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5 Love Languages for Singles by Gary Chapman

Updated on November 5, 2013

When we talk about singles, what comes to mind is being free. No commitment, no obligations and just being free from responsibility unlike married people. But, Christian singles are entirely different. They devoted themselves to the teaching of Christ, and that is to be Christ like. Christian singles are always looking for better ways to offer themselves toward the benefit of others, but before they can achieve that--they need to build a strong relationship with God. One of the way there is- is to read encouraging books that would help them grow.

The book called "The Five Love Languages for Singles" speaks of unconditional love that is good for single Christian. The author, Dr. Gary Chapman believes that in order to express love completely or receive it whole-heartedly, a person needs to learn how to speak the right "love" language. So what are these languages in order to speak the right "love"?

Does it mean that you need to learn it on your own way before extending it toward others? Maybe, maybe not or it depends. And my answer is yes.

It's difficult to give something when you don't understand the meaning of why you give. When a person gives, there's a purpose. Whether the person gives her/his time, money or energy- there's a motivation behind it.

In this book, "The Five Love Languages for Singles", it conveyed wisdom on how to express love in a unique way. It describes the basic needs that a single Christian must acquired. Though--it's not a must, but I believe that it is a book for Single Christian who wrestles with values, morals, relationships, and meaning. And someone who seek understanding about self and the world he/ she lives in.

What is Love?

For me, the perfect definition of Love is 1 Corinthians 13, where Paul illustrated and described love as something eternal and unconditional. Where there is love, everything is alive. And that everything is spinning and working in the context of love. Love, as what it illustrated in the scripture is a continuous process and it's not just a common emotion that makes people stop. It's like a special car engine that keeps going. A motivation, a drive, or an inspiration that makes the person grow and strive to be better, to aim high, to hope and to believe.

How do you express love?

Love can be express in many ways and through many things. A gift, by words, by service or anything a people can think of just to express love.

Can you hide love?

Yes, you can. But, in Proverbs--it is said there that "Open rebuke is better than hidden love", which means-- it is better to get hurt by a love of a friend than nothing.

Find out what is your love language in these 5 Love Languages the author is talking about.

1. Words of Affirmation

It is true that when we don't hear, "Good job", "You can do it" phrases of encouragement from our parents or from the people around us, we grow up thinking that we don't need these words of affirmation in our lives. And the tendency is-- we don't practice it either. Other people who grew up in the environment where they heard negative words, it affects the nature of their growth and what they hear from their environment may be evident on what comes out from their mouth. We are all affected by the words we have heard through the years (Chapman). The tongue has the power of life and death. If words hold a power to anyone, then- it is important if we know how to speak words of encouragement and we know how to take it either. Kind words can lift up the spirit. Words of praise would certainly make other people smile.

2. Gift

Gift is a token of appreciation from the people around you. It may comes from the family, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends and others who valued you so much. Other people would like to keep the gift for a longer time that would remind them to that person. For some people, receiving gifts is their primary love language. It is what makes them feel loved most deeply (Chapman).

3. Physical Touch

One of the important aspect in a relationship is to show how much you have loved and love the person. In other words, does your partner likes to be touch? If your significant partner likes to be touch, show it. Touch her/him in a loving manner. Gentle touch shows appreciation and love What about you? How does your partner/ love ones

4. Acts of Service.

Would you like to be served or you like to be served? If your love language is act of service, then, you like others to serve you in such a way that you'll get encourage. Act of service is also an encouraging way to show to others / or to special someone how much you care for them if that is one of their love language.

5. Quality Time

If to spend time with others is your language of love, then, it is normal that you get encourage when you spend quality time with them. Quality time is important in a relationship. People sometimes couldn't give quality time to their love ones because of busy schedule and priorities.


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