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5 Things to Never say to Your Spouse

Updated on December 13, 2014
C.V.Rajan profile image

C.V.Rajan is a retired Engineer and a spiritual seeker.With inquisitive observation of life, he writes on several human relationship issues.

“Unspoken words are golden” in a marital relationship. Women are more verbose by nature and mostly they get away with what they say. But men are limited in their histrionic capabilities and at times even a little they speak has the potential to damage the relationship, because womenfolk have the capacity to read the unwritten in between the lines! There are certain things best left unsaid by a husband to his wife and here are those five things.

1) “I love you more than anyone else”

Two thousand years ago, the renowned Tamil saint poet Thiruvalluvar in his magnum opus Thirukkural wrote “When he said ‘I love you more than any one’, she demanded to know ‘over whom, over whom’.” Womenfolk are pretty the same over these years!

Every woman thinks that she is unique and cannot be compared with any other mortal. If you love her better than X or Y, doesn't mean that you have somebody to fall back on just in case your love comes to a dead end with her? That's unacceptable. Either you should float with her or sink with her. No second options are admissible!

2) “I can't stand your parents”

A woman might have felt the same herself about her parents when she was in teen age. But after marriage, she becomes too sensitive and possessive about her lineage. Retaliation is the potent weapon that women possess. If you say you cannot stand her parents, she would extend the same principle to your parents, brothers, sisters, your pet, your pet’s parents and offspring and so on! Most women can either love or hate, with no graduated stops in between. If a woman senses that you do not love her with all the things associated with her, she will start hating everything associated with you.

3) “I really wonder how I fell in love with you. How immature I was then”

She is bound to get furious with such a statement. You will promptly get a certificate with authority that you are in no way a more matured or better person than you were when you met her for the first time. While you seem to realize your immaturity so belatedly, she was mature and magnanimous enough to accept your immaturity right from the beginning and you have to be thankful to her for bearing with you all through these years of togetherness, with that knowledge heavily weighing on her shoulders!

4) “ I would any day rate your sister/ your niece/ your cousin to be more beautiful than you”

Never trample over this bombshell. You will end up crippled. If you compare her with other women, she will compare you, well, with animals and rate them better!

5) “I slog day in and day out for the sake of the family”

Sorry. Womenfolk always think with little trace of doubt that it is they who slog it out and sacrifice everything in their lives for the sake and well being of the husband and children. It is their considered opinion that men simply go out and enjoy their lives at their workplace.

You may think that this article has covered only half the side as these points are all for the husbands. Where are similar points for wives? Frankly, they are unnecessary. No women with common sense ever think that they need verbal restrictions when it comes to dealing with their husbands. Who else other than a wife can ever speak frankly and openly with her husband either with the kindest words or with the harshest words, if what she speaks, in her opinion and conviction, is only truth and nothing but truth?


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    • C.V.Rajan profile image

      Disillusioned 3 years ago from Kerala, India

      Thank you prasetio30!


    • prasetio30 profile image

      prasetio30 3 years ago from malang-indonesia

      Very useful hub. I'm glad to follow your tips. Thanks for sharing with us. Have a good day!

    • C.V.Rajan profile image

      Disillusioned 3 years ago from Kerala, India


      You are right provided the wife is not smart enough to catch sarcasm and wry humor!

      Even if the woman is dumb in this area, she will catch one by his facial expressions when he uses either of them!

    • Emmyboy profile image

      Emmyboy 3 years ago from Nigeria

      Nice points but you can still say it and get away with it if and only if you've got a thing for sarcasm and wry humor.

    • C.V.Rajan profile image

      Disillusioned 3 years ago from Kerala, India

      Thank you buddhaanalysis!

    • C.V.Rajan profile image

      Disillusioned 3 years ago from Kerala, India

      Thank you Abdullah!

    • profile image

      buddhaanalysis 3 years ago

      Very useful tips for men..

    • m abdullah javed profile image

      muhammad abdullah javed 3 years ago

      Very interesting write Rajan Sir! Thanks for sharing. Voted up. The words of Tamil Saint and Poet Thiruvalluvar, very short though, are quite impressive, hope you will enlighten us about the poet's views some other time. Take care.