- Gender and Relationships
5 Dating Guidelines You Should Break
You too can be this happy!
M. Rose is back! I've gone too long without writing anything on HubPages, so it's time to start again. For my awesome comeback, I've chosen stupid dating rules to conquer.
Talk to 10 people and you'll hear 10 different sets of dating guidelines to follow. Everyone has their own little tricks of the trade that they double-pinky-swear-promise are foolproof, but unfortunately there is no magic trick to dating. It's confusing, complicated, awkward and occasionally painful. To assist you, I've put together 5 common dating rules that you should definitely break. These guidelines just don't cut it in the world of dating.
1) A man must call a woman 3 days after a date.
Oh please. I thought the whole idea of being a man is doing what you want... not so in today's dating world. Men know that they're supposed to call after 3 days, and women know that too. Hello predictability! Women aren't even sitting around anticipating when men will call, we're counting down the minutes until the time a man is supposed to call. How boring is that? Men, call when you want. If you want to call before 3 days, do it. Be like mysterious Zorro, not like Ned the accountant who never misses a day of work.
Sidenote: If you don't plan on paying or splitting the bill, be more concerned about how much your entree costs than what it is...nobody likes an inconsiderate date who orders the $50 lobster on a first date.
2) During dinner, men are required to eat manly foods like steak, and women should order dainty foods like salads.
Eat what you want. What you eat on a date is not indicative of what kind of person you are. Men are appreciative of a woman who isn't so self-conscious or obsessed with her looks that she'll order something besides "salad, no dressing just lemon" or "chicken breast, light on the sauce with veggies instead of fries." And women enjoy a man who's secure within himself and doesn't have to order the biggest thing on the menu to appear manly (we tend to see through your compensating).
Now, I'm not suggesting you order 10 items, including 3 desserts, but if you want to eat pasta, eat pasta. If the steak sounds good, order the steak. Anybody who pays that much attention to what you eat is probably somebody you don't want to date.
3) Men must pay for everything.
It is the new millennium here people, and most womenfolk have jobs. First date etiquette still says the guy should pay--as in, men should pull out their wallet first: don't wait for her to pull out a credit card. But, don't be surprised if she offers to kick in as a courtesy.
Here's a great way to handle it if she offers to split the bill: Tell her dinner is on you...most women seriously appreciate a man who's willing to pay on the first date. Then, tell her she can pay at the next place you go to, if you have another activity planned. If not, tell her she can pay on the next date. This is a great way for a guy to show his gentlemanliness while allowing her to be a lady who's okay with splitting the bill (we do exist, men). This can also be a great segway into talks of a second date.
4) Movies are off limits until you've gotten bored with each other.
Piffle! While I don't recommend seeing a movie on the first date (you'll never know if you want a second date unless you get to chat), the classic dinner and movie date is still fair game for the 3rd or 4th date. However, may I suggest you do them in the opposite order: early movie, then dinner. Pick an interesting movie, and your dinner conversation will never get dull.
This is also a great way to see your date's analytical skills. If you're looking for a smarty and your date has very little to say about the indie movie with overlapping themes running through it, you'll know that your date's probably not intelligent enough to roll with you. Likewise, if you're looking for someone with a similar sense of humor to you, you'll know it's not going to work out if your date doesn't laugh during the entire movie. Seeing movies can be a great, easy way to look for compatibility with your date, without putting them on the spot and making them feel awkward. Who doesn't love movies?
Best type of movie to see on a date?
5) You must keep conversation very simplistic and non-personal for at least the first couple dates.
Yes, there are topics you don't want to discuss on the first few dates. Exes, your mental issues and deepest insecurities are topics to avoid. But that doesn't mean you're forced to talk about the weather, your outfit and the news. Talking about your personal life is the way your date gets to know you, and vice versa, but keep the tidbits you share light.
Try sharing your most embarrassing moments, what you were like in high school or what your favorite memory from your childhood is. Sometimes silly personal tidbits like this can strike up an amazing 3 hour conversation that otherwise would not have happened if you struggled to keep the conversation away from your personal life. As long as you stay on the light side of personal, meaning no talk about death, sadness or painful memories, you'll get to know each other and give off a good impression at the same time.
Now you are ready to enter the dating world. Break these rules wisely and may you have fewer awkward dates in your future!
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