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5 Relationship tips to turn a friend into a Girlfriend.

Updated on February 7, 2013

I think most of us have had that female friend, who seems to be oblivious to the way we act around them. Truth is most Girl's have a fair idea that you have an attraction to them, it's just that they suffer from the same mental block as we do. So much for the whole " Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus". My response to that is they are both in the same solar system, so what is the problem?

I have decided to try and give my advice on this subject, although I freely admit that there are better qualified people with numerous relationship books to their names. Maybe their advice is better than mine, but everybody is different so use what works. I wish I could tell an earlier version of myself what I know now, it would save a lot of hassle.

Getting the Girl.
Getting the Girl. | Source

Tip One

Tip One is quite simple be yourself, there is no point trying to be something your are not around them. If you pretend to be something your not, you are lying to yourself and to the object of your affection. If you say that you are something your not or pretend to enjoy things you hate, you will make a fool out of yourself.

Woman are not stupid and they know what they want and how they want it. There is no point changing yourself to fit the Girls image of a dream partner, when you have to change everything that makes you what you unique. If she is to fall in love with you, it has to be the real you and not a false version of yourself.

Tip Two

The Second tip is if you see a future together with the Girl, why not discuss it with her and see what she thinks. Yes it will be uncomfortable and nerve raking but " nothing ventured nothing gained! ". Woman like a man who is confident and mature, if you can talk through what you want then you have a chance.

If you say nothing then she may assume that you don't want anything more than friendship, and you will be locked in a holding pattern for what will seem like forever. If you can have an adult conversation explaining why you think it maybe a good idea and talk through the risks and implications to your friendship, then you are already on the road to establishing a mature and adult relationship.

Is it worth the risk?
Is it worth the risk? | Source

Tip Three

Tip Three is another simplistic one, if you are friends and enjoy spending time together why not suggest doing activities that you both enjoy. Make sure these activities are not inviting her to read through your entire back catalogue of graphic novels, or watch you play on a video game night after night surrounded by discarded energy drinks and pizza boxes. If you fall into that routine then there will not be a relationship happening anytime soon.

Here are a couple of generic suggestions, but if you know the Girl then you will have a better idea of her general interests.

  1. Bowling
  2. Cinema
  3. Hiking
  4. Ice Skating
  5. Going to see Live Music

Have you ever been stuck in the friends zone?

See results

Tip Four

The Fourth tip is one which most good friends do for each other as standard, and that is to be there for her. If you can be objective about her boyfriends and not let that effect you, you can play the waiting game. Unfortunately humans are not able to ignore the kind of emotions that surface in that kind of relationship for too long, before there is even a chance she will develop those feelings for you- you may end up resenting her for ignoring your feelings!

Tip Five

Tip Five is quite simple, some friendships cannot be turned into a relationships. No matter how much you may think "hooking up" is a great idea, that viewpoint may not be shared by her. You will have to respect that decision, because if you don't you will destroy your friendship completely. We sometimes buy into the Hollywood style romance too much, but most of these love stories are over simplified in the need for light hearted entertainment.

If you can continue to keep your friendship with the object of your affection and be yourself around her. There is a strong chance one day she will see you as her "Mr Right", but it is not worth fixating and obsessing over as your life passes you by. In your own mind every Guy or Girl the object of your affection is close to, is another source of pain and misery for yourself. There is a chance that your perfect partner is waiting for you, but you are too hung up on the unattainable girl beyond your reach.


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    • Asp52 profile image

      Asp52 4 years ago from England

      Regret is a terrible thing and it is always the case of " If I knew then, what I knew now. The outcome would have been very different!" Thanks for reading and commenting.

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 4 years ago from Missoula, Montana at least until March 2018

      I made the mistake years ago of not talking to a woman in an adult fashion about my feelings (tip 2). Though we both went on to have happy and fulfilling relationships, there still remains that hint of regret and sense of what might have been. Thank you for this insightful article.

    • Asp52 profile image

      Asp52 4 years ago from England

      Thanks Mayodmv- The dreaded friendzone!!!!

    • mayodmv profile image

      Jose Matalo 4 years ago from Philippines

      Finally! A hub that could help Mr.Nice Guys out of the friendzone! Thanks to this!

    • Asp52 profile image

      Asp52 4 years ago from England

      I am glad you have found that special someone and you have many more years of happiness together. Thanks for stopping by and I may do something similar to topic in the future. Thanks for the inspiration Ericdierker.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I am ten years into a wonderful marriage. Perhaps you could rephrase your title --- How to keep and maintain your girlfriend as your friend. I will apply much of your advice.