make you willing to let go of the pain she has caused you.
- Make her laugh as often as you can. Make funny faces at her, pantomime, say funny words to her, tickle her when you are in bed together, and try to make jokes out of difficult situations.
- Surprise her with gifts at times when she is not expecting them, and not only when you are celebrating anniversaries and special occasions. But, also encourage her to save and invest, and impress upon her the need to grow some money for your future.
- Share with her, especially your time and your heart. Manage yourself properly so that you can make some hours every week just to talk with her and make her feel wanted. Share your heart with her by telling her your fears, worries, and share your visions for the future with her so that she will feel a very important part of your life.
Characteristics of A Good Husband
Would you say you are a good husband?
© 2014 Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio