6 Tips for Dating Success You Should Not Ignore
6 Tips for Dating Success
Adwoa Amponsah is dying to have a relationship with this guy she met at school. She is planning for her first date and is full of nervousness, not knowing what to expect. Her ultimate aim is to ensure she gets this opportunity right so that she can develop a long-term relationship with the guy.
"I want my dating adventure to be a success. For me, I would consider it a success when I can get him to have a series of dates with me, so that I can warm myself into his heart and make him more attracted to me, so that we can have a stable relationship," she says.
You may be in a similar position to Adwoa. What are some of the things you can do to ensure you have success in dating, which is the dating ending successfully in marriage?
Whether you are dating a successful busy man, a successful entrepreneur, successful woman, successful lawyer, or successful older man, these tips for successful dating will help guide you so that you do not experience lack of dating success.
What are some of the things you must do?
Assess Your Personality, and Your Date's Personality
You must study the person, know his personality, and decide whether you will feel comfortable having a stable relationship with such a person in the long term.
Below, I give you some of the characteristics of 4 personality types you are sure to meet. Knowing them will prevent dating without success since you will have knowledge with which to deal with these kinds of people when you meet them.
Also assess which personality type you are and the adjustments you need to make to achieve dating and life success.
If your would-be date rejects you and you find yourself begging for a date, then you may be dealing with a cynic. A cynic may often have a sneering faultfinding look on his face. This does not mean hate. A cynic is sometimes looking for attention.
If you have a tendency to be arrogant, you will have it difficult maintaining a relationship, and a marriage. Do not live in a narrow-minded world. You must understand that no one is an island. No one is self-sufficient or perfect. Humans are by nature interdependent. We all have weaknesses and strengths. So learn to humble yourself.
If your date is arrogant, help him or her to see the other side of life. Ignore the person at times.
You cannot force people to like you because you like them intensely. A possessive person may lack self-esteem and self-worth. Because they are possessive, they entertain the notion that if they cannot have you, then others cannot have you as well. If you do not trust someone, you cannot love him or her.
So, if you are dating someone who depicts great signs of possessiveness, tell him to relax. Assure him of your commitment to the relationship.
Assertive people tend to be talkative and argumentative. They make claims and would defend it forever, even when they are wrong. Their strengths lie in dwelling on an issue at a time.
Some assertive men and women are ignorant and intolerant of the views of other people. You can have a smooth relationship with an assertive man or woman by refusing to argue with him or her.
Dating for Success
If you want to achieve success at dating, and hopefully make it end in marriage, then you must adopt the right success dating attitude. This involves combating shyness, and using proper communication when you go out.
Some people are uncomfortable in the presence of others because they are afraid of failure or not being up to the other person’s expectations.
How can you overcome your shyness so that when a member of the opposite sex approaches you, you can form a fruitful friendship which may increase dating success?
1. In the week leading up to the day on which you will meet your date, sit down quietly and write down at least fifty questions you will ask your date. Do your best to commit about ten of them to memory. Those should be the questions you will ask him or her first. And then, rehearse how you will ask the questions so that it will seem interesting.
2. Ask one of your friends who is more experienced in dating how they prepared for their first date. Learn lessons from it and apply it to your situation. Let them share their past difficult insecure situations when they were dating so that you will know that feeling shy is not peculiar to you. It will make you more confident.
3. Shy people over estimate situations because they have low self-esteem. One thing you can do to help you gain confidence is to imagine the scene at the venue where you will have the date. Try to think about the people you will see there, and imagine yourself behaving confidently.
4. Just before you go for the date, keep saying, "I will be confident! I will be confident! Everything will be alright! This is no big deal! Nothing bad is going to happen!" to yourself. It will boost your self-esteem.
5. Learn to socialize by developing the technique of asking probing questions, or knowing how to select topics for conversation that will interest both of you. To be able to do this effectively, you have to do your research and find out what interests the person you are interested in. Ask his close friends and associates, or try to infer it from the conversations you have with him.
6. Know when to conclude a boring conversation and pursue a conversation that is interesting, when you are gaining your friend’s interest.
What are some of the signs that will tell you that your date is losing interest in the conversation?
- He will keep asking you to repeat the questions you ask him.
- He will try to suppress yawns.
- He will look at passer-bys instead of keeping his focus and attention on you.
