- Gender and Relationships
"Violent Love" Relationships | 20 Signs Your In One
20 Signs Of A Violent Love Relationships
A "Violent Love" relationship is not always easy to identify looking from the inside out, it can often appear as minor feelings of aggression or frustration from your partner.
If these signs show up when you are dating, there is little chance that they will change and only increase with severity as time goes on, little changes from when people are dating to when they get married, Unless your partner is treated by an abuse specialist under court supervision, there is rarely ever any change.
If you happen to notice several of these signs in the dating period, your best bet is to walk out before you are get locked into a seriously unhealthy relationship. If you see evidence of emotional, verbal, or physical violence, that alone is serious enough to warrant action. For the convenience of this article, I will use the word "He", but you may substitute it for she as it can go both ways.
Sign # 1:Too Good To Be True
In the courtship period, is he "sweeping you off your feet." If he is too good to be true, then that's not who he really is. Has he become totally occupied with you, such as calling you every hour just to "hear your voice," leaving and picking you up at work, doing things and activities you were doing for yourself, and thus taking charge of your life?
Sign #2:Temper Outbursts
I know why we all get angry or upset from time to time, but does he have outbursts of temper that involve things such as cussing, kicking doors, throwing things around, it doesn't have to be directed at you, but towards anybody or anything.
Sign #3: Demeaning or Violent Language
Does he employ derogatory terms for other women like chick, slut, broad, etc.?
Sign #4:Sexist Attitude
Does he have strong ideas he likes to share about the position and place of men vs women? For example, does he say or suggest that "women should know their place."?
Sign #5: Insults
When you express your opinions, does he put them down? or laugh at your beliefs? Does he make you feel, ignorant, dumb, stupid, or incompetent?
Sign #6: Psychological Abuse
He may say things like "You're no good."Maybe he make you feel like you are not doing anything right or you wouldn't be able to make it in the world without him.
Sign #7: Ridicule:
Does he make fun or say hurtful things to you when you are alone or in other peoples presence?
Sign #8: Rage About Past Relationships
He brings up is ex's or past relationships, or experiences of previous dates, notice how he talks about his previous ex's, is there a sound of rage or anger towards one of those previous relationships and does he call them names or insults them? Just remember, when he moves on he may very well turn threat same rage and intensity of anger towards you.
Sign #9: Abusive background
He was abused as a child or he say his mother or sisters being abused when he was a child. He may be in need of good counselling and guidance before he can free of the cycle of violence that is often associated with those experiences.
The only exception may be when he admits that was subjected to those experiences and there is not way he would turn around and do it to his partner or children.
Sign #10: Always Blaming Others
Does he have the bad habit of always blaming others for the things he does or things that happen to him?
Sign #11: Alcohol and Drug Abuse
Does he have a drinking or drug problem?
Sign #12: Physical or Verbal Abuse Directed At The Public
Does he happen to be abusing to people he meets in public? Maybe he yells and screams at drivers or uses profane language at people who make seemingly small mistakes in public.
Sign #13: Incredibly Critical of You or Your Family
Does he consistently say negative things about you or your family?
Sign #14:Extreme Sexual Jealousy
Does he say he "loves you so much" he just can't "stand" when you are in he company of other people?
Sign #15: Possessive Behavior
Does he get unhappy or upset when you spend time with family and friends?
Sign #16: Restrictive and Controlling Behavior
Does he tell you not to stay in contact with your family and friends?
Sign #17: Jealous Accusations
Has he seriously or even jokingly said that you were attempting to attract other guys by the way you dress, behave, or walk?
Sign #18: Checking and Tracking
Does he track where you went, who you met with, how much you money you spent, or why it took you so long to get return.?
Sign #19: The Use of Coercion or Force
Maybe he has threatened to hit you or coerced you for a sexual act. Or he has done it before but apologizes profusely after the fact and for previous occurrences and premises to make it up to you. This is a very serious sign
He more than likely will repeat physical or violence unless he truly acknowledges that he has a problem and seeks out treatment to take care of it.
Sign #20: Violence Under The Influence of Drugs or Alcohol
He might become violent under the influence of alcohol and do things he later regrets. I'm referring to acts of a more serious nature as most people do things they regret while under the influence.
If you find yourself with someone who expresses more than one of these behaviors more than what would seem normal, it would be a good idea to sit back and really examine your relationship.