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5 Reasons Why People Cheat on Their Spouse

Updated on January 1, 2016
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Marriage is a sacred institution that has been around for hundreds of years. It is a commitment to another person that you are their life partner. The majority of our grandparents never considered things like divorce. If there was an issue in their marriage they either learned to live with it or they fixed it.

Cheating has always been around. People step outside of their marriage and have an affair with another person. An affair isn't necessarily sleeping with another person. There are many different steps that can lead up to infidelity, but an unsuspecting spouse can view an emotional affair as being just as devistating.

Here are five reasons why some people choose to cheat on their spouses.

Sometimes the distance between two people can feel like a world away.
Sometimes the distance between two people can feel like a world away. | Source

Physical Distance

hen a spouse is away from the home for a long period of time, infidelity can become a serious issue. He stepped outside of our marriage because he felt alone and wanted the physical companionship of another person. It had nothing to do with me except for the fact that we were in two different states for over a year.

Some people have to have constant companionship. There always has to be someone there that can provide for their physical need that is lacking when a couple is apart from one another for any reason.

This type of problem may go unnoticed by the spouse because there usually isn't a physical connection between the cheating spouse and the person he/she is cheating with. It is purely physical and can be easily ended once the couple are back together in the same home. Unless the spouse is caught somehow, this situation may never be brought to light or known about by the non-cheating spouse.

Sometimes your spouse may feel like they need to step outside of the relationship to find what is missing in their life.
Sometimes your spouse may feel like they need to step outside of the relationship to find what is missing in their life. | Source

There is Something Missing in the Relationship

Remember when you first started dating and everything was so exciting? Months later you settled into a routine, he pops the question, you plan your wedding and your new life together started out so wonderful? Enter the stressors of jobs, kids and a mortgage and all of a sudden the fairytale can take a tailspin.

Sometimes people go outside of their marriage for the things that they need in their relationship. Sex can become another thing "to do" on the calendar. The excitement is gone. The obligations can be overwhelming and one of you feels like you really need a break from life as you know it.

A new relationship brings back that excitement and when the married individual is spending time with the person they are cheating with, all of those problems can seem like they just don't exist, for a while anyway. The truth is that the cycle is just starting over again and will lead that person back around to where they are in the present.

If there is something missing, if the spark is missing in the marriage, do what is necessary to reignite it. If not, someone will more than likely step out of the marriage to find it.

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Opportunity

With the invention of the internet, there is a whole new world available at our fingertips and this world includes the opportunity to step outside of our marriage. Online dating sites are not only for the single people out there. In addition to the regular dating sites, there are actually sites that are specifically for married people looking to fool around.

When a married person wants to cheat bad enough to turn to Google, they will usually find a website like Ashley Madison. This website is actually designed to cater to married individuals that are literally looking to fool around. It is one of many sites out there that are strictly for this type of activity.

Married individuals can also be found masquerading on other dating sites that are supposed to be for singles. With the availability of the internet and the ease of connecting to other people online, there are more chances to cheat now than there ever has been in the past. The easier something is, the more likely people are to do it.

Don't ever sit a person down in front of a meal that they throughly enjoy and expect them not to partake of it.

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Midlife Crisis

Oh the dreaded midlife crisis. Some people hit it in their 40's, some in their 50's and some never hit this one at all. The funny thing about a midlife crises is that people will sometimes go to the extreme to feel young again.

There are few things in this world that can make someone feel great about themselves than being involved in a sexual relationship with a much younger person. Let's be honest here, when we grow older our bodies do become less attractive because of aging and gravity. Being with someone younger can bring back those feelings of youth. The very thing many people need to curb the feelings of impending mortality in the midlife crisis.

Rick older men are commonly seen with younger women that are sometimes even younger than their children. In today's economy and today's world, the average Joe can land the beautiful younger woman that is half his age by simply paying her rent. A phenomenon that has been around for ages, the Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationship. Sometimes the Sugar Daddy has a wife at home.

That can go both ways with the Cougar/Cub relationship as the female version as well as cheating with someone that is in the same age group. The underlying issue is the midlife crisis and the need to bring something different into the person's life to make them feel alive again.

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They Feel Like the Marriage Was a Mistake

Marriages are meant to last for the lifetime of the person. "Until death do us part." This means that a couple is expected to stay together for a long, extended period of time. Until one of them dies. That can be an extremely long time.

Let's face the fact here. A lot of marriages are a mistake for one reason or another. One or both of the partners isn't really in love with the other person. Someone gets married for money or security. The couple gets married before they really had a chance to know each other. There are so many reasons why marriages can be viewed as a mistake.

Sometimes a partner will step outside the marriage and have an affair with the person who they think they are really compatible with. Divorce is delayed for one reason or another or not even taken into consideration by the cheating spouse. There are many dynamics surrounding cheating because one partner, or both, feels like the marriage was a mistake and divorce is just not desired at the time the cheating is taking place.

© 2015 TheBadJuJu

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      I believe there are 3 reasons why people stay monogamous.

      1. They're "in love". (Very emotionally invested)

      2. They don't want to risk losing their mate.

      3. The idea of their mate cheating sickens them. (Karma effect)

    • AlexK2009 profile image

      AlexK2009 2 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland

      Monogamy is not natural. Most people stay monogamous for fear of the consequences

    • TheBadJuJu profile image
      Author

      TheBadJuJu 2 years ago from USA

      That is a great point. Also, human beings aren't naturally "wired" for monogamy. No matter how hard some people try, they will stray.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      I would imagine economics can also have an impact as well.

      Imagine an unhappily married man with three children. Lets say his wife has no interest in sex and very rarely is willing to appease him. After several discussions nothing changes.

      From his point of view he has three options.

      1. He can run down to the courthouse to file for divorce, move out of his home into an apartment/condo, pay child support, possibly alimony, become a weekend dad, and have family and friends "choose sides".

      2. He could say; "I made my bed and I will lie it." No more sex for life!

      3. He could find a woman who is willing to have sex anytime, anyway, and anywhere. She flirts/uses sexual innuendo and makes him feel {desired}.

      Bearing in mind most cheaters don't believe they will ever get caught it's kind of understandable why men in this situation often choose option #3.

      Oftentimes people state if he/she wanted someone new why didn't they end their relationship/marriage. They fail to understand the underlying goal for most cheaters is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side.

      They're not usually looking to (replace) one relationship with another.

      One other reason people cheat on their spouse is they are "Incessant Cheaters". These types of people get bored easily, love attention, and the excitement that comes with being with someone (new).

      I've known guys who really believed they could cheat on their girlfriends and fiancé all the way up through the night before the wedding and then they'd "retire" to a monogamous life. They're guilty of not knowing (themselves)!

      Marriage is not for everyone.

      For them monogamy will always feel like going on a "strict diet" or "giving up something". Everyone cheats on a diet from time to time.