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6 Tips to Survive a Long Term Relationship Breakup

Updated on February 9, 2018
The breakup of a long term relationship can be devastating.
The breakup of a long term relationship can be devastating.

Love is Easy--Breakups are Hard

You may remember the first time you fell in love with your significant other. You probably thought the love you felt for each other would last forever. However, circumstances as well as life situations change. For some couples the relationship continues happily; however, for others it does not. In fact, your relationship may have lasted many years before the breakup occurred. The steps you take after the breakup of a long term relationship can determine how quickly you recover.

1. Unless Children Are Involved, Make a Clean Break From Your Significant Other

In a long term relationship, you may have children. If so, your children will always be a part of your life, regardless of how you feel about your significant other. For that reason, it is not possible to break from the relationship completely. Be sure your involvement with your ex is centered around the children and does not meander into anything else.

If you were in a long term relationship that ended and no children were involved, it will be easier to make a clean break from each other. You may have heard of couples who broke up and told everyone they are still "friends." Even though this is possible, it is in your best interest to break ties with your significant other. By doing so, you open up the doors for someone else special to enter later when you are ready to start a new relationship.

2. Dispose of or Discard His or Her Things in Your Home

You may have seen romantic movies where the woman angrily takes off her engagement or wedding ring and tosses it. It's as if the ring symbolizes their relationship and she is separating herself from it. Similar to this scenario, dispose of any gifts, trinkets or other objects obtained from your significant other. By the way, if you were engaged -- that means you should return the ring as well.

After a long term relationship has ended, you probably captured memories either on video or in photographs. You should not keep reminders in your home of your signficant other. The videos and pictures serve no purpose but to cause you to remember previous happier times you had. There is no need to wallow in your sorrow this way -- just dispose of or discard the videos and photographs.

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3. Consider Ending Mutual Friendships

When you are in a long term relationship, it is likely that you have mutual friends you share with your significant other. It is also likely that as friends, you partied or went to places together. However, after your breakup, you are no longer a couple. Should you stop socializing with the mutual friends you had prior to your long term relationship breakup? This depends on the degree of friendship you shared. Just be sure your mutual friends know that your long term relationship is over, so if they invite you to an event, they should not invite you and your significant as a couple.

4. Give Yourself Time to Mend before Jumping Into Another Relationship

You may try to regain the warm feeling that being in a relationship brings by dating other people right after your long term relationship breakup. Refrain from doing so since you would be dating someone on the rebound. You will not only inconvenience and possibly hurt this person's feelings, but you are putting him or her in an uncomfortable situation. He or she may be ready to have a relationship, but you certainly are not. An exception is if you plan to casually date someone. The problem presented here is sometimes it's difficult to control feelings and emotions. While you are fine with casual dating, the other person may be ready to be in a committed relationship. Unfortunately, you are not ready to start another relationship right about the breakup.

5. Talk to a Friend or Relative

Once your long term relationship has ended, confide in trusted friends or relatives. Do not keep your pain bottled up inside. Of course, spare your friends or relatives the details of your relationshop; however, you may talk about how you are feeling, whether you are experiencing relief, sadness, etc. They will listen to you with a kind ear and probably offer you suggestions as to how you can cope with your situation, including whether you should exercise, go to yoga classes or some other ways to recover from your long term relationship breakup.

6. Do Not Blame Anyone for the Long Term Relationship Breakup

After your long term relationship has ended, you may have the urge to analyze and try to find out why it did not last. Maybe there was cheating involved, financial problems, you grew apart from each other, or a myriad of other reasons to cause the breakup. The perplexing question may be who caused the long term relationship to end. However, this is not the time to point fingers at anyone -- yourself included. Instead of trying to place blame on the other person or yourself, simple acknowledge the fact your long term relationship could not be saved. More importantly -- Don't look backwards - move forward. Happier days are ahead.


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    • ladyhowto4u profile image

      Courtlney Davis 2 weeks ago

      Hi dashingscorpio, Thanks! I think soulmates' feelings for each other should be mutual as indicated. By the way, I like the Oscar Wilde quote which is good advice. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. -- Courtlney

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 weeks ago

      Great advice!

      In order for him/her to have been "the one" they would have had to see (you) as being "the one". At the very least a "soulmate" is someone who actually wants to be with you! (And vice versa).

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

      Every ending is a new beginning!