- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
5 REASONS WHY SMART GIRLS SOMETIMES ACT DUMB
Us women are definitely NOT dumb. However, sometimes we act like we are...on purpose. Or perhaps you have a friend who will suddenly transform into a giggling fluffball in certain situations, and all you can do is scratch your head in bewilderment and wonder why she does it.
There is actually an article online called How to act Like a dumb Girl in 16 Steps. It lists important rules such as: Trip over air. Laugh a lot over nothing. Color your hair blonde. It's not even a clever "tongue in cheek" sort of article. It's just disturbing because I honestly think the person who wrote it is really serious about....acting dumb!
Dumb women. Okay, they're funny on TV and in movies. Think: Christina Applegate as Kelly Bundy. Anna Farris, the breathy not-too-swift star of the Scary Movies and House Bunny. Or what about that dumb-but-cute blonde on the first Mean Girls movie?
But what about in real life? Or I should say, most ordinary people's real life, as opposed to Paris Hilton's real life where you can get away with never giving an intelligent answer and just responding with "That's hot".
We all know smart girls and women who have adopted this stupid-on-purpose role - laughing too loud, looking blank and overly confused while asking, "How can they carve a computer out of an apple?" when someone mentions Apple Computers.
Maybe you've even done it yourself. Some girls will use dumbness situationally, like when they go out to a party or a bar - even though they are respectable and intelligent students and business women by day.
In the last few years, it seems as though "acting dumb on purpose" is in style. After all, us women want to be cute and feminine - not all loud and bossy and like...smart and stuff. Ewww!
(Just being sarcastic up there, in case you couldn't tell).
Anyway, after pondering over the issue of stupid-on-purpose, I have come up with 5 reasons why some women do it (or have done it in the past) along with 5 counter-reasons why, hey...it's really not such a good idea. Read on!
FIVE REASONS WHY SMART GIRLS AND WOMEN ACT DUMB
REASON #1: WE DO IT TO LOOK CUTE AND ADORABLE: We all want to be liked. So if we giggle a lot and look sort of dazed and vague with our eyes opened really wide - we become just as adorable as an innocent child, right? And everyone loves an innocent child. We honestly believe we're as cute as a little chibbi doll!
THE PROBLEM: Hold on! You're not really an innocent child - or a little chibbi doll, are you? You're an interesting women full of your own fascinating thoughts and ideas. But you can never truly find out who you are as a unique individual if you adopt this attitude. Besides, acting dumb just gets boring after awhile. You start to bore yourself, because you never have anything interesting to say!
REASON #2: WE DO IT BECAUSE IT'S "IN STYLE" AND IT GETS ATTENTION: Acting dumb works for a lot of celebrities and girls on reality TV, we reason. Don't act too bright and you get lots of attention...maybe even lots of money and your own reality TV show!
Acting dumb is so in style lately, like Snooki. Look at her. The things she says! She's probably rich by now. The logic goes, if I act dumb like that, I can be really popular and rich and in style...just like Snooki!
THE PROBLEM: Is Snooki really someone you want to emulate? Are ANY of these "reality people?" worth your admiration? Acting like a "winner" is acting like the OPPOSITE of these people!
REASON #3: WE DO IT BECAUSE WE THINK IT MAKES US APPEAR MORE FEMININE, AND BESIDES.... BOYS LIKE IT RIGHT?: We think boys like girls who are airheads. It's a fun sexy hot way to be. It's great for flirting! It makes us seem all girly!
Men like a fun girly woman who giggles a lot and doesn't take life seriously - a woman who will always agree with what he says and never have her own opinion. After all, men don't want to be challenged. A man wants to feel good about himself. And an adorable bubble-head makes a man feel more manly, right?
THE PROBLEM: Actually, a relationship based on equality is much healthier and makes you much happier in the long run. Besides...guess what? When it comes to long-term relationships, men prefer an intelligent woman they can have an interesting conversation with. Maybe the silly bubble head with the blank expression is good for "you know what" - but never for anything long term. But hey - if that's all you want to be good for, then that's your choice!
Something else to remember: You can still be playful and fun without acting dumb! One does not have anything to do with the other. Being playful and fun is a mindset - and any intelligent women can (and should!) have the mindset that a relationship should be fun! Remember: Smart women are the ones who actually GET the jokes, so they are the ones who end up laughing the loudest!
REASON #4: WE DO IT TO TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF OF OURSELVES: After all, if everyone thinks we're dumb (including ourselves) then there's no pressure to "accomplish anything in life...no pressure to get the answer right, score good grades, land the great job, help construct the mud and stick structure when you and your friends are stranded in the woods. Life is just easier. We can lay around all day, sleep until noon, watch junk TV and just read celebrity trash in magazines. We can paint our nails for a hobby and take an easy job where we don't have to worry about being challenged or failing. It's like sending your brain on a permanent holiday. No stress! After all, no one expects anything from you.
THE PROBLEM: When you're never challenged, life quickly becomes dull. When you never risk failure, you also never risk success. You never grow; never learn; never get the chance to feel good about yourself...to be proud of yourself...to gain self-confidence! And guess what? Self confidence is a lot sexier than stupidity.
REASON #5: WE DO IT BECAUSE IT BECOMES A HABIT: Sometimes we do something so much - we don't even realize we're doing it. It just becomes automatic. If we're used to shutting our brains down, that's what is going to become natural to us. Then when we really need to figure something out, we get easily frustrated. We panic. We whine. We feel helpless. Plus we're not being a very good role model for our kids...especially, our daughters.
THE PROBLEM: Feeling helpless is...sort of pathetic. Independence, now THAT'S cool! Feeling capable and in control of a situation helps you gain confidence in yourself. Plus, when you act in charge, you tend to FEEL more in charge - your brain switches from "panic mode" to "solution-oriented mode". Learning to act more independent may even save your life one day!
Also, when you act capable and "in control", you are providing a great role model for your children. And you do want your children to grow up feeling that they can handle whatever life throws their way, right?
Do you want to know the REAL reason smart women will sometimes act dumb? INSECURITY! That's right. When you don't believe in yourself - in your own intelligence and capabilities, it's easy to fall back on convincing yourself that you're not smart enough.
So, it's time to stop the negative self talk and start believing in yourself. If you don't feel self-confident, just fake it! You'll be surprised how, after awhile, you will convince yourself that you are quite capable of just about...anything!
So there you have it! Not that you need to go around proving how smart you are every single second...that's just obnoxious. But going around proving how dumb you are? Well, that's just plain....DUMB!