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5 Things You Should Know Before Getting in a Relationship

Updated on March 30, 2020
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If you Are like most of the people then you don't feel fulfilled by your relationship. And in addition to that I can almost guarantee that you are looking for ways to make your relationship last. As humans, we want to like and want to be liked. But nowadays people get into a relationship and they find it to be toxic.

If you want to have a healthy relationship - the one which when you turn back you could say that it's the best one, it's entirely possible. It's simply the result of small, consistent actions over an extended period of time. I am nowhere close to where I want to be, but over the years I have spent time studying the secrets of mentors I highly respect. There is certainly more, but today I want to share 5 secrets I have learned about relationships.

1. Time

One of the number one secrets to a strong, sustainable relationship is time. More you spend time together, the deeper your relationship gets. With that said, there are a few things about time that we need to know. One of those is that the world we live in expects us to do things instantly. But the relationships that last long are not build overnight. The truth is that they are built over months or even years of time. To be honest time lets you know if you are compatible with your partner or not.

“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

2. Efforts

Hard work always pays off. Don’t get me wrong, but most of the relationships don’t work out are because people don’t want to commit to the hard work that comes with it. If you believe that nothing comes for free, the more you invest in this idea; more results you get.

The truth is, efforts don’t really mean a lot of physical or mental strain, sometimes it could be just sitting next to each other doing nothing. Because research shows that just being together releases oxytocin, which is the bond hormone in our bodies.

“The difference between successful and really successful people is that they work much harder.”


3. Understanding

Imagine the day when you get really old, sitting in this rocking chair, in this bright sunlight and he/she gets you a cup of warm tea. Doesn’t this idea reflect that your relationship was lifelong and undeniably beautiful? This is realistic and is fully achievable through understanding. If you don’t understand your lover, you wouldn’t have fallen in love with them. So always ask your partner “How they are feeling?” or maybe “How their day was at work?”, this would let you not only understand your partner but also be there for them.

“Risk comes from not understanding what you are doing.” ~Warren buffet

4. Freedom

People often get the wrong idea that relationship means tying that person to themselves. That thought process is terrible because what made that person them is the environment and removing them out from it will make them a completely different person. With that said, we need to realize that what made you fall in love with them is what they were. Don’t change them for yourself.

“If you can’t spread your wings properly, you won’t fly properly”

5. Transparency

I didn’t realize until recently just how important it is to be transparent or so-called authentic. It’s easy to be prideful and think that you can handle your issues on your own, but more often than not you will make mistakes and believe me the easiest way to get out of them is to confess.

For most of my life, l lived not to make any mistake but the truth is that we all make mistakes and need to confess them out. These will not only strengthen your relationship but also make you more reliable.

There is no magic for building good relationships. It takes time, patience and years of commitment. And finally, they say:

“We fall in love by chance. We stay in love by choice.”

© 2020 Kedar Naik

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  • kdblogger profile imageAUTHOR

    Kedar Naik 

    3 weeks ago from India

    Thanks, @MsDora. Nice to hear from you.

  • MsDora profile image

    Dora Weithers 

    3 weeks ago from The Caribbean

    Very good points! All very important for consideration for those who are, or getting into relationships.

  • kdblogger profile imageAUTHOR

    Kedar Naik 

    7 weeks ago from India

    you are correct @dashingscorpio. That is why i wrote a line : "We fall in love by chance. We stay in love by choice.”

  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 

    2 months ago from Chicago

    "..most of the relationships don’t work out are because people don’t want to commit to the hard work that comes with it."

    - Not exactly.

    When it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. Very few people hit a homerun their first, second, third, or fourth time up at bat. If this were not true we'd all be married to our high school sweethearts!

    Oftentimes our "first love" occurs during our (teenage years) odds are against us this relationship will lead to "happily ever after" no matter how "committed" the two young lovers are. Truth be told they've yet to figure out who (they) are, let alone know what they want and need in a mate for life.

    They allow "impulsive connections" and 'happenstance" to dictate their relationship choices. It's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!

    Dating and relationships during much of youth is (exploratory).

    Whatever made for an ideal mate at age 16, 18, or 22, most likely will not cut it for us at age 30 and beyond.

    Our mate selection/screening process and "must haves list" evolves as we do with age and life experience. In addition everyone makes mistakes including choosing the WRONG mate for ourselves.

    There is no amount of "work" or "communication" which can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want.

    We also eventually learn to stop trying to "change" people.

    Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.

    The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want.

    This is a lesson we don't learn until after a few breakups.

    There are three basic reasons why couples split

    1. They chose the wrong mate. (They're too incompatible.)

    2. A "deal breaker" was committed in the eyes of one of them.

    3. They fell out of love/grew apart over time.

    It takes two people to make a relationship work and only one person to decide it's over to end it. Not all relationships were meant to last. The goal is to have a "soulmate" not a "cellmate".

    "Some people come into our lives as blessings, and some come into your life as lessons." - Mother Teresa

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