- Gender and Relationships
3 Misguided Delusions About Gays
Stereotypes I have encountered as a lesbian
I started this hub after a long conversation with my father that surprised me in more ways than one. Yes, I'd heard all of these theories or delusions before, but I had always passed them off as outdated; maybe a joke or an overused stereotype that no one could possibly believe anymore. Then I had a long overdue talk with my dad (who, after 6 years of being "out", still has qualms with my sexual orientation), and he had presumed the following and a number of other delusions to be true. Honestly, I couldn't believe that I was having to both defend myself and rationally try to explain away these false assumptions without getting overly emotional. Thus, I determined if my own dad had these questions or assumptions, who is to say someone else doesn't also?
Delusion #1: There is some sort of "Gay Virus"
Initially, I thought maybe this was a joke, but I’ve heard it so many times over that it blows my mind. If you truly think about this statement logically, you can come to no other conclusion, than this is a misguided fallacy. There is no gay virus, like there is no blonde hair virus, heterosexual virus, or left handed virus. You can't just catch being gay like you can catch the flu. A person is born with their sexual orientation, just as they are born with their gender, hair color, eye color and the like. If there were a “gay virus,” you’d have to assume that the entire population would now be predominantly or entirely gay because everyone has had an encounter with someone else who was gay, whether they were aware of it or not.
Furthermore, if being gay were caused by a virus, the entire medical community would have been up in arms about a "cure" decades ago. The American Psychological Association first removed the homosexual diagnosis from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) in 1973! And in 1986 all traces of a sexual orientation diagnosis were removed completely. This means that for nearly 27 years, a majority of the mental health field has been working to remove the stigma and medical discrimination of gays and lesbians. Yet today, we are still seeing far too much social discrimination and not enough accurate information and knowledge spreading throughout the world.
I like to say: Love yourself enough to accept what's different in this world.
Delusion #2: How can you know you are gay without “trying out” the opposite sex?
The easiest answer to this question is another question.
How did you know you were attracted to the opposite sex?
Yes, it is really that simple. Humans are not all programed alike. We don't come with operating instructions and a set of guidelines. Some of us have different skin colors, different hair colors, different eye colors, different personalities, and hundreds of other characteristics that, when combined together, create one unique individual. Being gay is simply another characteristic.
Why is it so hard to understand that gay individuals do not need to experiment with the opposite sex to know that they are in fact gay. Consider being straight, and someone insisting that if you have never experiment with someone of the same sex, there is no way you could know you aren't gay.
Is it really logical to believe that you, or anyone for that matter, knows who you are better than you know yourself?
Love is Love
Delusion #3: Gay marriage could lead to people wanting to marry their dogs/trees/etc.
This argument appears itself again and again among different groups who are opposed to same-sex marriage. And yet, it is incredibly easy to defend because it is simply not plausible.
Marriage is a union granted between adults who are able to legally make their own decisions under the eyes of the law. For example, minors are not legally able to get married without the consent of their parents or legal guardian (i.e. decision making adults under the eyes of the law). That being said, marriage is also a union that is granted to consenting adults. For example, 'Adult A' is not legally able to FORCE 'Adult B' into marriage.
Now, using these two guiding principles, how rational is it to believe that an adult same-sex couple consenting to marriage, will lead to people claiming they should be legally allowed to marry their dog because they love it? Is 'Dog A' considered a legal adult citizen capable of making it’s own decisions? Secondly, is 'Dog A' capable of consenting to marry 'Adult A'? The answers are simple and resounding - No. You can replace “dog” with any animal, plant, tree, or inanimate object you like and the answers will always be the same; objects can't make decisions for themselves, people can!
This scenario is preposterous, and quite honestly insulting as well. In my opinion, it is the modern day bigots' attempt to insinuate that LGBT individuals are less than human, and undeserving of dignity and basic civil rights. The fact is, whether lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, we are all human.
A Video by CollegeHumor
Prominent Quotes on being Gay
James Baldwin once said: "Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality."
Dr. Seuss famously said: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Harvey Milk said: "It takes no compromise to give people their rights...it takes no money to respect the individual. It takes no political deal to give people freedom. It takes no survey to remove repression."