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5 Best Ways of How to Kiss a Girl

Updated on July 14, 2013

5 Ways to Kiss a Girl

Girls can be very confusing, you take them out on a date you both have a great time together chatting away happily all night laughing at each others jokes and on the walk home they even let you hold their hands.

Then you both stand chatting away outside her front door and as you gaze lovingly into each others eyes, you move your head a little closer to her and closer until your lips are touching her lips, then bang out of the blue "Ewwwwww what do you think your doing" and the slap on the face that follows nine out of ten times.

You walk back to your place wondering what you did wrong, what is wrong with you? Does your breath smell? I thought she liked me, and so on.

Now before you read any further I must state that I accept no responsibility for any slaps in the face you receive. Nor do I accept any legal liability five years into your marriage; to the girl you tried my techniques on, when you hit the divorce court.

I definitely accept no responsibility for any actions taken against you by the enraged boyfriend.

Ok now the disclaimer is out of the way we can get on with it five ways to kiss a girl.

How To Get Girls To Kiss You

Make sure your breath is fresh, have a mint or use a breath spray and pucker up.

  • 5 This technique will earn you more slaps on the face than any other, you see the girl walk right up to her throw your arms around her and plant one on her lips. (This one sometimes works without incident because the girl is so shocked that she forgets to slap you.) When she does remember to slap you though the slap hurt rating is a clear 10/10.
  • 4 Pretending that you have something in your eye technique is one of the most popular ways; she moves her head closer and you move in for the kill. (Slap rating 5/10)
  • 3 Another pretend, you pretend that she has something on her face, get her to close her eyes and you will remove it for her, when she closes her eyes you do the dirty deed. (Slap rating 5/10)
  • 2 The easiest way to kiss a girl is with her consent; if you are a patient person the best time to get the consent of most girls is New years day, boring, I know but if you are that desperate for a kiss it is worth the wait, even if it is just a peck on the cheek. (Slap rating 0/10)
  • 1 This one is the one that I used most often in my younger days and surprisingly I was never slapped on the face, screamed at and none of the girls that I tried it with were ever repulsed by it. it was always taken with the sense of humour intended by the kiss. You go up to her point to your neck and ask "Do you like my new aftershave" as she reaches her face to your neck you turn your head and kiss her square on the lips. The girl always laughs when you do this. (Slap rating 0/10)

Comments

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    • profile image

      noah 

      6 years ago

      i get punched not slapped

    • profile image

      али 

      6 years ago

      lol )) i like the third way it's sososo cunning hahah

    • profile image

      Amir 

      6 years ago

      i thing a better way is queastion about her prfume's name and smell her neck and then kiss her neck &ear. what do u thing?!

    • profile image

      Petty 

      6 years ago

      I hope no1 will work but have never slaped one.

    • profile image

      Conswala 

      6 years ago

      I try this tomorrow

    • profile image

      bele 

      6 years ago

      kissing is sweat

    • profile image

      ETHAN 

      6 years ago

      aftershave Why didn't I think of that ?_(@0@)_? STUPID LOL

    • profile image

      ASHWIN 

      6 years ago

      i gonna try it on dec 8th, the day we gona meet.

    • profile image

      Babemagnet666 

      7 years ago

      Haha truth or dare is teh best for kissing girls! Get them to play and then wait your turn. If your friend are kinda onto you liking some girl, they'll always dare her to kiss you. Believe me, it works!

    • profile image

      Zero 

      7 years ago

      Ha ha ill try nuber three tomorrow then let ya know how it ended

    • profile image

      soso 

      7 years ago

      what a silly article?

      steps for kissing

    • profile image

      someone 

      7 years ago

      lol i haven't even done any of these and ive gotten slapped 3 times

    • profile image

      uu 

      7 years ago

      the girl are very happy to kiss

    • profile image

      Viv 

      8 years ago

      Very funny and amusing article. I really enjoyed reading it. Trick No. 1 was the funniest. Thanks for making us laugh.

      Viv

    • lxxy profile image

      lxxy 

      8 years ago from Beneath, Between, Beyond

      Haha, I'm gonna do the eye trick today...but she won't slap me. Well, at least not on the face. ;)

    • profile image

      Sexy men 

      8 years ago

      Hey what happens when your girl barly kisses you on the lips

    • profile image

      jessy 

      8 years ago

      me nether

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 

      11 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      hahaha ive never slapped anyone yet. and i hope i never will. :-)

    • Isabella Snow profile image

      Isabella Snow 

      11 years ago

      I love number 1 !! :))

    • profile image

      Don MacIver 

      11 years ago

      Too funny Jimmy!

      Broken nose?? Holy @#*!?? Just from an innocent kiss or was there some questionable hand play at work to compliment the big kiss?!!

      I was kind of shy in my early dating years and if memory serves me correct (this was some 30 years ago) if I had any doubt I abstained from even that kiss until the second date, thus avoiding any embarrassing assault situations. Hee hee!

      I changed gradually with the times and got by without a single slap.

      Cheers, Don

    • jimmythejock profile imageAUTHOR

      James Paterson 

      11 years ago from Scotland

      lol Paul my nose has been broken more times than i remember.....jimmy

    • Paul Edmondson profile image

      Paul Edmondson 

      11 years ago from Burlingame, CA

      Thanks for the laugh Jimmy. Now, I don't think I was ever slapped, perhaps I wasn't fully utilizing all the options at my disposal. No pain, no gain....or something like that.

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