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9 Things You Can Do To Make Your Relationship Last Longer
How To Make Your Relationship Last Longer
How Can You Make Your Relationship Last Longer?
How do you make your relationship last longer so you can reap all the benefits and enjoy the maximum pleasure of that relationship? Below, I give you 7 tips on what to do to make your relationship last longer.
You Must Be Physically Fit, and Live A Healthy Life
Being in a relationship may involve travelling many hours to visit your partner. Sometimes it may involve travelling from one country to another to visit the man or woman you love. You will need to be physically fit to make the necessary frequent travels that you will have to make. Seeing each other often in a relationship revives the spirit, keeps the flame of romance burning, helps you to connect emotionally again, and makes you feel loved, and increases the chances of the relationship lasting longer. Being healthy will also make you live longer and enjoy your man or woman for a longer period of time.
If you are married, you will need to go to work so that you can earn money to take care of responsibilities in the home. You will combine that with taking care of children, doing household chores, taking care of your husband or your wife, seeing to the needs of the extended family in places where the extended family system is strong, may be doing extra jobs, and also making love to your husband or wife. All these demand a lot of strength and energy. The healthier you are, the more capable you will be able to handle all these responsibilities, and have a happy marriage.
Living a healthy life involves being careful about what you eat. If you eat a well-balanced, healthy diet regularly you will be healthy to take care of these responsibilities.
These are some things you can do to be healthy:
- Exercise regularly for 30 minutes every day. This will improve your endurance, boost your stamina, strengthen your immune system and help you to cope better with looking after your wife or husband, or taking care of your boyfriend or girlfriend.
- Drink clean water.
- Get enough sunshine.
- Don’t overeat.
- Don’t overindulge in lovemaking (if you are married), and abstain from sex if you are not married.
- Get adequate rest (at least six hours of rest every day)
- Cast your burdens on the Lord and do not worry too much.
- Obey God’s commandments.
Do these things and you will be healthy and fit to take care of your romantic responsibilities.
You Must Learn To Communicate Well
A sound practical knowledge of your partner, learning about relationships and marriage, and the ability to identify with your partner and understand his or her grievances and knowing how to respond appropriately will help your relationship to grow stronger and last longer.
Learn to talk openly. Obtain some idea of the practical problems your partner is facing in the relationship. Find amicable ways of solving these problems. Express your feelings without fear. Share your thoughts and frustrations in a clear, unambiguous manner, with respect and decorum.
Hold Love Meetings
The human mind finds it very easy to forget things and therefore has to be reminded regularly of facts, figures, events, and occasions of the past. You will forget some of the good things your partner does for you, and this could make you ungrateful, which will make it easier to fall out of love with him or her. But when you remind yourself of the good things your partner has done for you before, you are more likely to maintain you affection for him or her. When you hold these love meetings and you remember the wonderful things your lover, or spouse, did for you yesterday, it will make you grateful to the person, which will cause fresh feelings of affection and adoration to spring up in you again, and that will help you to treat your partner right all the time, which will make your relationship continue and last long.
How should you go about these meetings?
- Set aside a day of the week or some hours of the week. Saturday evenings may be a good time to schedule such meetings because you are likely to be in no rush to get the meeting over with quickly. For some partners, a Sunday evening may be preferable because after going to church in the morning and hearing a sermon, you may be in a mood to be grateful, and you may be more predisposed to have good will towards your partner.
- Make sure you find a quiet, cool place where you will not be disturbed.
- Sit with a piece of paper and a pen.
- Write down fifty good things your partner has done for you that you will never forget. Let your partner do the same thing.
- Give your sheet to your partner, and collect his or her sheet.
- Study what your partner has written and ruminate on it. Reflect on the fact that your partner did those things for you because he or she cares a lot about you. Resolve to do even more to please your partner.
- Discuss other things, besides what you have written down, you can do to please your partner.
- Thank your partner for feeling this way about you with some kind words, a kiss, and a hug.
Every morning when you wake up, try to remember three of the things you have done for your partner which he or she will never forget. Let it make you feel positively disposed towards your partner.
You can have those things written on a plaque, or piece of wood, or have it typed and framed beautifully. Hang it, or place it in a corner of your room where you can see it every morning. Read it every morning and evening before you go to bed so that you will have good thoughts about your partner before you go to bed.
You Must Learn To Get On With Your Partner
A relationship is team work. You must work as different players performing separate roles in the team, but contributing individually in your own special way to make the team win. In so doing, you bond better, grow together, and growing together makes a relationship last longer.
You Must Show Enthusiasm For The Relationship
Only a partner who has the real urge for the relationship to succeed will show commitment and make the efforts needed to make the relationship last longer. Making sacrifices to make the relationship last longer requires strong personal commitment.
If you want to make your relationship last longer, show enthusiasm so that your partner too will emulate you. When the urge to make it work is there, and you are happy about your partner, the relationship will last longer.
You Must Empathize With Your Partner
Empathy is the ability to see problems through the eyes of another, in this case through the eyes of your partner, and be able to put yourself in his or her shoes. Empathy is more than sympathy because it is based on understanding.
We are brought up differently. We come from different backgrounds, meet, fall in love, and decide to spend the rest of our lives together.
Differences in background can be lessened if you try to see yourself through the eyes of your partner. When you do that, there will be fewer conflicts in the relationship. There will be harmony, peace, and love, which are requirements to make a relationship last.
Show True Love
Love is the vehicle on which a relationship can travel a long distance. As long as there is love in a relationship, the relationship will last longer. Why some relationships fail is because love dies, and when that happens keeping the relationship going becomes difficult.
