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5 Reasons You Believe His Lies

Updated on December 28, 2016

Yes, You Fell for It Again!

You have caught him in his millionth lie for the millionth time. You feel frustrated, inept, and asinine for falling for it once again. You wonder what kind of relationship do I have where my man feels the need to lie to me about everything. It can be extremely difficult to be in a relationship with someone who's constantly lying to you. It prevents you from having the level of trust needed to make the relationship more fulfilling for the both of you. Why is it so hard for him to just tell you the truth? That's the million dollar question, but how much of his lying is directly related to you is an even better question.

It's no secret that everybody tells lies. Whether it's white lies, tiny lies, or big, bald face lies people lie every single day and all the time. There are many reasons people lie, and just like their reasons they have many justifications for them. But when you're in a relationship lying could lead to the demise of your romantic pairing. So the actual question is not why he lies to you, but why do you allow him to lie to you? Why do you choose to believe it even though he's already established a track record of being dishonest? What part do you play in his dishonesty?

Here We Go Again!
Here We Go Again!

2 Major Reasons Why He Lies to You

Each person has their reasons for why they lie. Some people lie because they're insecure and not confident within themselves. Others lie because they want to control the situation, and some people lie because they want to avoid consequences. But all lies that people tell are based on the reception of how you will receive it. Most people fancy themselves on knowing their significant other very well, and when a situation happens the first thing they do is filter the scenario through what they believe is true about you.

So if you tend to blow up when hearing stressful news then this will be the model that will help shape they lie they decide to tell. When a person is constantly lying to you this is indicative of a major communication issue between the two of you. It's not only about him telling lies it's also about him thinking, feeling, and believing that he can't be honest with you without suffering horrible consequences. Here are some common reasons men lie to their women.

  1. He's Afraid of Your Reaction: Even though you and your partner have been together for quite some time you probably think that he's used to your antics. But what you may fail to realize is that he may be used to them, but that doesn't mean he likes or condones them. If he has been honest with you in the past and you blew up at him that taught him to be more cautious about what he communicates to you. Since his options are less than what he started out with to him a lie might seem like a better way to deal with the situation, and an easier way to prevent dealing with your negative reactions.
  2. He's Afraid of the Consequences:Consequences are the main reason why men, women, and children lie. Most people build up the worst outcomes possible in their mind before it even happens. While they're thinking about all that could happen they're feeling it, dreading it,and stressing about going through a negative situation. This is a primary motivator for a lot of people to tell you a lie. At the time, they just wasn't brave or strong enough to weather the fallout of whatever it was they did. The fact that they might think that you'll be hard on them, lose respect or love for them, and leave them altogether is another major reason why he may lie to you.

I don't know why I keep falling for it!
I don't know why I keep falling for it!

Here's 2 Reasons Why You Continue to Believe His Lies

Most women who have a liar for a boyfriend/husband love to put the blame on him. They love to be without any accountability for his actions. To a certain degree they are right. You can't be blamed for the choices that another person makes. But sometimes, a person choices are guided by the amount of acceptance, maturity, and respect they don't receive from their beloved. In order to be blameless in this situation you really have to assess if you've created a relationship that truly allows for open, honest, and non retaliatory communication.

If this isn't the case, then you can't be too confident that you are without some accountability for this situation. If you have allowed your significant other to get away with telling you lies then you are enabling this person to continue this behavior. In order to stop him from continuing to lie to you you have to change the environment which allows him to be dishonest. This means you have to deal with the reasons you continue to believe the lies you know he will tell you, and the lies he has told you. Here are 5 reasons you believe his lies.

Fear and Reciprocation

  1. You're afraid to deal with this issue: One reason why women continue to put up with a guy who consistently lies to them is because they don't know how to deal with the issue. They don't know how to talk to him in a way that will get him to understand that they're disapproving of his behavior. So what they do is be bitter about the issue, and continue to let it happen. They don't realize that they're enabling him to keep doing what he's doing. By getting some help to help you communicate this issue with your partner you can help him to curtail this behavior. By not doing anything at all only encourages him to continue to do what he does.
  2. You lie to him too: Oh what a web we weave when at first we practice to deceive. No truer advice has ever been spoken. A lot of women think that they can get away with lying to their men, and just like you know he's lying to you he knows you're lying to him. He may not say it, tell it, or confront you about but at some point he has come to distrust what comes out of your mouth just like you do his. The way to end this situation is for the both of you to expose the lies you have told each other and start on a clean slate.

How often do you lie to your man?

Do you lie about small things that you consider to be unimportant?

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Desperation and Self Esteem

You are desperate: Even in this day and age, there are plenty of women out there who are absolutely desperate for a man. They'll do anything and put up with anything just to get or keep a man. Most women fancy themselves on not being extremely desperate for a boyfriend, but most women aren't aware of their level of wanting to have a man in their life. With that being said, that desperation leads them to put up with disrespectful behavior. Women put up with these things to not rock the boat. If they're in a relationship that isn't solid, strong, or real she is in absolute fear of losing him. So in order to keep him from leaving her she allows him to lie to her incessantly.

Clearly this woman has deep self esteem issues. The lower her self esteem is the more disrespect she will tolerate. In this instance, when it comes to being lied her self esteem won't let her command the respect deep down she knows she deserves. Until she fixes these issues with herself she won't be able to have a relationship with a man that is on equal terms. But the main question is how much does your level of self esteem play into your issues with your man. Are you allowing him to lie to because of fear that you may have. Until you get ready to deal with that problem his behavior definitely won't change.

We Can Be So Happy When We're Honest With Each Other
We Can Be So Happy When We're Honest With Each Other

Gullible and Indifferent

4. You're Gullible: There's no limit to the amount of people who are inept when it comes to people lying to them. They feel that since they're very honest people that everyone else is to. The have a very linear perspective on the behaviors and actions of others. This woman gets lied to because it's easy to do it. She most likely won't recognize when it happens, and even if she does she's most likely to not do anything about it. She would prefer to not deal with the reality of the situation, and chooses to think that this person means no harm by lying to them. If you're dealing with someone who knows that they can lie to you then that's exactly what they're going to do.

5. You're Indifferent: He's lied to you so many times that it doesn't even register with you when he does tell you lies. You're so jaded from having heard so many lies come from his mouth that when he tells you one it bounces right off the side of your head. You've given up on trying to be honest with him, and have lost all hope of him ever being honest with you. So when he does lie to you it's become nothing that moves you in either way. So long as you remain indifferent about this behavior it won't ever change. You have to start taking steps to figure out what it is that you really need in your life. If it's not a liar then you need to battle with those demons in order to rectify this situation. Until you do he won't have a reason to stop.

How much of a liar are you?

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In conclusion, most men are going to be as honest with you as you are with them. If you're a liar yourself then you can't be to strict about others that lie. But if this isn't the kind of relationship you want then there is a lot of work that needs to be done between the both of you. The first step is for the both of you to admit that you've have lied to each other. This opens up the lines of communication making it possible for the two of you to talk honestly. The next step would be to know why the lies were told.

The most important part of this step is to not invalidate the other person's reason. What they tell you is their reason. What you looking for is information that hinders the other person from being completely honest with you. When you have that you can build the kind of relationship that you want. The next step is to lay down the consequences for lying. Make sure that you follow through with those actions, because if you don't then that behavior won't ever change.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.


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    • Rebecca Furtado profile image

      Rebecca Furtado 

      5 years ago from Anderson, Indiana

      This is a good hub. We never really look at the reason's we believe or tend to believe other people's lies!


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