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3 Simple Ways to Get Over a Married Man

Updated on April 29, 2018

How to Get Over a Married Man

How to get over a married man: express your gratitude and it will make you feel happy
How to get over a married man: express your gratitude and it will make you feel happy | Source

Introduction

Ama Duku had an affair with a married man for four years and she wants to know how to get over a married man. “Kwaku Ampratwum was a special man who cared a lot about me. So it hurt me very much when he decided to end the affair. I feel conflicting emotions in my heart whenever I think about him and the way he broke-up with me. On one hand, I still have feelings for him and I want to have the relationship with him again, although I know that is far-fetched. On the other hand, when I think about the manner in which he wasted my time, I feel so angry with him and I want to pay him back! Hmmm! I want to get on with my life, but it’s very hard: I find it hard to focus when I am in the office and I don’t feel happy when I am at home. And it gets worse when I am doing nothing: thoughts about the wonderful times we had flood my mind and I cry. How do you get over a married man who dumped you? What can you do to maintain your sanity when you can’t think of anything else but a man who broke your heart, but whom you still have feelings for? How do you get over a married man after an affair so that you can have some order and so that you can maintain the structure of your life,” Ama asks, with confusion written all over her face.

In this article, I want to show you what you can do to feel happy and what you can do to take your mind off the man and the affair so that you can have peace of mind.

Now, what strategies can you use to achieve this aim?

Do Things That Will Increase The Levels Of Dopamine In Your Brain

One way to get over being dumped by a married man is to boost the levels of “feel good” hormones in your body. And one of the hormones you can boost is dopamine. Dopamine is a chemical which is released by the neurons (or nerve cells) of the brain. This hormone gives pleasurable feelings to a person when it is released in adequate amounts: it provides a person with the desire he or she needs to go about his or her duties with happiness.

When you do things that will help to boost the levels of dopamine in your brain, you will feel satisfied and content with yourself. As a result, you will not worry too much about what the married man did to you or how painful the breakup was and so you are less likely to suffer a nervous or emotional breakdown.

Furthermore, dopamine gives one a sense of well-being and so you will find it easier to feel relaxed and in control of yourself and your emotions, instead of feeling anxious and angry with the married man.

Additionally, increasing the amount of dopamine in your brain will help you to feel motivated to find things to do always: you will find it easier to focus on your work and you will find it easier to occupy yourself with something productive when you have some spare time on your hands. Consequently, you will not spare a thought for the painful way you broke up with the married man and that will make it easier for you to start making friends with potential partners.

So, what are some things you can do to boost the levels of dopamine in your brain?

  • Eat a lot of beetroot every day. Beetroot contains a naturally-occurring amino acid known as betaine which is a natural anti-depressant and so can help to prevent you from getting depressed at the situation: betaine helps with the production of a chemical called S-adenosylmethionine or SAM-e which is needed for the production of dopamine; increasing levels of betaine in your body will lead to an increased production of dopamine in your brain.
  • Listen to your favorite upbeat songs that you can dance to often and dance to the music. Listening to these songs will make you feel full of life and it will give you the zest you need to continue enjoying life, instead of a moping and crying over spilt milk.
  • Research suggests that exercising for more than 180 seconds can lead to a significant rise in the levels of dopamine in the brain. So, swim for one hour everyday or run for one hour every day and you will be overtaken by a sense of euphoria.

Express Gratitude To Loved Ones

Another way to get over an emotional affair with a married man is to show your loved ones that you appreciate all the help they have given to you in life. Some neuroscientists suggest that when a person expresses his or her gratitude often, it can make the person feel happy.

So, make a list of friends and family members who have been there for you all these years, who have supported you through bad times and good times, who have saved you from trouble at one time or the other, and thank them for all the help they have extended to you in the past.

When you thank other people, you will enjoy their company a lot more and you will feel that you still have a connection with people who still loved and cherish you, and that can prevent you from feeling being used or dumped by the married man.

Therefore, write down the names of 10 people who have impacted on your life the most. Then, record voice notes or videos of you expressing your gratitude to them, create thank you cards on social media and send it to them to thank them for all that they mean to you, surprise them with phone calls when they least expect it, or visit them, have a chat with them, and then express your gratitude from the bottom of your heart at the end of the chat.

Doing this will help you to take your focus from how you feel and help you to redirect your focus to how others feel, and when they respond positively and show that they appreciate the fact that you remember all that they have done for you, you will also feel satisfied and content and that can help your emotional wounds to heal faster.

Develop Your Relationship With God

God is the friend to the lonely and despised and rejected. He is the God of love who binds up our hearts when we suffer emotional pain. He is the Potter who remolds us into another vessel when we are broken as a result of our own misjudgments and wrong choices, and when we need a sense of direction and guidance after a disappointment.

So, when you develop your relationship with the heavenly Father, He will comfort you and change your focus in life and help you to focus more on the spiritual and when you develop this new purpose in life, when you become more spiritually-minded, you will see that the breakup was for your own good (it is something that will help you to grow spiritually).

Additionally, when you develop your relationship with God, you will be filled with a sense of peace and that peace that will flood your soul when you draw close to God will make it easy to forget about the affair.

Furthermore, when you surrender your own personal goals and ambitions to God’s authority and you make God the center of your life, when you get to know how deep, wide, and high God’s love for you is, you will feel a sense of comfort and a sense that you have really lost nothing because you have found a Friend who loves you through and through and that sense of feeling loved will make you feel okay.

So, connect with God and get to know Him by reading your Bible for at least 15 minutes a day. God will speak to you through His word and offer You words of comfort and hope which will make it easy for you to continue living.

Additionally, pray often. You may say prayers such as this one every day, “LORD, I come to you this day to ask You to be merciful to me a sinner. Jehovah, I admit that I sinned against You by going out with a married woman and I confess my sins. You know I am human and so I will fail sometimes. Please forgive me. LORD, You are the God of love who sent Jesus to die to save me from my sins. I give You the glory for that great sacrifice which has made it possible for me to come to You this day. I honor You that Your love is steadfast and for the fact that Your love never ceases. I worship You that Your mercies are new every morning. Jehovah, please help me to get over the married man that I got involved with. I am prepared to do the right thing now. Please grant me your grace and show mercy to me and bind up my emotional wounds so that I can focus on my books (or so that I can focus on my work). Please help me to refocus my life on You, the One who never fails or forsakes, and who rewards those who put their trust in You. Love me, God of love! Help me, Strong Deliverer! Help me to move on, Great Guide! Help me to correct my mistakes so that I can become a better woman in the future. And please help me to find love, help me to meet and marry my own husband so that I can also find happiness in life. This I ask through Jesus Christ Your Son, Amen.”

Conclusion

If you want to get over a married man, increase the level of the “feel happy” hormone known as dopamine in your brain so that you can lessen the intensity of the emotional pain you may experience. Additionally, thank some of the people who have contributed positively to your life, and develop your relationship with the forgiving God who does not judge us when we fall, but who out of the abundance of the love in His heart gives us a second chance and helps us to become better people, when we give Him our will and when we co-operate with Him.

How to Get Over a Married Man

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© 2018 Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio

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