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5 Reasons You May Fall In Love with Your Therapist

Updated on June 7, 2011

5 Reasons You May Fall In Love with Your Therapist

Firstly we have to look at what makes us fall in love with others to understand why you may fall in love with your therapist.


The appearance is the first thing we see when we meet someone and therefore is it the initial attraction. It consists of the person’s face, skin and body that may be attractive. However it is not always immediate as a person’s sense of humor, charisma and personality can increase the appeal of the individual’s appearance. Therapists are always dressed in professional clothing giving the impression of a ‘classy’ and well educated person. These can be regarded as visually appealing.

Love oh Careless Love..
Love oh Careless Love..

5 Reasons for falling in love with your therapist

1. Listens to all your problems. Everyone ones that one person that can listen to our problems and be understanding; sometimes that is hard to find therefore positive feeling to the one person listening can develop.

2. The therapist doesn’t judge. When everyone else in the world has opinions about you; “Some do it with a bitter look, some with a flattering word. The coward does it with a kiss, the brave man with a sword”- Oscar Wilde. The point is, a non-judgmental person allows you to open up more about yourself providing the basis to form a deep bond.

3. Sympathy. You won’t be in the therapist office in the first place if you had someone understand how you feel. This is different from someone listening as they may not always understand the feeling involved. This you feel happier and more content in the therapist presence further developing your emotional attachment.

4. Filling the missing voids. The therapist ideally becomes the missing pieces emotionally in your life. This could be the therapist filling the parental love you never had or the care from a spouse you always wanted.

5. Emotional Dependency. Sometimes patience rely on their therapist for emotional support and this could be viewed a love.

Are you really in love with your therapist or is it transference?

The short answer is your emotions are real but you may be subconsciously bringing a past relationship you may or may not know about into your relationship with your therapist; this is known as transference. Falling in love is a positive/erotic transference however it can be the opposite if something negative is being transferred to the therapist. The term was coined by Sigmund Freud who notice many of his female patients confessed their love for him in both romantic manner and child like manner.

Okay, I’m still in love what now?

Understand it is very common and it’s nothing to be ashamed of; talk it over with your therapist so you understand more about what you are feeling. Knowing it is part of the process of your therapy may make it easier to deal with. However the feelings will not just go away; talking about does lift the weight off your shoulders.

It is also a positive sign you are making progress in your therapy; however it is a breach in the code of ethics if your therapist enters a relationship with you and it will damage your treatment. You have to focus on why you came to therapy in the first place to see through the heighted feeling.


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    • CRe8tiVeLiFe profile image

      Erin Lee 

      5 years ago from Somewhere over the rainbow ;-)

      As a therapist, I can tell you that this is a very common thing and nothing to feel badly about. Clients who are in this situation might find it helpful to talk to their therapist about it. Trust me, it won't surprise him or her. Being open about feelings is what therapy is about and a good therapist will be able to help you navigate those feelings or give you a proper referral.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      i think im n love

    • GracieLake profile image


      7 years ago from Arizona

      Ooooh, yes, dangerous territory this is! I've heard it's very common, and it speaks to the need we all have to be heard without judgement. Ah, if only we could do that with each other on a regular basis. Thanks for the hub.


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