Love is not just a warm feeling you experience when you are strongly attracted to a person. It is an attitude you must have towards your partner at all times if you want the relationship to work. Love reveals itself in practical ways, and in action.
True love involves bodily, emotional, and intellectual identification so intense as to cause each partner to forget and forgo his own personality demands and his aspirations in favor of the other in order to gain satisfaction.
Forgetting and foregoing your personality demands means that you must be prepared to make sacrifices in order to make the relationship work. You will have to sacrifice your time, energy, sleep at times, or money which you may have saved to buy something for yourself. But these are all ways to make your relationship last longer. When you sacrifice your own demands to please your partner, and your partner also sacrifices his or her demands to please you, harmony is maintained, love continues to grow, and the relationship remains strong and resilient.
You can demonstrate true love for your partner by also helping him or her even if it is not convenient to do so. You show true love to your partner or your spouse when you give even when it hurts. You also show true love by devoting energy to the welfare of your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse rather than to your own welfare.
Another way you demonstrate true love for your partner is by absorbing hurts from him or her without complaining. This is a very hard thing to do for it is only human to want to protest and react when we feel that we have been treated unfairly, but it is one of the things you need to do for your relationship to last longer. It takes a great deal of restraint, but if you want your relationship to last longer, learn to cultivate that restraint. Restraining yourself from revenging and insulting when you are insulted, but choosing to dialogue, maintains peace and makes a relationship last.
True love will seek nothing but the highest and the best good for the object of that love. Do not forget that the way you treat others will be the same way they may treat you. Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you. When Aristotle wrote of love, he said, “…only those who are deserving of love can be loved.” It is when you show love to your partner that he or she will be motivated to reciprocate that love. And reciprocal love will make your relationship last.
Joy is a deep inner radiance of the soul, resulting from the knowledge that God works things out for our good. It is a feeling of great happiness or pleasure. It is a condition of inner satisfaction, an untouchable pleasure that comes from knowing Christ and walking with Him. Joy is not pleasure due to favorable circumstances, nor is it a happiness that comes from having lots of earthly things. Joy is a delightful result that comes from knowing that God is too good to be unkind, and that He is too wise to make mistakes.
Make your relationship last longer, and your dating more enjoyable, by being joyful. Fill your heart with joy, especially when you experience great suffering as a couple, and in your darkest moments. It will keep you from getting irritated with your mate easily, grumbling constantly, complaining, and murmuring which all go a long way to hamper good communication in marriage, create disharmony, produce tension in the relationship, and weaken the bond between romantic partners.
Being joyful diffuses tension and sustains the emotional equilibrium in the relationship, thereby making love last, and consequently, making the relationship last longer.
Resolve Conflicts Well
If you want your relationship to last longer, one critical thing you must make sure you do is to manage the conflicts that will crop up in the relationship properly. When you do that, the stability of your relationship will be maintained, which will ensure that the likelihood of the relationship lasting will be increased.
What are some of the things you can do to resolve conflicts well?
- Ask yourself whether it is worth it to make a big deal of the issue? If it is, make up your mind you are going to be patient, by saying something such as, “I will be patient. I will be patient. I am not going to overreact. Calm down, Isaac! Calm down! Rebekah is not my enemy and I must approach her with respect,” to yourself, and it will help you to put the conflict in proper perspective before you confront your partner.
- Remind yourself of five good things your partner has done for you in the past. It will help you to keep your anger at manageable levels when you consider that your partner is not bad through- and- through, which sometimes one is tempted to feel and think when he or she is upset and angry.
- When you are angry with your partner, try not to raise your voice. Raising your voice will energize you and make you more emotional. Instead, speak in controlled tones. If you feel you cannot control yourself and that when you say something at that moment you will explode, respectfully tell your partner you feel you cannot have a civil conversation with him or her at that moment, and so you want the resolution of the problem to be shifted to another time. It will give you some time to reflect and gain better control over yourself.
- Try not to be petty. Some people find fault with every little thing, which makes them get so worked up they get irritated easily and want to have a fight, even when the issue at stake does not require you to fight; they will get upset when they can’t find their car key; some get upset when someone slurps whilst eating, or when their partner has not called them in a few days, or when their partner passes a dry joke with the intention of teasing them.
- You have to differentiate between the important and unimportant things in life, and decide to just let some unfair comments your partner passes about you, or bad habits he or she may have, or actions you may not like, go. See them as unimportant. Try to focus your mind on the important things in the relationship, such as the care your partner shows you, or the sacrifices he or she makes in terms of finances and time, and be satisfied with those things.
Children are one tool you can use to resolve your conflicts. Children can have a serious fight at one moment, but in the next moment you will see them playing together again as if nothing had happened.
How can you let thoughts about children influence you to resolve conflicts with your partner?
- Write the word “Children” in your diary.
- Write under it ways you remember you made up with your sibling s when you were a child, or ways you have seen children of your sister, or brother, make up. Before you try to resolve the conflict, just pick the diary and look at the word “Children” you have written and the comments under it.
- Think about how they find it easy to let go and make up your mind you will also try to let go. Think something like, “If even children can let go, then a big man, or big woman like me, who has all this experience in life, and should know better, can also let go.”
- Also, after the discussion, if you are feeling very bitter, use the thoughts about children to shame yourself. Think something such as, “I must behave like a grown up. It is immature people who behave this way. I am acting like a child. I must behave better.”
How To Make Your Relationship Last Longer
Do you think your current relationship will last till you die?
© 2014 Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio