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21st Century Husband and Wives Part 2

Updated on October 27, 2013

The Word of God is Spiritual Food for the Empowerment of our Soul!

In the last few decades we have seen an immense shift within our world. The Word of God has become optional for many. Quite often it is selected partially to prove a given point, but readily abandoned when that point does not suit the agenda. Or in fact when it brings discomfort or conviction you are subject to be labeled legalistic and or judgmental! In either case the need to delve deeper into the meaning of the Word of God is necessary. The Word of God is meant to be the “Life Manual” for those of us who are or claim to be believers. The Holy Spirit is available to help us better understand the principles of God's Word! Pray sincerely and ask the Lord to reveal to you its intended meaning. Then apply it to your own persoinal life daily. It is very importatnt to Know what you believe if you claim to be a Christian. The Word is the necessary spiritual food for the empowerment of our souls given to us by God our Creator.

Submission is a Choice

To be submissive does not mean to be a doormat or weak. It is a position of discipline and strength. This type of submissiveness again infers meekness. This is power under control as well as part of the Fruit of the Spirit. To many the idea of submission is outdated. But in reality submission is a choice. Submission in marriage should be mutual. The choice here is to trust God for the outcome of your sincere behavior and obedience to His Word. We in ourselves have the power to change no one. We can however have a degree of influence. Only with God is the impossible possible! God can open the heart so that it is receptive to receive your sincere intentions in the manner in which it they are intended.

The life of the believer is one of continual spiritual growth and discovery! This is why it is so important to spend time with the Lord in His Word! Unlike the world each day we are supposed to prepare as though the Lord were going to return. The Word of God cleanses our hearts and strengthens us to live our lives to please God. As we grow spiritually we become better equipped to discern and resist the spiritual warfare that wants to destroy marriage the way God intends. Marriage is a partnership where husband and wife work together and prepare for the day when they will meet the Lord face to face! Where they create a healthy living environment that welcomes and embraces the principles of God! The beauty of it all is it results in Eternal life in Heaven with the LORD!

Marriage is honorable in the eyes oif God! The key words here are “purity, peace and reverence.” God knows our hearts and despite what anyone else thinks this is what is important. It is through the blood of Jesus Christ that we can become cleansed from all unrighteousness...” This is a daily ongoing process.


Inner Beauty is Really What Makes A Woman Attractive

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in GOD’S sight. “

Does this mean that women should not dress nicely? No! Not at all. It means that our main goal should be to tend the inner garden of our mind and soul and take care of our emotional and mental wellbeing. When we do the inner beauty of or souls will enhance our outer beauty. This is what really makes a woman attractive! Keep in mind that men tend to be more visual in their attraction. There are many instances in the Bible of women who were beautiful amd attractive. Sarah, Esther and Rebekah to name a few and there are many more. Tastefully develop your own personal style! It is what God thinks about us is what should matter most.

"For this is the way the Holy women of the past who put their hope in GOD used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."

Here in this passage of scripture Sarah a beautiful woman is mentioned as one of the women who was submissive to her own husband. Abraham her husband is known as the father of nations. The Word teaches us that the Lord bestowed an ageless blessing upon him for his faithfulness to God. There is wonder working power in the Word of God. When embraced it emits an ageless inner beauty that radiates from within. It was Sarah who was far beyond the childbearing age when she gave birth to her son Isaac. This was a miracle in itself because Sarah was in her nineties but yet still attractive!

Husbands in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” I Peter 3:1-7


Submission in the biblical sense is not one sided. God tells the wife to be submissive but yet he charges the husband go be considerate and respectful. These are both qualities of submission. Together both husband and wife are joint heirs to the blessings of our Lord as they honor the Lord within their marriage. The Word is clear that the husband's prayers are hindered when he walks in error or disregards his wife. We should not only honor our marriages but the marriages of others! Each day is a precious “GIFT!” from God, when we honor our marriage vows and respect our covenant agreement we honor God. This is how we establish a healthy environment to welcome children and bring them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. This is what also helps us to develop healthy boundaries. When a husband and wife are on one accord the presence of the Lord is welcomed within their marriage. There is power when two "Touch and agree in Jesus Name!" Although “the 21st century has ushered in some strange and disturbing beliefs about marriage “Holy Matrimony” still remains to be God’s design for marriage. Marriage HIS Way remains honorable in the eyes of God!


