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34 Signs That Your Husband is Cheating

Updated on October 25, 2016

Signs That Your Husband is Cheating

Did your husband ever tell you the truth? That day when he said he hit bad traffic on his way home was he really with her? Perhaps the most terrifying question of all: is your husband out there right now, still lying, still cheating, while you are sitting at home or your office hoping he is telling you the truth. Of all the areas in your marriage affected by cheating, one of the worst is undeniably the lost sense of trust and the ways in which that has damaged your loving feelings and the overall sense of respect for your spouse. Below are signs to tell you your husband may be having affair.

  1. When your husband starts to guarding his cell phone, you need to be suspicious. This happens a lot. He suddenly starts sleeping with the cell phone by his bedside, or he takes his phone with him even he goes to the bathroom. He may turn it off when you’re together and say he doesn’t want to be disturbed while he’s with you, but he doesn’t want to risk her texting or calling while you’re there. If he won’t even let you touch his phone, something is up. In this day and age, it’s prudent to password protect your phone, but it can also be a sign if he suddenly starts doing it when he never cared before. Or he refuses to give you the password. He put his phone in the silent mode. His phone battery seems to die more than average person’s, making him unreachable for extended periods of time.
  2. He has more friends that are female than you do, and he has a few male friends.
  3. He has a reason why you can’t meet up with him. Like he’s not sure when he’ll be off work or he’ll be free from his friends.
  4. He stops initiating sexy time. He doesn’t want sex. He may not reject you, but he’ll go along with your rejection where he may have previously fought it. Now it’s like, “Sure, let me watch football instead. No problem.”
  5. You never know where he is. He falls out of the map more often than not.
  6. He is a shitty communicator and takes forever to text back, because he is busy with his lover, so it takes a while for him to get back to you.
  7. He occasionally agrees to plans, and then backs out –like telling you he can taking out but changes his mind when it is time.
  8. He can’t commit to you or to future plans even things like what you’re going to do with your career.
  9. He sometimes lies about random/inconsequential things at the time when it doesn’t really seem to matter.
  10. Every woman he follows on instagram appears to be a sexy looking, and half-naked.
  11. He has lots of numbers in his phone that aren’t saved with names. You can bet those numbers are attached to women who are having affair with him.
  12. When you pick up his phone to do something innocuous like check time he freak out and/or snatches it away from you with some excuse like, I’m having some official secret in it or phones are really personal.
  13. If you calmly approach your husband about the thought that something seem off or makes you feel uncomfortable, and he lashes out and make you feel insecure or insane. It’s because he is deflecting. A caring relationship involves talking things out and caring about one another’s feelings and validating them, while trying to resolve an issue in a constructive and healthy way.
  14. He is working late on a regular basis or, he has moved out of the house with no explanation.
  15. If your husband is spending more and more time with his new friend, there is probably more to it than mere friendship. Your husband may feel he has a lot in common with this person that this person understands him and things he is going through. Whatever the reasons for the friendship, it’s a big warning sign and one you should take seriously.
  16. A sudden need for privacy. If things the two of you used to share openly suddenly become private pay attention because something is probably up. He may start to password protecting computer activity. Credit card bills may be hidden. If you ask why your attempt to find out information that used to be common knowledge between the two of you, you will be accused of snooping or trying to control him. Big warning sign. He takes out new credit cards in his name. This is a sign he’s spending money on the new flame, especially if the bills go to another address or he has them delivered online only.
  17. If he tells you that he needs some space to figure out his feelings. Men who are involved with someone else will request more space, time alone or away from the family. He may say it is due to confusion over their feelings or stress at work. This can be a sign there is someone else and he is trying to figure out ways to have more freedom.
