ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

4 First Date Tips - Do's and Don'ts for a Successful Date

Updated on August 13, 2009

Awkward much?

Copyright: Universal Pictures
Copyright: Universal Pictures

Do's and Don'ts

Ah the land of first dates. These can be the most uncomfortable, awkward, get-me-out-of-here situations of your life. It's weird to sit down, often in a semi-fancy place, with someone you don't know jack about and try to get to know them. Everybody comes with baggage, issues and quirks that can take years to get past; definitely not something you can crack after 5 hours together. Why do we put ourselves through this anyway?

Oh yeah, because sometimes it's the beginning of exciting and other fruitful activities. All of a sudden, you stumble upon something that works. Hoorah! You're charming, your date is into it, and everything goes smoothly. But what if your technique doesn't work on the next date? Unfortunately everyone is different, so there are no guarantees when it comes to dating.

First dates are...

See results

The Setting

DO pick a neutral setting for a first date. The last thing you want to do is offend your date right at the start. Be creative though- the old, tired go-tos are well...old and tired. Do something that will make your date think, "Wow, this is fun and different!" Picnics, miniature golf, art shows...think outside the box. Daytime first dates can also be fun, especially if there's a fair or special event going on.

go somewhere loud where you can't even hear each other. No movies or concerts on the first date, unless you want to repeat said date later at another less noisy location. And anyway, it's better to save the movies and concerts for when you actually know what each other likes. I've had to sit through some pretty stupid movies I didn't want to see because my date picked them without knowing I would fall asleep.

*The Most Inappropriate Conversation

This example is taken from a true story. My friend and I were unlucky enough to hear all about how some dude almost died. We were at a club. Yes, a club. Unfortunately, we were in the outdoor area, so we heard every word this guy said. His story was long, boring and way too detailed for its surroundings. Don't be THAT guy.


DO keep the conversation interesting. Touch on a number of subjects, giving sparse details on each (just the necessities), and use humor on more than one occasion. There are very few people in the world who can't appreciate humor, and you don't want to date those lameos anyway- it's good to catch them early if anything.

DON'T talk about past relationships, give your entire life story, or tell any incredibly long, boring stories. First dates aren't the time to tell the story about how you almost died*(see sidebar) or why you've lived in 10 houses in 2 years. Save it for when you're actually getting to know each other down the line. Your story about how you climbed Mount Everest will be much more impressive when your date is looking to get to know the details of your life.

Take a gander at these gentlemen!
Take a gander at these gentlemen!

How Men Should Act

DO act like a gentleman. Emphasis here is on "gentle" AND "man." Very rarely will you find a girl who doesn't appreciate gentlemanly gestures. Be courteous and sweet, without being cheesy. Hold a door open for her and guide her through the menu if she can't decide. Be the man of the date. Have a plan for the night before you pick her up.

DON'T wing it. And do NOT make her decide what you're going to do. Women want to be led, not by chauvinistic pigs, but by caring men who have their best interests in mind.

How Far is Too Far

DO be affectionate. If things are going well, it's perfectly appropriate to hold hands, put your arm around her shoulder, and give soft touches. If things are going really well, a kiss on the first date can be appropriate, but look for signals that it's moving in that direction. A first kiss is not always how first dates end these days- waiting for the second or third date to kiss is just fine. So if your first date doesn't end with a kiss, just be patient- your date is a serious gentleman!

DON'T be a ho. Sleeping with someone on the first date, if you're looking for more than just a hook up buddy, is going way too far. If you sleep together before getting to know each other, not only are you doing things way backwards, but it'll actually stifle the getting to know you process. As your date will be more interested in getting you in the sack than wanting to know anything about you.

First dates are like riding a bike. The more dates you go on, the better you'll be at them. The simplest advice I leave you with is Be Yourself. Don't be the "yourself" that picks your nose and doesn't wash your socks, but be the self you show to strangers. And most importantly, good luck out there!


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • AmandaJon profile image

      Amanda Jones 

      5 years ago

      Excellenthub, nice tips, thanks for shared this info.

    • M. Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      M. Rose 

      7 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Suramya.K, yes it is true! For almost all women. Women can make decisions themselves, but when it comes to dating, we want men to make the decisions about what we do, where we go, etc. That way we can relax and focus on being the woman in the relationship. Most men are natural decision makers...women, not so much. Check out David Deida. He talks about this stuff a lot.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      "....And do NOT make her decide what you're going to do. Women want to be led..."

      Are you sure this is true? I think its just the opposite!!

    • rebu profile image


      8 years ago from Coorg,India

      Thnx for sharing

    • M. Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      M. Rose 

      9 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Great additions, Newyork. I think most people would agree that blind dates are even more uncomfortable than regular first dates! Thanks for commenting :)

    • Newyork204 profile image

      Wesley Barras 

      9 years ago from Anchorage, AK natural and be yourself. If its weird and you have to think a lot than its not going to work out. And stay away from blind dates.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)