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6 Reasons to Dump Your Girlfriend: Breaking Up Made Easy

Updated on July 28, 2014
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How to Dump Your Girlfriend

Unless you're heartless, dumping your girlfriend can be one of the hardest things to do in a relationship. It's never nice to hurt another person and usually the dumpee is going to be more hurt than the dumper.

But while the person doing the dumping will feel some relief, he's also likely to feel some sadness, particularly when he's aware that he's dumping somebody who's really into him and doesn't want to be dumped. There might be crying or screaming and the guy has to be ready for anything.

However, it's one thing if your girlfriend has always been true and you just feel like moving on and have no particular reason for ending the relationship. It's quite another when the relationship goes south in a bad way. The reasons listed below are of particular note. However, there are others. You should probably consider dumping your girlfriend if she: pees on any food, poisons you, kicks your pet, flushes your goldfish down the toilet, bends a football card, shuts off a close NBA game in the last two minutes, forces you to watch Dancing with the Stars, and won't see an action movie with you.

But be particularly aware if she pulls one of these:

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Your girlfriend shuts off your Xbox before you've had a chance to save

A woman who doesn't respect your hobbies is a woman you shouldn't be with. Women frequently don't understand a man's obsession with various hobbies like watching football and playing video games, but it's one thing to lack understanding of a man's hobbies, it's another thing to be completely disrespectful.

A woman who pulls the power on your XBox in the middle of a video game may very well be committing virtual murder. After all, if you've just spent the last hour on Dark Souls, for instance, developing your character and you haven't found a place to save your game and your girlfriend, claiming that 2am is too late to be playing video games, casually walks in and shuts off the power, that's basically killing off your character and robbing you of the investment of time you've put into that game. It's like you were never there.

So a woman who would do that is wiping out your existence. A woman who would do that would just as soon kill you in your sleep. Dump her first.

2008 Fantasy Draft board
2008 Fantasy Draft board

Your girlfriend asks you why you waste so much time on fantasy football

Just like chicks do not understand video games and the necessary amount of time a dude must invest playing them, neither do they understand how fantasy football completes a guy. It makes him whole. It allows him to be one with his friends even if he throws a football like a pansy and couldn't catch a baseball if you dropped it into his hands. Even if a man cries like a little girl if you pinch him too hard, playing fantasy football lets him imagine that he's a tough guy and a genius all at the same time. Any woman that would take that feeling away from a man might as well take him to the vet and have him neutered.

Your girlfriend says your guy friends are a bunch of idiots

Women who don't understand a guy's need to spend time with his guy friends aren't worth keeping. And maybe the reason for keeping such a woman is because she's super hot or good in bed or whatever, but a guy who does so will always be pressured to keep away from his guy friends in some form or another. Women come and go, but guy friends are forever (or usually longer). If a guy has had certain friends for decades and a new woman comes along and doesn't like them, there's probably something wrong with her, not the guy's friends. So dump her fast unless you want a lot of headaches and stress.

Your girlfriend throws a hissy fit that involves breaking your stuff

Many men don't often think of women as having anger issues because men are usually strong enough physically to handle most women. However, it's just not true. Women can be as angry as many men. The smarter, more psychologically balanced ones know how to deal. The psychologically unbalanced ones take your Mac and throw it out the window when you come home a little late from a night out with the guys or don't buy her the right birthday present. No guy should put up with that kind of juvenile behavior. Get rid of her before she takes your car and drives it into a tree.

Would you ever take a lover back who slept with your best friend?

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Your girlfriend sleeps with your best friend

Vengeful women are best avoided. When a woman is mad at you, she might do a number of things. She might pee in your coffee. She might use her teeth performing a certain sex act. She might call your boss and tell him that you're really an axe murderer. She might tell your mom that you scream her name out while taking a dump. Who knows, really? However, among the most vengeful, despicable acts a woman can pull is sleeping with your best friend. This not only ruins your relationship with the woman, but with the best friend as well. There's nothing quite like destroying two relationships at once. If your girlfriend pulls this stunt, say adios and don't look back.

Have you ever been with someone who withheld sex to manipulate you?

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Your girlfriend withholds sex

Now, given the other things a girlfriend might do to warrant being dumped, this might seem somewhat minor. It's not. When a woman starts withholding sex as a form of manipulation, the relationship is in trouble. You never want to go out with any woman who uses sex this way. In order to have a healthy relationship, sex should be something you both enjoy and practice freely. When it becomes a means to an end, things are in trouble. Dump any woman who would use sex as a weapon.

© 2013 Sychophantastic


Submit a Comment

  • Sychophantastic profile image

    Sychophantastic 4 years ago

    Thanks for the comments! These were meant to be funny, but in general, people should look for behaviors that indicate larger problems. Minor problems can be overlooked and everyone has minor issues. You just don't want to be in a situation where you're perpetually unhappy.

  • PaoloJpm profile image

    John Paolo B.Magdaluyo 4 years ago from Philippine

    I find it little bit funny,I don't know. But, this is REAL! yet, we can't blame a woman who acts like that because,I believe,whatever or whoever she is,she's still my damn girl who I fell in love with.

  • Anamika S profile image

    Anamika S 4 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

    Everyone makes some compromise or the other in relationship. But if an individual is unhappy in a relationship, I guess it is time to end it.

  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 4 years ago

    Everyone is entitled to have their own "deal breakers". There are no such things as (universal) "deal breakers". For everyone you can think of there is someone living under those conditions with no plans to exit.

    Anyone who is unhappy in a relationship and (chooses) to stay is by default (choosing) to be unhappy. Wanting to date other people is enough of a reason to end a relationship. It beats the hell out of cheating!

    The beautiful thing about a door is it lets those who want in (in) and those who want out (out). No one is "stuck" with anyone.

    We are always where we want to be.