  18. Regular work habits change. Working late, going to work at odd hours or, putting more time than is normal on work related issues can be indication that your husband is cheating.
  19. Spending a lot of time on the computer. In today’s world, with modern technology, a person looking for an affair doesn’t even have to leave their home. The ease of internet chat rooms, online dating, led to alarming increase in emotional affairs. If your husband is online more than usual, hanging out in chat rooms and visiting pornographic websites then you have reason to be alarmed. I’m simply amazed at how many men forget that their wives are their friends on Facebook and yet they will flirt with another woman on Facebook. Must think women are blind.
  20. Secretive phone calls and more time spent on the phone. Emotional affairs occur primarily via the phone, especially cell phones. If you find your husband hanging up suddenly when you enter the room or erasing the history on the cell phone and becoming defensive when asked about it, then you might have to be apprehensive.
  21. When you observe behavior that just doesn’t add up. Not being where he was expected to be. Missing time he can’t explain. Money that is not accounted for. Receipts for things you don’t have, missing clothing. Clothing that does not belong to your family. Being caught in little lies about the details of the day. If something is off with his behavior, you should suspect cheating.
  22. When your husband starts dressing better, watch out. This is still a sign you should look out for. Did he suddenly change from pants and T-shirts to smart suits and shiny loafers? I’d add the wearing of cologne all of a sudden, or changing the cologne he always wears to something new can be signs. The mistress might have given him a bottle she likes better.
  23. Watch out when your husband begins making hurtful remarks about you. Picking fights all of a sudden is a classic ploy. This way if he ever get caught, he can blame it on you and say you two were always fighting. Doing this gives him reason to get mad and storm out of the house and thus the opportunity to meet his mistress. A cheater may also do this because of mixed emotions he is feeling about betraying you.
  24. He begins to drop a female name into his conservations. Apparently it gives him an adrenaline rush to feel like he can talk about her and get away with it.
  25. Talking about how ugly or horrible a certain woman is. This is one I’ve seen a few times. A man tries to cover up his attraction to a certain woman by criticizing her every chance he gets.
  26. He suggests separate holidays. This is clear sign he wants you out of the way.
  27. If you find a change in the behavior of close friends then it is possible that they know something that you don’t. Perhaps you are the last to know, because they wouldn’t want to tell you what is happening so that they will not be accused of causing disharmony in your marriage.
  28. Your husband is more attentive to your needs than usual. This may be due to the guilt feelings experienced by the cheater in the early stage of his affair. The attention will diminish as the affair continues.
  29. Your husband begins buying you gifts –lots of gifts. These are guilt gifts purchased because your partner feels guilty about betraying you and showering you with presents makes him feel better.
  30. When your husband’s behavior is causing a gut feeling in you that something is not right, pay attention to your instincts. Ignoring them could be dangerous so be suspicious when these things change. If you find yourself searching for excuses for your husband behavior or trying to convince yourself that he would never cheat then that is a warning sign something is wrong.
  31. When your husband constantly talks about your relationship ending when you fight or argue, be suspicious. He says things like “What would you do if our relationship ended?” or “If anything ever happened to us, I would always love you like a friend.” In general, he seems very negative about your relationship. Your spouse makes these statements because he has a lover to fall back on if your relation ends.
  32. Your husband becomes very moody. He seems very upbeat and excited when leaving you but acts somber and depressed when around you. If he is in long term affair, he will try to keep both relationships running smoothly. Any problems the cheater has in one relationship will spill over into the other relationship as well. This is inevitable.
  33. Your husband never talks to you. You live together but don’t interact. He becomes cold and inconsiderate of your feelings.
  34. Your husband taste in music suddenly change for instance, he always listened to country music, but suddenly starts listening to pop music. Your husband might be listening to and growing fond of this new type of music because his mistress listens to it.

