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5 Reasons Why Your Loved One Lies to You

Updated on March 15, 2014

how you know they're lying

1. They only tell half truths: most of those who lie find ways to reciprocate facts with something else to cover up something they want to keep away from you. Usually, you'd notice this through pauses and constant thinking while they tell you their side of the story.

2. They find a way to change topics whenever they can: to avoid repetitively lying, they usually change the topic. Not being able to converse about the disturbing matter helps them avoid lying to you.

3. Silence is the best defense: when things get rough and lying won't work anymore, silence becomes the best defense to end a conversation

Lying, although wrong, is considered by many as a means of protecting those they love the most

"The truth hurts".... this is why many people choose to lie to avoid hurting those they love. The question is, is it worth it to lie? Most often than not, when a person finds out that he has been lied to by the one he loves, he feels devastated and disappointed for a long time trying to answer the question 'why was I lied to?'

Here are some of the top five reasons why your loved one[s] may lie to you:

1. Your loved one do not want to lose you

There are times when the person you love makes a mistake; and because he does not know whether or not you are going to be able to handle the matter with balanced emotions, he tries to hide the mistake and hope that he would not lose you over it.

it's easier for some to hide the truth especially if it may guarantee that you stay with them if you do not know what happened
it's easier for some to hide the truth especially if it may guarantee that you stay with them if you do not know what happened | Source

2. Your loved one wants to avoid conversation and confrontation for the time being

Perhaps he's just not ready to discuss about the matter. There is a right time for everything; and some believe that truths handed out at the right time would be easier to handle that having to deal with critical conversations and confrontations at an immediate time when things are still a little bit foggy.

3. Your loved one just does not want to deal with it because he does not see the deadening effect of it in your relationship

Not realizing how lying may affect the relationship may bring a person to realize the possibility of simply keeping the truth away from the other a better choice to simply keep things at a bay. In a way, the person lying does not see the worth of telling the truth towards the status of the relationship he shares with his partner.

Some think that it is necessary to lie to protect the ones they love
Some think that it is necessary to lie to protect the ones they love | Source

4. Your loved one wants to protect you from the truth

In this case, your loved one might be thinking that the truth will hurt you more. He may feel that keeping you away from the truth would be a better choice that bombarding you with facts that might put you in an unstable state.

When a person suffers from physical issues or may have anxiety panic attacks, the people surrounding him becomes more accustomed to keeping him away from matters that might trigger a particular emotional situation that could put matters at a worse condition than it is.

If your loved one feels that it is important to keep your emotions at bay and make sure that it does not affect your physical condition, lying for them may come in handy as a relative solution to the possibility of hurting you with the truth.

Do you think lying could be justified in a relationship? [family, friendship or romantic relationship]

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5. Your loved one might simply be avoiding critical changes in the relationship and complications that may lead to uneasy conversations and may put the relationship in jeopardy in the future

Sometimes, one mistake could break it all. Whether you are sharing such relationship with a family member, a friend or a romantic partner, the fear of breaking such connection seems to be a valid reason for some to lie. Avoiding complications that may be hard to deal with in the future is being handled by some through lying or simply masking out the truth. For them, its better to lie than to be in a relationship that becomes too critical to handle.

To avoid complications, some chose to lie
To avoid complications, some chose to lie | Source

The primary element behind lying is 'fear'. With fear in one's mind, he begins to decide on matters poorly. This means that the way we react on matters, especially lying, play a great role on how people tend to deal with us and the way they tell us the facts we ought to know about.

it is hard to remove common reactions like asking why the mistake happened in such a high tone that it invokes fear on the person telling the truth. Some, seeing that the situation cannot get any better, would then simply keep away from telling what actually happened just to avoid such uncanny situations.

To avoid, being lied to, it is then important to change our view of the existence of lying and why our loved ones do it. More tips on handling lies and how to react on the person lying more positively shall be posted on the next blog.


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      The purpose of a lie is to control or manipulate the (thoughts and reactions) of those who are listening. I actually believe there are (two basic reasons) why people lie and the others are just derivatives.

      1. To avoid pain

      They either want to avoid hurting/disappointing you or they want to avoid the raft/punishment you might dish out to them. The liar wants to look "good".

      2. To keep the thrill alive

      If they are engaged in an activity they know you would not approve of then lying to you allows them to keep at it without being pressured to stop.