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25 Simple Ways to Build Intimacy In Your Relationship

Updated on October 30, 2016

Ways to Flirt With Your Husband

Flirting is not just for single people looking for a life partner. Flirting can also benefit your marriage. Once we’re married, flirting suddenly becomes second fiddle to keeping up with the chaos of family life. Flirting, by definition, is playfully communicating sexual interest and attraction to someone. And flirting with your husband can reap lots of benefits. But when we’re married, too often we stop flirting. Why flirt when you’ve already got him? And if you flirt, you may give him the idea that you’re definitely going to deliver tonight. I’m all for having good sex. But honestly, flirting–like marriage–is not so much about just physical intimacy. Does flirting mean you must end in bed? No, not necessarily. Flirting is about knowing what makes your partner smile. What makes his day? What would be a help to in order to reduce stress. Flirting can communicate, yet again, that you still find your partner attractive and vice versa. It can create more intimacy with your spouse. I hear you say, “We are busy, stressed people and marriage isn’t always about one big flirt-fest. My spouse also travels most times, so flirting in person isn’t always a possibility.” You can still feed the fire of sexual intimacy any time he is around. Every couple has different ways to flirt and show love to each other, but here are 25 easy ways to add some flirtatious fun to your daily interactions with your partner:

1. Leave a love note on the mirror:

Using a dry erase marker (or even lipstick!), leave a love note on your honey’s bathroom mirror, your husband’s suitcase if he’s traveling, or I put them on his desk in his reading room.

2. Show interest

When your spouse is talking to you, put the paper down, step away from the computer, let the phone go to voicemail. Make eye contact. Ask open-ended questions that have nothing to do with bills, in-laws or household projects.

3. Kiss

Spend a little extra time kissing him goodbye before he leaves for work.

Tell a joke

4. Humor can be magical, reducing the tension of the day, improving the mood and atmosphere. Find something funny to share with your spouse. On the flip side, be sure to laugh at his jokes.

5. A Smile

Shows your husband, that authentic smile, from across the room, that can melt his heart.

6. Have a secret code phrase

Want to tell him you think he’s hot? Try a secret code phrase, like “Are we due for show tonight?” No one else will know what you really mean but him, so you can say it in front of the kids, in front of your parents, in front of anybody!

7. Wear something special

You know there are certain outfits that he likes that you wear. When you have some time to spend together, or want to make time, put on something your spouse likes that you feel good in. Put on clothes that make you feel sexy and confident. It’s fun to wear something that you know your husband thinks you look great in it. Dig out an attractive nightgown that you haven’t worn in a while and wear it to bed tonight.

8. Start a conversation.

Flirting is all about communication. You’re trying to communicate that you are charmed by this person and attracted to him. Tell each other what you like, such as “My love languages are quality time and words of affirmation.” Make conversation rather than reading the magazine or watching television. Good conversation inducers include a walk around the neighborhood or a cozy couch, candlelight and a glass of wine. Keep your relationship light and your friendship strong. Regularly enjoy date nights and other fun times alone.

9. Touch your spouse

Sit close to each other. Rather than sit at opposite ends of the couch to watch a movie, scoot in and keep each other warm. Very simple, quick physical contact can make a big impact. Find excuses to reach out and touch your spouse. When he’s walking by, smack his butt. Touch his face. Touch doesn't always have to be blatantly sexual. Get close to one another and let nature and your spouse guide you.

10. Use body language.

Just about everyone has heard about that come hither look. Using your facial expressions – from a wink of your eye to a broad smile – to indicate you are happy to be with this person in the moment is quite effective. It also happens to be contagious. This body language clues in the person that you’re open and receptive to their advances. Even after marriage, we’re looking for the green light from our partners for embracing, cuddling, and especially sex. Marriage does not turn off your need to be wanted. In fact, it probably makes the need greater.

12. On a cold day, sneak out and warm up his car before he leaves for work.

13. Go to a movie and sit in the back row where you can cuddle.

14. Hold hands

The next time you’re walking somewhere together—even if it’s just through the grocery store, parking lot, movie grab your honey’s hand. It’s not easy, but when we remember to do it, it’s a wonderful way to flirt.

15. Ask your husband to choose your dress for the day

If he chooses them, he’ll be thrilled.

16. Leave sticky notes in unexpected places

Write him a love poem or, if you’re not a poet, share a classic love poem with him. And try to always use the same color so he knows they’re from you. Send a love note in his lunch. Get the waitress to put on his plate when you are eating out. Get the kids in on it too. Buy his favorite candy bar while at the store and give it to him with a note that explains why you’re sweet on him. Write “I love you” or compliment him on his Facebook wall and twitter.

17. Compliment him

We all love to hear good things about ourselves, especially from those most important to us. Pay him an unexpected compliment. What do you admire about your spouse? Tell him about it. Tell him what you find attractive about him, why you love him, that you miss him, etc.

18. Texts

Send him flirty text messages. Text him about anything–song lyrics, memories of fun times you’ve had, what you’re wearing, what you are thinking. Texts. A “just thinking of you” text in the middle of the day is always awesome. Or even little things like letting the other one know you’re praying for them can go a long way.

19. Flirt in a crowd

Catch your husband’s eye in a crowded room and wink at him.

20. Perfume

Wears feminine cologne, it will make you smell good.

21. Spontaneous physical affection

Sometimes you can give your husband a hug while you are making dinner. Or anytime you go into his office and give him a quick hug and kiss. Not anything that will lead to something huge, but just ways to keep the fire going.

22. Surprise him with an unexpected date night.

23. Play Footsie

When you’re at a restaurant with tablecloths, slip your shoe off and let your toes explore his legs. Get him all worked up while you carry on a normal conversation. You can also stroke his thigh under the dinner table.

24. Next time you’re alone together at home, show some skin. Wear a short skirt or don’t button your shirt up all the way.

25. Slip into the shower with him when he isn’t expecting it.


Find what works for you, because not every idea that I shared here is going to work for you. If you have other ideas for how to flirt with your husband, please share them with me in your comment.


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