You suspect he is cheating but every time you bring it up he denies the possibility. All the signs are there but you don’t have any proof. So pay attention to the signs and your instinct but, be careful not to confuse signs with proof. Your intuition is frequently one of the best indicators. If you suspect that your spouse might be cheating on you, do some investigating and then talk to him about what you have found. Do it in a way that is calm and courteous. Ask for honesty. Be prepared for lies. It is a sad fact that people (even people who never told a lie before in his life) having affairs become excellent liars. Allowing your suspicions to take hold of you and drive toward extreme acts can potentially undermine your marriage and certainly has an impact on the overall sense of respect and caring that a good marriage is built on. Trust your gut instinct but get hard, cold proof also.


If you catch your husband cheating will you forgive him?

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      34? Wow! :-) Voted up and useful!

      I tend to tell people to simply trust their gut. If you don't (trust) your mate then dump him or her. It makes no sense to invest time and emotion into a relationship/marriage if you don't trust your mate.

      The number one cause of "cheating suspicion" in any relationship is when your mate (changes) his or her behavior towards you. This is especially troubling if you (dislike) the change. All 32 of your scenarios deal with change.

      Most likely you are either a victim of "bait & switch" where your mate acted one way to lure you in and then later revealed their "authentic self" or they are indeed cheating on you. Either way you'd find yourself unhappy with the marriage/relationship.

      I've found a lot of people almost (need) their mate to cheat on them in order to give themselves permission to leave an unhappy or toxic relationship/marriage. Being deeply "unhappy" is not enough for them.

      I often say suppose you hired a private detective and found out he/she was NOT cheating but nevertheless their (change in behavior) remained; Odds are you're not going to suddenly jump up and down with joy!

      Cheating simply offers an "explanation" of (why) they changed their behavior towards you. Your unhappiness regardless of whether they are in fact cheating or not comes from their (behavior) change towards you.

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

    • Chuksm profile image
      Author

      Anthony Modungwo 2 years ago from Benin

      Thanks dashingscorpio for your comment. It is penetrating and deep. Behavior of your spouse can change due to your own display of unacceptable flaw/s, which he didn't notice initially. If you find that your husband is cheating on you, you may want to carefully approach the issue. No matter how angry you are, do not get violent, and try to keep your voice level at a reasonable level. As hard as it it can be, calm approach will yield better result. Have an honest discussion. This is where you can decide what your next action will be. It could help to find out why he is doing what he is doing.

    • profile image

      marian 2 years ago

      I never believed in spell casters until my life fell apart when my lover of

      6 years decided to call it quit. I was so devastated that i had an accident

      that left me bedridden. After 9 months of emotional pain and languish, a

      friend of mine introduced me to a certain spell caster, this was after I

      have been scammed by various fake spell caster. I was introduced to dr ovia

      ( A Spell Caster). In less than 72 hrs i saw wonders, my Lover came back to

      me and my life got back just like a completed puzzle... am so happy.. Dr

      ovia have all kinds of spells from pregnancy to love,from employment to

      visa lottery winning. He has spell to stop divorce,spell to make someone

      look attractive and others. here's his contact for serious minded people

      only, it might be of help.... droviaspiritualtemple@gmail.com. wow Dr.

      ovia...thanks am so grateful as you saved my life.I never believed in spell casters until my life fell apart when my lover of

      6 years decided to call it quit. I was so devastated that i had an accident

      that left me bedridden. After 9 months of emotional pain and languish, a

      friend of mine introduced me to a certain spell caster, this was after I

      have been scammed by various fake spell caster. I was introduced to dr ovia

      ( A Spell Caster). In less than 72 hrs i saw wonders, my Lover came back to

      me and my life got back just like a completed puzzle... am so happy.. Dr

      ovia have all kinds of spells from pregnancy to love,from employment to

      visa lottery winning. He has spell to stop divorce,spell to make someone

      look attractive and others. here's his contact for serious minded people

      only, it might be of help.... droviaspiritualtemple@gmail.com. wow Dr.

      ovia...thanks am so grateful as you saved my life.

    • Chuksm profile image
      Author

      Anthony Modungwo 2 years ago from Benin

      Thanks marian for writing a comment. I never believe in spell casters and still don't. If it worked for you, congrats, but I don't recommend it. I believe if couples work on their marriage, it will work perfectly well. People usually take their relationship for granted till problem starts. Show affection to your partner, and he/she will surely reciprocate.

    • profile image

      jessica 4 months ago

      I agree that if you plan to stay with a cheater don't try to find any information. However, in my case I needed it in my state in order to file for a divorce and come out of the relationship. You can't just say I think courts want proof or you end up spending a lot of time and money to fight it out! Finding out was hard, but I was relieved that I wasn't crazy and it's making my divorce go a lot smoother. He would never confess; therefore, I did the best thing for me...find out, no doubt, move on!!!contact hotcyberlord@gmail.com..he's a professional and will surely help you out,tell him from Jes

    • Chuksm profile image
      Author

      Anthony Modungwo 4 months ago from Benin

      Best of luck Jessica. How I wish your marriage could be saved.

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