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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
5 Signs He's a Bad Boyfriend
Ever sat round wondering if you're dating a bad boyfriend or not? Well, guess what, ladies -- if you were dating a good boyfriend, the question never would've occurred to you in the first place. Sorry to be so blunt about it, but that's pretty much just how it is. If you really want to be sure he's a crap boyfriend, just sit down and make a list of all the bad things and the good things you can associate with your boyfriend. If the bad grossly outweighs the good, stop writing and run screaming from the relationship immediately! Otherwise, you'll have to use your own yardstick to determine whether or not yours is a truly bad boyfriend. But if you need a little help drawing the best conclusion, have a look at the following character traits. If your boyfriend has even one of them, you've picked yourself a bad apple.
1. He's abusive
If your boyfriend is abusive in any capacity -- mentally, physically, emotionally -- he's a bad boyfriend. It's really that simple, though I know it's very hard to see this clearly when you are personally in the midst of the situation. If you love him, your heart will likely be willing to forgive and make excuses for such behaviors. Therefore, try to let your mind take the lead. If you're not sure if your man is abusing you, simply imagine your best friend in your shoes with her own man. Would you think she was being abused? If yes, the same must apply to you.
2. He's a drug addict / alcoholic
Believe it or not, some people hide their addictions very well in the early stages of a relationship. And then once you've fallen in love you discover your boyfriend's nursing a drug addiction or alcohol problem. Most women will instinctively want to "save" their boyfriend from himself, and some will go to extreme lengths in doing so, sacrificing far more than anyone should. But in the end, the only person who can save an addict is himself. If your boyfriend has a drug problem or alcohol problem and doesn't *want* to help himself, this doesn't mean he's a bad person, but it does mean he's a bad choice of boyfriend for you.
3. He's a thief
Some people actually think it's cool to steal. Obviously, most of us wouldn't knowingly date a thief, but what do you do when you discover the guy you've been dating for 6 months is a thief? This is a major character flaw and if he's got these issues he's sure to have others. This guy is bad! Doesn't matter if he's stealing from you or other people. This is not the guy you want to grow old with, and I can't imagine anyone putting this man in the good boyfriend category.
4. He's unreliable
This can span many categories and some of us will be more affected by some behaviors than others. In my case, trust is of the utmost importance and if someone is not reliable I cannot trust them. Certainly, things go wrong from time to time and this is normal. But if you've got a boyfriend who is always at least an hour late; routinely breaks dates; frequently fails to repay you; never has his own money; never keeps his promises; and whatever else you can think of, you've got a bad boyfriend.
5. He lies
And I'm not talking about the "honey, of course your butt looks great in those jeans" lie that most women actually want to hear. I'm talking about lies about who he spent the last hour on the phone with, who he's going to meet at the bar, who he's going to the party with, where he slept last night, and so on. Some guys lie deliberately, to keep a girl guessing, but this is just as bad as lying to cover something up. Perhaps it's even worse. If you're with a man who lies, you are with a bad man who makes a bad boyfriend.