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    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile imageAUTHOR

      DeBorrah K Ogans 

      3 years ago

      Stars, Wonderful! Be Encouraged. My prayer is that the Lord will continue to strengthen you. What a beautiful family you are! Thank You for stopping by. May our Lord continue to Bless & Keep You, Joann & Becky in HIS Love & care!

    • stars439 profile image


      3 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear Mr.s DeBorrah :

      A very lovely, and logical hub on behalf of respectability in marriage. You're thoughts are right , and good. God Bless You, and you're precious family dear heart.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile imageAUTHOR

      DeBorrah K Ogans 

      4 years ago

      Nobody, How marvelous to know that “GOD IS LOVE!” As we sincerely follow the Lord He will teach us how to love our spouses properly. This creates a marvelous healthy bond and increases one another’s desire to submit. Submission is not a position of weakness but a position of grace. It’s beautiful because it brings harmony. Both husband and wife must pray for discernment…

      As you well stated” When I lead (and am not following Christ) she is not bound to follow. Indeed, she is to follow Christ and let me know so I can see the error of my way.” Amen! Love teaches us to do what is best for the marriage. When we honor our marriages and the marriages of others we honor God!

      Your comments are always welcomed and appreciated. Thank You for sharing your godly wisdom. Bob and for stopping by to share, In HIS Love, Grace Joy, Peace & Blessings! May our Heavenly Father continue to knit your hearts together in HIS LOVE!

    • no body profile image

      Robert E Smith 

      4 years ago from Rochester, New York

      The Bible does say to "submit to one another" I as the man am to lead by doing not by telling. I follow Christ and then I turn to see if my wife follows. I am not dictating her to follow. When she does follow (as I follow Christ) I know she is blessed. When she decides not to follow (as I follow Christ) I know she is convicted that she should have followed. When I lead (and am not following Christ) she is not bound to follow. Indeed, she is to follow Christ and let me know so I can see the error of my way. She is given wisdom that I as a man don't get because she is a woman. I rely on her to be the second pair of eyes and maybe the first pair on occasion. Great Article sister, DeB. Love you, Bob.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile imageAUTHOR

      DeBorrah K Ogans 

      4 years ago


      No doubt it has been difficult having the cancer and its lingering aftermath. But please do not think of this as God doing something to you. Disease and sickness entered this world due to the fall of man. The breath that you breathe is a gift from God and each day is a also a precious gift! You are still here on this side of Heaven and there is more to accomplish. You are a strong man to have gone through this use that strength now to build a good growing lasting marriage.

      It is natural to want to have fathered a child biologically. Perhaps in time some of the void that you feel can be fulfilled as you share that desire with your wife’s children and grandchildren. All children belong to God! We as parents are just entrusted to care for them in a loving healthy manner. Providing them with a safe environment to enjoy is invaluable!

      I understand that there are cultural differences but you both can manage through them as you appreciate your uniqueness’s and work at trusting one another more. Although you are financially challenged, helping to make and provide a healthy home environment is priceless. Becoming more sensitive to one another and encouraging transparency will be most helpful! Great communication is key to a good marriage. Make sure you both take the time to share some fun activities together. Laughter is medicine for the soul. Make sure you share lots of hugs as well… Remember submission is a choice. Try reading this post together with your wife.

      I pray that this has been helpful! In HIS Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings!

    • profile image


      4 years ago from "Somewhere", USA

      I must answer you in parts to be able to fully reflect on this matter and His will here.

      Thank you for your helpful words and your prayers also. I/we do truly believe in God and in His word and authority over us and I also believe that my wife does try as I do to follow His will that he has for each of us and for us as a couple. One problem is that we or I should say, have never been able to have children. She has 2 daughters from a prior marriage and 4 grandchildren from the youngest of her daughters. Foe some reason God has seen that I was not able to "produce", for lack of a better word, a child when I was able to have intimate sexual relations and now that I have had to have a radical prostatectomy due to having had prostate cancer I am afraid that I not only have E D but of course I would not be able to give us a child. I know that had I been able to give her a child that our marriage would be much sounder. However... I was very bitter that God was "doing this to me" but now I see and understand that He had His reasons for me not producing a child whatever it was. I still feel that a part of me was not and never will be fulfilled by the lack of a child to love and nourish and guide in His will and way, but as I said, He has His will and His reasons for everything and I submit to it.