- He or She will become restless. Even trifles may annoy them. Sometimes they will laugh at things in which you can see no fun.
- He will show signs of his mind wandering.
- He may write or draw whilst you are talking.
- Some will play with their button or wristwatch.
7. Cultivate less self-consciousness. Adopt a bit of the “I-don’t-care” attitude. Do not take to heart everything that people say about you. People will always talk.
Learn Proper Communication
Your speech can determine whether you will have success with dating or not. It will also demonstrate to the person you are dating whether you are easygoing, or desperate.
Keep it in your mind that you are trying to make a good impression on a member of the opposite sex. Making a good impressions is one of the secrets for dating success. When you make a good impression, then the person you are dating gets to like you more, and this increases the chances that it will develop into a long-term relationship.
Talk a little, then ask questions so that the other person too will have an opportunity to talk so that you can get bits of information about him or her throughout the conversation. Talking too much will make you say a lot of things which are best left unsaid. So try to strike a balance between talking too much and talking too little.
Do not forget that your words are like a window which help people to see into the “house” of your personality and character. Other people can see who you really are and what you truly like by your words. So make sure that the view you give to them is a pleasant one.
Many people like a person who just acts natural. If a boy or girl has to take time to think before he or she answers questions, he or she is not being natural. Answer as soon as you are asked a question. Do not overthink.
Keep the Conversation Going
When you are able to engage your date in interesting conversations, it will increase the likelihood that the person will like to see you again, and as you continue seeing each other, chances are that your friendship will grow into love, ensuring you achieve success in dating.
Some of the techniques you can use to make a conversation keep going are:
- Do not ask the kind of questions that require a “yes” or “no” answer. For example do not ask, “When did you start school?” You can ask something like, “What do you think of the school?” That will force your date to talk more.
- Encourage the other person to tell you something about himself or herself, and then when it is your time to talk again, start your questions with “Who?”, “What?”, “When? “, “Why?”, or “How?” Those kinds of questions invite the other person to carry on the conversation with you, and thus makes it easier to talk.
- When the other person responds to a question, which you had asked, present another question based on the answer given to your initial question. For example you can ask, “Can you summarize the main thought of a movie you have watched this week?” or “What are some of the favorite places you have visited at some time or another? Can you describe the town to me?”
- If you ask a good question to begin with (for example a question based on his or her particular interests, hobbies, likes), listen carefully to the other person’s response; concentrate on what the other person is saying. Be careful not to just stare at the floor, or watch other people, or glance at your watch. Make comments related to what the other person is talking about.
- Lots of conversations begin when one person compliments the other. For example, you can start by saying, “I like your shirt. Where did you buy it?” After he answers, you can ask a follow up questions like, “Was it expensive? I would like to get one for my brother.” Try to see how much you can notice about a person, and then use one of those observations to start the conversation.
The way you sit says a lot about you. There is beauty, dignity, and ease in the way a poised person seats himself or herself. It can either make you look appealing, or it may make you look unattractive. If, by the way you sit, you appear attractive, you will increase the chances that the person you date will want to have another date with you at another time.
Therefore, if you want your dating to be a success, when you get to the venue of the date, walk up to your chair from the side. When you are directly in front of the chair, pivot halfway around on the balls of your feet. With your chest high, your stomach in, and your coccyx tucked in, sink slowly into the chair, bearing almost all your weight on your back leg. Look directly into your date’s eyes, and smile at him or her.
You may feel nervous on a first date and not know what to do with your hands. What you should do is to relax your hands completely, by allowing them to lie on your lap till you gain good control over yourself. Then, breathe in deeply, and exhale slowly. This will make you feel relaxed so that you can compose yourself well and have a great conversation with your date.
3 Tips for Dating Success
What would you consider as dating success?
When you have conversations, encourage the other person to participate in the conversation. Your conversations will be the time when you can develop a “relationship culture” for both of you. The “relationship culture” is to create an atmosphere which is not boring. There should be levity, fun, humor, and excitement in your conversations.
Adopt the mindset that your conversations are real work. Prepare for them. Plan the questions you will ask him or her in advance.
Your times together should not take too long or else you will become bored with each other in no time. Have shorter, fun-filled dates together. And do not meet too often. Keeping away from each other for some time makes you miss each other more.
© 2014 Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio