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5 Signs He's Not Boyfriend Material

Updated on October 21, 2012

So you're on a date with a guy who seemed perfectly fantastic the first time you met and he asked for your number. He was so fantastic you couldn't wait for that first date. But now that you're on it, you're starting to notice things that make you wonder if this is the same guy. Maybe he's just off his game tonight -- maybe he just had a bad day. But maybe you're actually seeing the real him come out in bits and pieces. Many women would take the following 5 signs he's not boyfriend material and move on, but some of us will just file them away and pretend we didn't notice them. There could be any number of reasons we do this, but none of them are worth it. So take heed when you notice these things, let yourself enjoy the evening if you can, and then chalk it up to a one-time date, because any guy who displays these character traits is not boyfriend material.


1. He drinks too much.

Many folks like to unwind and have a drink now and then, but unless your first date is at Oktoberfest, a man should be putting his best foot forward on a first date. Drinking to the point of getting stupidly drunk, or even just drinking to the point his personality changes in a way that strikes you as off-putting, is not sexy. And if he's like this on the first date, imagine how he'd be on the next when he's even more relaxed with you. A man who gets wasted or too buzzed to behave normally on a first date is not quality boyfriend material. So if you get the feeling he loves his drink a bit much, trust your instincts and start chatting with someone who knows how to behave in a more mature fashion.

2. He trashes people, places and things all throughout dinner.

Having something negative to say about someone or a bad experience is one thing. But if the guy you're on a date with seems to have more negative experiences to share with you than positive, this is a sign that this guy's life is not in order. That, or he's just a really negative person who likes to speak badly about everything. Either way it's likely to prove toxic to your own state of mind if you have to hear how bad everything and everyone is day in and day out. If he's going on about these sorts of things on the first date, imagine how much more negativity he's got in store to share. Negativity wears off onto those in close proximity and this is probably something you will want to avoid soaking up.

3. He hasn't got any money.

There are men who expect women to pay for them if she makes more money than he does. I am not going to say he's not boyfriend material if he'd like to split the bill on the first date (although in my case, that happens to be my personal opinion!) but if he expects you to foot it, that is a bad sign. Some men are really comfortable asking a woman to pay, and I have always found this offensive because when in a relationship I expect to split costs evenly. If your date expects you to pay for everything on the first date and then gives you a sad story about not having any money at the moment, you can be sure this is likely to be a regular status of his. If you're comfortable being a sugarmama, go for it. Otherwise, this guy's not quality boyfriend material.

4. He's vulgar.

This could be language or behavior, either one is bad. I'm not saying he can't talk like a grown-up, but if he's vulgar to the point it shocks you, this is not the guy for you. Believe me, anyone who is comfortable saying even one repulsive thing on the first date is sure to get more vulgar as time goes by. And if you don't nip it in the bud, he's going to take that as a sign that it's perfectly ok with you. If it is, more power to you. If not, realize this guy is not good boyfriend material, and look for a man who respects you.

5. He seems on edge and snippy.

Everyone gets nervous and first dates are painful for both parties in that respect. But if your new guy is even slightly nasty or rude to you because of this, just imagine how he'd be during a crisis! If a normal person is that much on edge that it's coming out at the seams, the polite thing to do is reschedule the date, not subject you to sitting there while he vents his emotions inappropriately. A man who does this on the first date is likely to be a nightmare once you get to know him better.


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