      Alicia, that is my wife's name, was born and raised in Mexico. She has a Mexican pride and training that I as an Anglo will never fully be able to appreciate as much as I try. I was born and raised in the U.S. by parents of Germanic, French, Scotch, English and a just a drop if American Indian background. Something that Alicia will never be fully able to understand and appreciate as hard as she tries. And we do try to understand each others backgrounds. We do try to work together to accomplish our common goals and by and large we are successful most of the time. She does have certain problems though, take the co-mingling of assets.

      She has the feeling that if we were put all of our resources and incomes into a single pot then they would be stolen away from her. Far be that from the truth, try as I could I could never get Alicia to see that our economic strength lies in pooling our resources not in keeping them separate. So I have given up on this and if and when she does need or want any help economically I always do what I can to help her which is not always easy because I live on a fixed SSA income and by the time I get my personal bills paid and whatever household bills paid (the different insurances and the gas bill and others) there isn't always much, if anything left over. I love Alicia very much and will do what it takes to get our marriage to work. God knows just how much I Love her and am dedicated and committed to my wife and our marriage.

      Like I said, it will take more than one time here to fully reflect all the things that need be said. Thank you again for your response and for your prayers, we can always use them. Peace in your life and in your relationship.


    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile imageAUTHOR

      DeBorrah K Ogans 

      4 years ago

      God is a God of order. He created Adam first and took Eve out of him to be by his side… Together they are to be submissive to God and one another because they are to become one spiritually… I suggest that you take some time and read and ponder this passage of Scripture together with your wife. This should be at a time after you have prayed and are mutually seeking the Lord’s Will! God’s Word is ALIVE!

      If you are not a wimp and she is not domineering then there really is no problem? However if your wife needs to lead because she does not trust you or is insecure in following you, you have some work to do. The discord is a control issue! Being a nurturing stay at home father does not mean that you cannot be the head of the home. As a matter of fact it gives you a lot of control you set the tone of your home environment. Your wife stills needs to be nurturing to her husband and children… Together you should decide how the family and household benefits from any monetary income. You are supposed to be a team. Submission is mutual. You have the power to build a strong foundation in your children when you nurture them. You can instill in them great values and morals and the security in being a well rounded person... Your wife has a boss that she submits to. The Word teaches us “to be submissive to your own husband.” It is important that your marriage and respecting one another is top priority above all others. I pray that this is helpful! There is always room for improvement!

    • profile image


      4 years ago from "Somewhere", USA

      "Husbands in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” I Peter 3:1-7"

      "Submission in the biblical sense is not one sided. God tells the wife to be submissive but yet he charges the husband go be considerate and respectful. These are both qualities of submission."

      Then is there such a thing as a submissive husband also? I mean this in the most respectful way possible. I allow my wife to lead and I do the following. Is it possible that I am being a submissive husband according to the will of God and I just don't know that I am doing His work in this way. I am not a wimp and she is not a domineering Lady at all. However, when I attempt to do the leading and expect my wife to follow me then there is discord in the family. Perhaps it is Gods will in some marriages that the woman is at the head of the household and the man is the homemaker. I am still her protector and we share in emotional portions of our marriage but is it possible Gods will for me and I have not begun to see it until I read this article? Is this possible? Please post a comment on these observations. Also, are there any HUBS discussing submissive husbands or husbands that do the nurturing in their home?


    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile imageAUTHOR

      DeBorrah K Ogans 

      4 years ago

      MsDora, Thank You for being my first bold and fearless visitor!

      It is up to both the husband and wife to submit to the Lord and embrace His principles. God would not tell us to do something that we could not do! His standard supersedes the fluctuating trends of this ever changing world. God's design for marriage works!

      As you so marvelously stated, "Submission to Him enables us to submit to each other, the way He intends" Thank You for stopping by to share your inspiring godly wisdom! In HIS Love, Grace, Mercy, Joy, Peace & Blessings! Lord Bless You!

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      4 years ago from The Caribbean

      DeBorrah, thank you for being such a strong voice on the biblical directives for married life. Living by the world's standard robs us of the deep satisfaction which comes with obedience to God's standard. Submission to Him enables us to submit to each other, the way He intends.


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